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1
It's 5am
Writing a sob story that's too pathetic to cry over
It doesn't matter what you did, what you're doing or what you're going to do because I just want to be with you
I feel like a crazed boy band fan who knocks on their door at 5am
  just to tell them how amazing they are
but they already know that
so the girl look twice as stupid then she did before her knuckles tapped their door.
At least they have body guards so they can prevent her from making a fool
Who is there to protect me, to prevent me?
Am I suppose to be my own sercurity
because I'm not as strong as I make myself seem
  I can't lock my feelings away I can't program my mind to put a 1-2-3-4-5 digit code and store it some place.
It's more than attraction and your beautiful face
or the way my heart races down the empty road of our relation ship we never had
You and I wanted different things. You wanted my body
even then it felt like you didn't
  I keep hoping and hoping that things will be different.
That my feelings will change and you take my position. But it wont and these butterflies in stomach tell me why.
  Because its 5am when I should be asleep
or at least reading a book or watching tv but its 5am and I'm writing about you.
The sun is rising and the birds are chirping .
The noise of the birds tapping at my window annoys me because it reminds of me you and I not being together
it reminds that not only are we not lovers but we're barely even friends
Brown Eyes
deep inside the piercing brown eyes
is a world that i would like to be mine
using them to see the clear blue sky above
the green grass that glows below
what is on the other side thats greener
who knows cause what I see is better
I can feel our bodies intertwining with each other
Is the universe telling us that we should be together
because we see eye to eye and our third one even stronger
I want you in my life and I can’t wait any longer
The way your fingers trace the outline of my face
The way you wrap your hand around my lower back and pull me in closer
I taste and feel your tongue caressing mine and the pill that comes with it tastes better than what heaven is supposedly like because its from you
The devil must have created because you're sinfully perfect
I bite into your candy coated lips and dig my fingers into your back
I don't want to wake up with dust all over from the sand man telling me it isn't reality
Because I can touch the blue colors up above
Everything so vivid like watching a movie in IMAX especially that GREEN grass
Oh Mary-Jane how Spider-Man loved her
But I'm pretty sure we loved her more
It was an out-of-body experience
I had to replay the video over and over and over until I stopped because I knew It had to end. That it would end early so to keep me from hurting I pressed pause.
But what I didn't realize that the hurt was there before I was floating on cloud 9. My face turned hot, I began to breathe loudly hoping I would get out of this bad condition
I can't just wait here confused burned up and wishing
I asked the question I got what I wanted
Is this how you feel or am I being taunted?
We blazed and the memory after was so hazy
I unpaused the video and continued where we left off
And put visine in my eyes because of the irritation
I thought it would clear the path of what was to come
Back and forth of 20 questions left unanswered
Because it was overwhelming and the light was too bright
So you put on your all black shades to tame it and soon those 20 questions came down to 0
I left purgatory, not anymore caught in between the two
I repented my sins , my reward was you
Although it wasn't what I had wanted at first Beggars can't be choosers
I'm glad I get to have your body as much we want
I'm glad I get to have as many pills touch my tongue and put me in trans
I'm glad I get to have your cold breath give my neck goosebumps until I have to fade into the real world of drunken nights, pills, responsibilities , bills, cranky professors, being psychedelically in touch with nature, enjoying the breeze.
Hope for us to see the light
Hope for us to see it shine
The brightness in-between our eyes
Imagination, the creation that flows within our veins
The one light in the rainbow that keeps us sane
Hope for my generation
Hope for us to see that we are the light
Brighter than sun
We are Indigo Children
Don’t keep us trapped
Just let us come out to play
My phone
she vibrates , it feels warm and soft like the hugs he gives me when he needs me the most, I wonder who it is?
My phone
she vibrates again, it feels relaxing like the gaze he gives to tell you it’s okay.. I wonder if it’s him?
My phone
she vibrates again and again, it feels cold like-
My phone
she rings , the sound is-
My phone
she screams and she yells
she tells me to stop
stop waiting, it isn’t good for you
waiting is for heartbreak
waiting only leads down a vague abyss in the ocean
you may know how to swim, but the weight of him will drown you
DOn’t wait , just go
Stop waiting by your phone
-Christine
Why are you letting social media control you?
Why do you let it consume you?
Why are you so disrespectful to one another?
Why can't you love one another?
You let the outside voices suffocate your ideas until they can't think for themselves
Party, party, party
The color purple creeping up your drank
The snow white tickling your nose
You're stupid, c'mon you're better thAn that
Shaking your *** for the world to see, in the long run is that gonna get you a job or is it gonna put you out in the streets
I hate this generation, see back in my day..
I hate this generation is all I hear them say
Loving what we're doing wrong but never what we're doing right
Well see I love my generation
We're not epidemic , we're not pathetic, we're beautiful people who have a majestic presence
We're smarter everyday, if only they could see
We're trying to branch out, and repeat history
I hated
I hated me
No, i loved to hate me
I hated black
I hated black clothes , made me feel hot , never embraced the heat it gave me
I hated the night, a cold harsh wind seeping into my skin
I hated the sun, I was afraid of it
I hated that they made me hate me
I let it consume me
Things are different now, though
My thoughts are stronger
My vision is clearer
My body feels lighter
My smile is brighter
I love my skin better than ever
The sky hugs my melanin, i feel vibrant
free, i feel one with it
different shades of black, so many to choose
so rich, tasteful, so strong
cocoa butter kisses so sweet with every touch
I’m in love with my skin and so is the sun
tell me that you miss me
tell me that you love me
cause so far all the words you've said
haven't made me happy
but yet I rather hear the words that sting
than nothing

— The End —