The influx of emotions
        and their ebb
                      and flow
swirl like a cyclone within me
I stand upon the cliffs,
                      hair blowing
                                mind rolling
into nuances
and languages
existing beyond words
 as each feeling whirls
                         and melts
into the other
     until they rise like birds
Around me,                      
each one takes the stance
                     of a miniature kite
attached to my limbs
pulling me this way
                                 and that
Yes, I know that our emotions
 are as rivers,    
                        rushing through
our banks
           soaking the essence
                                of our beings
              with fresh coolness
and alternately,
where it meets sea,
brine in searing tears                  
I know the stillness of my
               own soul, placid as a
                             rock in a typoon    
     yet sometimes
          unable to shake off
the heaviness of algae
it can almost suffocate
and to get through its
            dank seaweed density
          I shall just envision lightness
in the aviary form
              of hummingbirds
or kingfishers…yes, even soaring eagles
tugging on my heartstrings
lifting me up and away
into the proverbial clouds
so I can just
                curl up
         into fetal position
and let myself be
                      gently rocked
                             until the storm
                       blows over

Heartbeats fast
whispers and plans
a mother's heart conflicted
as she wrings her hands
through the courage,
streaming tears
        she will let him go
despite her fears
Outside, canines barking harsh
men's cruel shouts
she must say her goodbyes
as the shots ring out
So many kisses
on his sweet, sleepy face
         little man deep in slumber,
in angelic grace
yes, he cried for a minute
as the morphine kicked in
and she rocked him and rocked him
his little frame, so thin
Now as his father takes him
she crumples to the wall
"By the will of God may I see
him again" she whispers
for he is her all
Outside the freeze
puffs breath into clouds
the quiet imperative for
             this next move:
Father gently slips son
into the rough-hewn jute,
No rotten potatoes today, no
this is far more important
No one will look for a tot
in a potato sack, he hopes
He looks around and slips
through the hole in the wire
These moments are critical
the need for speed is dire
A quick trip to the village
           in the black cloak of night
looking over shoulder
Finally the house…it's just there,
the next meadow over
the secret knock is sounded
and the door opened in silence
warm arms greeting, helping
carry the goods inside
Will this be a respite
from all the endless violence?
            Laid gingerly on the bed,
the sack is eased off gently
no potatoes inside
just a small sleeping boy
his parents only pride
Father strokes his hair,
Lays his palms on his head
to bless this bundle of sweetness
in his new environment
"I will come for you, my son"
tucks thin blanket around
and the deed is done
and now, in the cold lonely
smoldering air
of the burning dark
now in the kiss of hopeful protection
yes, now it's time to part

Back to his wife in the ghetto's
cold, sickened  space
to try to convince her
to bust out of that twisted place
You are my warrior, you
and all the others
Your spirit beats on
in my
     naked heart's
            thunder

Bring me forth
          from that nightflow
magnet for I
    have heard the calls
of my guardians
they have beckoned
                 me into a visionary stupor
pulled my head from the
           quicksand's mulch
my daily chores whirling
                         from my hands
             they are spinning me around
like a an electric charged
                   whirlpool of light
all objects caught up in
its path
             be they leaves
                              or rocks
or household appliances
and I am casting to hell
and highwater
            all of those warnings
as sacred adorations
nick into my solitude
I fling my demons to the skies
          release them to their
                              own salvation
I do not wish them before
                            my eyes
as I work my own deliverance
of beatitudes
   my own song of songs
spun into the glowing
Let them sputter and trip
over their words
           My inner hearing closes
upon their petty phrases as
they mouth them out of sync
             The path opens up before me
               as riverflow
                       in one graceful arc
Here I fight in my own
               siege of Orléans
No point in stopping me
because the vestige of
flickering truth is turning
into the solid molecules
                    of freedom's spark
right before
             your very eyes

Take me to an exotic country somewhere
in a foreign land, where humid jungles create
misty vapors and sculptured dunes arise from sand
take me to that unknown continent
of untethered, love-soaked lust
weave within me slips of words
like prayers within cracks of an ancient wall
like garlands of fragrant, knotted trust
where the only language spoken is our eyes
locked in soldered magnet pools a world our own
where permanently autumnal air brings unlimited breaths,
our heat soothed by the coolness of stone
Wander with me inside caves and canyons
skip through flowered valleys of green
I will soothe the ache of your loneliness
in the twilight's sunset sheen
and in the rivers of me flowing
pure pleasure gushing rain
soaking up our glowing, as we purge all
poison's pain
            One subtle touch of heart
and I am floating way out into grounded space
I ask you, kindly, to slowly take me apart
in cinematic rhythms of timeless, zoneless pace
all the while the licks and drips
between the moans and sighs
as we travel landscapes of our skin
across maps of muscles, lips and thighs
Our mutual body knowledge comes in pieces that are whole
sweet chasing out of bitter as we ****** forth our souls
I  will pour my light into your dark
most blackened, wounded chasms
turning lava into stream
dark quakes in gentle spasms
So just take me there, over the edge
to that other country, distant world
as we undo facades in one quick impassioned rising
so unknown in this plane of routine and steady
I have my ticket to outdo our hunger
                     under stars
My luggage and passports are ready

I am the Empress of Darkness
I conjure coal and obsidian
from smoke-curled skies
I am bent on destruction
of the inner deaths
                       that exist
creeping up my spine
I am a raging inner momentum
                          of swirling clouds
holding the black seas at bay
I wish to conjure darkness
                       in order to bring light
first clearing out
all that has claimed me
chase it away from the
fog that has coated
                     my bones and organs
Bring it on, I say
Filter right out of me
    Demise: Hear me clear
You are no longer welcome
in the echoed canyons of this heart
I throw you into
the reverse quilt of stars
and you fall like a blanket
upon the night's clear breath
I am the Empress of Light
and I claim myself back
I take back the cloak
of what was always mine
Hear my cry
Let your eyes mist over in
familiar newness
Cower in your own shadow
for it is my time to shine

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
mine)* and it wanders over
the slopes and valleys
of my own
wildernesses
I think of you
in plains and grasslands
sleekly wet in mountain curve
as you coolly crack the
earthly fissures
of my heart  quakes
inside
morning light
you transverse
your poetic speak
deep inside my night
your are always with me
in seeping pinpoints
of brightness
of gentle storms
you rock my dark to sleep
you are present
not obsessively
yet strongly
the way people describe
alcohol in veins
you regularly cut them
open, my heartstrings
you strum upon
their vibrations
like waves of calm
intoxication
lulling me
into gentle earthquake
pleasure and centered
breaths
leaving pieces rocking
throughout
my bloodflow back
up interspersed
between beats
i carry you
(that heart of yours)
in my heart
and I treasure
this residence
you have taken up
in my desert
blooms
faraway touch of lips
makes
pulse quiet
in soft booms
your voice soothing
storms
and you i like
sweetly in
my pulse
as seeds just
grow
i carry your heart
inside mine all day
your voice soothing
storms
my raging river
in your flow

I walked around you
seven times
under that canopy
and you smashed that glass
our hearts flew
         and all around us
Cheers
Then moving down the line
with these mixed up mashed up
years
Three growing precious seedlings
in our shared garden
         fertile soil, tender new leaves
blessings of fruit and flowers
                     cornucopias of sheaves
As we battled side by side
when hard times
           demanded nourishing:
Little bud born before her time
                 now a blossom flourishing
Little man struggling with his anger
                        calmer in his essence
Angel child's illness
and recovery:
a blessed efflorescence
Yes this woman is thankful
appreciative beyond words
and simultaneously so weary
                         of always struggling to be heard
yes, deep inside
long years remaining
              invisible
less and less warmth
of emotional and physical
and now, somehow
        your motivation has been tossed
  the way to each others' spirits
in raging heartwaves- lost
If this sacred bond
was written in fire
Baby, you have left me to burn
The only way to save myself
is to search for all I yearn
I made myself into what I thought
you wanted
Pushed my soul into a tiny box
now it simply won't stay in
and I bust open all the locks

I put out the fires
       of the stars in my eyes
to try and fit your flow
in the process
lost myself in the abyss
ignoring my inner glow
    
Well
my darling it is time
to be released from darkness
if you will not
take my hand
if you will not
run with me
if you will not
accept my hands of help
if you will not
be willing
at all
I will walk seven times  around the fire
I will smash the glass of my heart
I will pick up those pieces
and hold them up to the stars
I will be rebuilt,
taking back the constellations

I will throw them back
into the vastness
of creation
I will honor our process
before I gently, firmly,
take apart
the sweet universe
we have constructed
finishing the start
we will protect our flowers
And you will wonder
as you turn
into earthen fossil stone

Why on earth,
why in heaven's name
are you suddenly
alone

And now is the time
             when I gather
my tribe around me
All the sacred members
            sworn to loyalty
from lands near and far
as we unify as one
and follow that distant star
                   move forward into
the deep promised darkness
                           of night
almost stealthily
as to not wake up the enemy
even if we know
that here there is no
                       real enemy
only the fragments of ourselves
that battle each other secretly
in our quest for learning
dreams that weave their way
                  around our brains
only the questions
that pierce with arrowed pain
with desert static glowing quiet
dusky murmurs of whispers
in their tacit riot        
                  braiding their way
like prayers in the soul
And so you are with me
            helping me stay whole                  
Holding my hands
as I go to release my burden
and let go of the tactical
                   remnants of what was
Express the undoing
                       that must happen
Put the new phase into
tender sprightly action
          there simply is no choice
no turning back now
and you my loving
                  truth warriors
Tribe of so many facets
You have encircled me with
          the most lit up aura ever
Together we long for the dream
beams of light
as we march forward
kindred spirits
into the glowing arc of dawn
and I am ready
to plunge
into the newness of fire
ride the waves of passion
feed pure white desire
So walk with me
             to the sacred ground
Soon I will be back
to complete the next round
The battle has only just begun
whatever has been started
simply must be done
As I step into
              freedom's new sphere
with you at my side
there is simply
no fear

'

The stars are in a rush
around my head
spinning me into woven glitter
turning my body into golden dust
my mind into the silvery beat
                                  of wings
and as I rise from my bed
I am buoyed up by a force
                 not my own
it is so intense
that my mind is blown
I can only look up and let it shine,
this feeling of wholeness
that must somehow be mine
must be from
         a heavenly dimension
such intense loving
a direct extension
of how I wish to see
the world and show its hues
to impart my emotion
and  let loose my muse
such freshness and slaking
of creative thirst
such loving acceptance
a light so bright it bursts
and I am left without proper
words, sentences attempt
               to roll off my lips
and instead, tiny flowers
just twirl off the tips
of my fingers, like smoke to the sky
a cornucopia of feelings
gets me so high
My body grows a garden
petals unfurl from my *******
night blooms flow from my hips
as hyacinths pound
            through my chest
Wisps of
animal instinct
curl up through my spine
which lets me connect
to energy divine
Surrounded by this
               celestial glow
encapsulated within
beatific precision
I let myself bathe in that love
and recharge my vision
this is stronger than the heat
                          of a gentle sun
For this is the beauty,
the power
of a tribe
become One

Thank you, my friend;
         for reaching out
into the night
for seeing me through
into morning's light
         a little flash
of my phone light
Thank you, friend
      for letting me know I am seen
for letting me know
       how much I mean
for communicating,
    across the wires
how much I'm dear,
         that I'm desired
This means more sometimes,
       than one could ever know
especially when your very bed
has become an ice floe
especially when the one
who is supposed to warm you
embrace who you are
and enjoy, not ignore you
who is supposed to ignite you
with kisses
keep your body hot  
is next to you, but really not
I can extend my hand
and hope to tease
Instead draw it back,
      shocked by the freeze
For the sheets have become icy
arctic winds howl
my cat could be a seal
or polar bear on the prowl
the breath from your snore
rises up as steam
for it is so **** cold
in this iced-over scene
I'm so sick and tired
of this gelid room
So weary of my heart
being pierced by harpoons
I have tried to work my magic
apply balms to the scars
to prevent the ceiling
from growing icicle shards
And my bedroom is shaken
like some chaotic snow globe
moved by invisible hands
that search and probe
for now I am an ice princess warrior
with my map unfurled
researching ways to flee this frozen world
The kayak is ready
as I set my sights
        on warmer tundras
as I weave my lightening
and spread
          my thunder

You sometimes really
wear me out
run my emotions through
                                prewash
like laundry in the machine
spinning me around
and I know only I can stop it
but I do not want to
because of the fact
that the souls of your eyes
recognize in me what longs
to be touched
and you touch it
so much more than you think
so even if the going gets rough
even if the whites and darks
get mixed
and there is static fluff
and it clogs up the kitchen sink
I am not leaving, yet
I am holding my ground
and I hope you stay with me
coz I need you around
to see through
that laundry until it's done
even if it gets very, very *****
and the load needs to shoot
oh, we'll deal with that
because we are connected
we're on the same route
so put me through rinse
it doesn't faze me
as long as your love,
like magic soap
continues to clean and raise me
I want you in my life
as long as I know
that at the end of the cycle
we'll continue
to grow

The mind, the soul, the heart
sometimes craves
another part
the reverse imprint
of
a smile, a touch
that shows up
from the inside
sometimes in long drawn out
                      chain of circles
sometimes in the quickest
                  feather patterns
just touching in the lightest brush
the slightest echoes of the soul
Sometimes in an unexpected rush
                 like tidal oceans' flow
it's like a missing puzzle piece
it's like playing
          hide and seek
we are searching for a fit
we are searching for that shape
We are hoping
          as we run and search
from room to room
to soothe that inner ache
and in my dreams I'm playing tag
                    from my grasp slips
                                       whoever's "it"
playing endless hide and seek
straining at the bit
and it should be all fun and games
It should hold adventure true
but the only game is pain
and I emerge
quite black and blue
for hours and hours in the maze
hiding my true self
hoping to be found
for the glacier to be melt
with heated words that make no sound
and loving knowing eyes
                that penetrate through layers
   that look upon me, wise
No need to talk
or even think
no conversation needed
just a true connection
a bond
a communication completed

The truth is all there
  right beneath our skin
ready to be bared
it's surface, rice-paper thin
I have been way too long
in this murky room
always playing in the dark
sitting in the dusty, shadow gloom
and now a river's running through
the hallways of my heart
furniture is floating
walls just break apart
So if you find me, now
In this game of hide and seek
know my heart is now open
to the raging cosmic beat
run with me, if you dare
through that sparkling darkened door
My spirit-love is freed
and I couldn't
ask for more

As the roof crashes down
and comets fly above my head
as I run through all the chambers
dodge spinning  tables, chairs and beds

I crash through the door and draw
my sword
for I will keep up my fight
      for vitality to keep surging
through my soul
as I leap into electric
light

how less can be more
like the tiniest of lime-green shoots
about to unfurl their fancy to perpetual skies
more in the less, minimal beats , no stress
music I move to when I need a rise
a sudden arrival of pocket-sized birds, spinning my heart into a soar
this is how I know, how I know so well,  that less is actually more

Here in the desert
it's been raining
on and off
            for days
making the succulents and cacti
glisten with wetness
their thick skin sparkles
and catches nature's ironic eye
flowers and plants shine
so much better in the half-grey
Here in the prehistoric depths
Of rocky whitewash and silt
             flash floods rush through
flushing out all guilt
         And inside
a raging storm commences
and I feel so blessed
to be a part of this celebration
my lungs expanding in my chest
I breathe in deep
that fresh purity of air
let it cleanse right through me
from my toes up to my hair
It rushes in my body
taking no prisoners in its force
flows through every vein
cleansing poisons in its course
its power flows into me
washing out this stubborn pain
Turning the confusion
                     into clarity again
From inside subconscious thoughts
           realization thunders
rinsing from my mind
                 the emotional strain
and replacing it with euphoric wonders
Come, my raging desert tempest
Bathe me
       penetrate me with wet
restore and purify
my being
take over and disinfect
let me feel my own strength
until it pours out from my cells
into the space inside my heart
where love and lust still dwell
My tears mingle with the sweet drops
                as I fling arms open to the sky
releasing strikes of lightening
for every word I cry
as I summon, pray for lightness
mixed with the sturdiness of earth
Let joy rise up and bubble
within my being
as rebirth

Garden to my left,
colors so bright
the snapdragons and sweet peas
nod their watercolored heads
in the morning's silken light
chutney-colored wall
leading to my door
shoes neatly stacked
with toys in baskets
upon the concrete-patterned floor
plants align the window sill,
marking the flipside to my kitchen
reminding me of wafting tastes
in the form of stir-fry
or juicy chicken
to the right
a pumpkin-spiced ball of fur
my Ginger nestled tight
body rising and falling
in deep slumber's purr
his springtime pillow
puffed just right
The laughter I hear
fills my ears and heart
as children, (mine, too)….play
and I sit with my legs upon the
Tupperware chair
and contemplate the day
Between my palms Turkish coffee
entices with its delicious steam
and here come the thought police
to interrupt my desert dream

Back off *******,
I'm not going to jail.

Life is so precious
every moment
     wisps off into the dusk
as sunlight appears fleetingly
onto our upturned faces
and shifts into
          the paradigm of rain
how we struggle every day
to maintain this perishable dance
hold our heads
     above the rising current
fighting to stay aloft
battling for our survival
at times expectations tossed
         our broken sanity weaving its way
into our consciousness
we forget that even in
our daily commitments
there is magic
we forget to let it resonate
What if we decide
To throw our fears aside
What if we take a
steel-edged chance
gathering courage and running
to that rough-hewn cliff
what if we wish to climb
          the ladders as they spiral up
what if our ripening
is right now
as we search our souls
               to the root
and we must simply pull
back the cutting stone of illusion
to lovingly reveal
that luscious
vibe
of earth
            and fruit?

In this morning glow
I bask
arch my back like
an Egyptian cat
stretch into the sun
casting off
the saltiness that has
almost drowned me
I step out of briny waters
and move towards the sweet
draw it up into cupped palms
and pour it all over me
Its coolness kisses
my skin
it runs
         down
               my body's curves
touching secret places
hitting private nerves
if the body is a temple
then mine has become
my shrine
and I treat it with reverence
for it houses
my piquant, flavored mind
It provides shelter
for the heart
almost bursting through
my chest
But I feel it calming down,
                                      now
after stormy weather wet
Now it is time
                 to submerge
into the clear flow of crystalline
to enjoy the pleasure
           of liquid love
in myriad hues of blue
                          and green
So here I come, fish
Make room below
let me through
the gentle whirlpool spin
I am diving into
the rapture
of the succulence
                  within

She is one
           unused to
expressing sadness
            used to burying
her treasures
            to sewing up
the prize within her
"not acceptable"
the girlhood message
        Well it is time
to let it wash over
every pore
lest it turn into
         a quiet tsunami
time to
      allow it to rise
from deep dark
       corners of water
to give permission
to simply let
            it happen  
Here it comes:
rivulets of sadness
streams of pain
flow out like a river
to cleanse the mud and silt
opportunites created
      for healing currents
to flood the river banks
with sweet abundance
once again
Now precious stones
and wildflowers
are gently revealed;
It is time
to let all those dark
hidden jewels
be coaxed up
and kissed, one by
one by precious one
by the sun
like deep sea jellyfish
who are called
by the light
to adorn ocean's surface
and show off
  the vibrancy
of iridescent rainbow colors
years hidden away
yet always
actually
there

They apply the
      herbal poultices
to my broken frame
surrounding me with light
to melt the pain
They put their cooling
   healers' hands
around my heart
wrap it in a
         temporary tourniquet
so its beats
don't fall apart
and despite this endless
sadness
    I'm alive
due to my breathing
        gasping madness
to survive
My will is shining
glowing
bursting through
   despite the burning
craving soulful
missing
   of only you
The fire in my ribcage...
it will burn
but my healers-
they are tenderly
taking turns
administrating care
and tending to
     my needs
using ancient
knowledge of how
to cure
and how to bleed
and while I lie here
gashes open, old wounds exposed
My healers feel my pain
and simply know
"It's okay, sweet woman warrior
it takes time for deep cuts
to close" they whisper
knowing I can hear
subconsciously this prose
Inside their medicine bag
with its mysterious potions
they make bandages
from silk
rub in soothing lotions
As hurt gets released
into the potent air
in my semi-conscious
state
I am thankfully aware
that this is a chance
to just allow myself
to feel
Let sadness
go through me
in rivulets
in streams
Cleanse my aching
loving heart
until it
gleams

And my golden heart
is upon the floor
beaten in its beating
once again I am
in this place
of questionning
eyes searching for
ancient,
            encoded meanings
I look to the heavens
my eyes blinded by salt
by oceans of deep blue tears
a sea of emotion
that never ends,
yet I take the silvery
wings of my fears
I stand on the edge
of this new beginning
and throw them
off the cliff,
watch them dissolve
into misty threads
winds wrapping
my skin like a gift
I shift my vision
as I prepare to mend
the temporary sutures,
this intensely stinging rift
marks the majestic destiny of
             my pending future
Now the reigns
of life
are in my own two hands
as I move forward
in my quest
conjuring courage
within my warrior's soul
despite the pain
burning through my chest
For this is the time
this is the hour
for dream-fulfillment
and true loving self-worth
and I know
I am the only healer
of who I am
on this journey
        at the cusp of
                           rebirth

Undo your mind
help me to undo mine
It's time to set  
our spirits free
release what is rational
into the trees
time to conjure
beasts to play
allay all fears…
Yes, it's safe inside
this sacred space
This is where
we can surrender
to the primal forces
to the mountains' calling
this is where
we can gather sources
and let the smoke
roll off of our fingers
into the night's
licking fires
Come, now
allow yourself
to feel the breeze
as it caresses
strand by strand
our hair,
kisses in lightness
our tear-stained cheeks
I throw my nakedness
into the wind
invite the elements to
reveal themselves
I gather all
my strengths around me
allow my lips
to bless them,
one by precious one
I taste the very air
that confounds me
releasing confusion
to touch the unknown
and when this ritual is done
when the divine energy
starts to course through
at an even higher level
we look at one another
smile locking smile
grab hands
              and
                           run

You have me
           between
a polished rock
     and a hard place
like up against
the fridge
         or perhaps the wall
and if these swamplands
get any damper
I might
have to change
         the protocol
The humidity is rising
hot and wet, today, they say
it's best to proceed carefully
lest the steam fogs
up the way
Soon these swamps
will give way to jungle
for the heat is just too deep
I'm trying to fight it off
roasting slowly in my sleep
The calefaction is just too much
it drives me to distraction
like a fire in the brush
igniting lust for satisfaction
As for me
             I'm going swimming
in the nearest
lake or creek
my skin is
already dripping
so bring your love
                  to fix the leak

This rainforest of longing
    could break me at the seams
but when you show me your bare essence
the butter turns to cream
Oh ****
I am so between that hard place
and the rock we talked about
It's making me quite crazy
But let there be no doubt:
I need this tender conflagration            
even if my head
          stays in a spin
This frenzied circle
will go on and on
until the first blush
of skin
       on skin

I am an
emotional
      archeologist
digging d
                 e
                        e
                                p
into the contours
of the heart
trying to discern
what spots
need tender healing,
how to treat and
soothe its
fissured parts
I am a soul-mind
                   excavator
discerning
temperature and hue
measuring the depths
of textures
as we get down
to the root
We work hard,
my team and I
mapping earthen layers
we use the implements
                     of wisdom
to try and heal
this pain acute
and as we gently
cut through the strata
of history, of scars
I know that this
         explorer's work
is worth it
for we will reach up
to the stars
So we continue on
in patience,
into the
blazing core
      like truth-warriors
like healers
      unlocking secret
ancient treasures
that will rise up
to the
fore

So many emotions tonight
I just cannot keep
them in
They are bursting out
from this jar of stars
that I keep next to my bedside
and tonight I couldn't
close it tight
if I tried
yes they are erupting out
as the lid
flies to the skies
messy emotions everywhere,
all over the
bedcovers
spilling onto the carpet
over my fingers as I attempt
to catch them
now I see
that the stellar energy,
just busting
through the ceiling,
up through the roof
and over the stratosphere
is mine
it seems that
I am going for a night- ride
amongst those
brightly encoded particles
sensory endings a-glow
reaching out like starfish
infinite pieces of our being
as they meet the forces beyond
I am rushing through those
night clouds
fluidity floating
trying to understand it all
attempting to know why
How can I make it right
How can things get back on path
And then I realize
This is it…
The path
I am on it
the pieces
       will come back together
only after
they freely
unabashedly
shatter

Poetry is a mask in reverse
created from just a mere spark
bringing to light
who we really are
out of the depths of the dark
       Despite ourselves      
we try to hide
in the realms of our daily lives
and then poetry's
visceral therapy
weaves magic spells
from our fingers
     right out
                 of our minds
Suddenly, there is no choice
but to allow those masks
to be dropped
like a sudden change of fancy
at a medieval ball:
Naked eyes for coverings
are swapped
Yes…the command is given
ornate masks slip
with a splat upon
the floor
Suddenly, all dancers look
upon each other's faces
discovering treasures
they knew not before
Pregnant silence reigns
and only then
does the true dance begin
in bransles' or corantos' countered moves,
a new quiet
drowns out the din
Let it commence!
in festive air,
all attempts to hide
are in vain
Subtextual glances
and heady music
create sensual tension
profane
      The wine is flowing
smiles glowing
and soon release will
bear fruit
as the dance is danced
without inhibition
and all pretenses
start to uproot
And so it is
in poetry…
All those masks
are thrown down
the words just
                        trip
                              from beyond our lips
making magic
from adjectives and nouns
Now, our words drip upon the paper
revealing the secrets divine
our souls are coaxed out from the layers
melting your
sparkling poets' hearts
into mine

The journey
to real self-love
is not always easy
      There are so many elements
                          that can trip you up:
                            jagged rocks
                               that slightly jut out from
                              the silken, earthy surface
                            paths of black ice
                         that look clear          
    but slide you from your course
  their invisibility
only tangent
  after the fall
     light flash floods    
        that turn into monsoons
           at a moment's notice  
                                             a reflection of clear blue sky
                                                 that somehow turns
                                                    into a seemingly solid wall
                                                 But if we can hold on
                                             and somehow stay connected
         to the shining root within
       let it hold us in place like an  
      invisible anchor
         the floating umbilical cord
            that connects us
              to our inner mirror
                deep reflection
                  and resurrection
    Then we will know
     that every slip
    is truly temporary
   and only leads us to the
    improved firework
   of ourselves:
                              for nothing can stop us
No matter what
we will blossom into
the very electric flowers
we were meant to,
and, at our own
blessed pace,
     burst into
    the gentle ululation
   of
       the stars

Come play with me
         over the hills'
verdant delight
        where the sun often shines
and dark is bright
        Come take my hand
as we go under the bridge
           where the fairies glow
on the pine-scented ridge
        Let's run through the river  
and feel its flow
            as we swim naked
and the moon shines low
Run with me
         let the winds lick
                           us dry  
Let's raise our heads
                         in laughter
allow ourselves to cry
I am here for you
       through storms and hail
I won’t give up
on you
when your tempests
rage and wail
We are one in each other
              No way to reverse
even when running free
                             alone
Your script is in
                      my verse
So come, follow me
             into the wilderness              
Let's get lost there,
                   deep inside
Let's caress each other's wounds
dark secrets tell
                 with pride
You can take my tears upon
your tongue
     and I can press your palms
onto my heart
as we feel the pulse
of silent heat
that will scintillate
our
     dark

"Let's go out to play,"
you say,
and, in a spirulina flash
I'm there
The madness of our tongues
clicking and spinning
as we leap onto the
                  pavement            
running fast, now,
               holding hands
we make a dash for the forest
bound through
           tree-shadows
and soar through
             piles of leaves
I don't need to speak
for you to understand
and you only need to look
into my eyes
to know how much
I see
We lock gazes
bathe in
the halo
of our
beaming faces
and then
         we are off again
sprinting through
                 the  wilds
getting lost
             quite on purpose
dancing in our
            private body language
mixing up those ancient
and modern tongues
as one

My tears do flow
right into the stir fry
on the stove
onto the towels
as I fold laundry
behind the smile
as I place a bandage
on my little one's cut knee
I hug my children
They cannot see those salty droplets
as I think of
the exact awakening
that I am on the edge
of receiving
and now
that the chambers of your heart
take shape before
my very own
as the shy indigo of your retinas
burns its memory in my  
pair of ocean blues
and how, today,
I wanted to melt right
into the ripe,
soft knowledge
of your
smile

So,
you were right.
The textures of pain
are varied
sometimes layered
beyond understanding.
And then
it hits.
a realization
that I do not wish for
and my blood
is on simmer
with all
I could give you
yours for the having
but
all you can see
is what
you cannot have

Here is the old
Victorian table
of rich cherry-polished wood
set so nicely
for the afternoon meal
but there will be no conventional
repast today
click of locked door
clink of
utensils
upon the floor
whoosh of cloth napkins
tossed to the side
beauty of inhibitions thrown
in silent
animal pride
come to me
now
I climb on the surface,
So smooth
Let me offer you
some succulent thigh
my roundness is ready
for your consumption
and I need to devour your
deep beauty
the fire in your eyes
let it go right into me
with every bite
move towards me
as I open to you
It is time for this
luscious, tender feast
to be relished
and
consumed

I do not want
your blazing orange sunset
or the jewels of false words
to wear as a noose
around my neck
These are not treasures
Instead give me
your darkness
Open the door of pain's palm
and let me enter
For I come bearing gifts,
not tricks
press poultices that sting
then soothe
Words of gentle spikes
that slowly release and remove
those tensions,
that years of bitter
have imprinted upon the rock
of your heart
Your heart, so alive
beats steady under stone
and I pour
hot potions
that melt to the bone
This magick will cure
all of the built-up crust
of falsity's allure
and what we thought was redemption….
For all along we were loved
and just did not know it
After you are empty
and spent, sprawled upon the ground
the remnants of your pain
poured out upon the floor
like gasoline waiting to be lit
only then will I be able
to caress you tenderly
help you replenish and rebuild
place a ripe, moist date
stuffed with almond
into your kiss
and you will be able to
taste it
to the fullest volume
and appreciate
its
sweetness

Sitting near
the earthly fire
watching the flames reach up
into the primal being
of lightness
we feel heat about to encroach
and crashburn.
We might not be here 'til morning
and so we really ought
to begin:
It is time for the ritual
of gift-giving
best done
when dark forces take over
in smooth snowflake obsidian
under raging moonspells
and time that sometimes tells
in whispers of the earth-scented dance
of night creatures
I cast the first chant into
your open radar:
gush of hot metal
almost pain but not quite
you are being cleansed in black
and now must give back
passing the herbs of your tongue
onto mine
in heady tonic
an expedition
in the sear
of ghost pepper
garments are no longer
needed here
and we can now
cast them to the winds
as the ritual of
giving
only now truly
begins

I have had this aching
for a long time
            bubbling
just beneath my skin
causing me pain and longing
of the most piquant kind
tears would flow as the sting
somehow always
caught up from behind
             Now in this house
           of boulders and fire            
come to the fore
unspoken desires
I am left to stand in
front of the blaze
my hands left empty
eyes searching, a-glaze
It is overwhelming
to be almost consumed to the core
and yes, I am on the brink
of
       spontaneous
                   combustion
but before I go over the edge
there is something
I would like to say
to you
You.
who have started  
flowing through
my veins
in gentle intoxication
soothing an ancient phenomenon
that cuts through layers
of rock and stone
turning over fossils
and revealing bare bone
If in the earth's center
is made of fire
then you are coolness
Your hands
have placed balm
on the burn
and if there is a danger
that invisibility  will all-consume
then your eyes have
seen me
and my open wound
despite distance
and anti-physical resistance
some unknown force
is in bloom

I am dancing
in the night
my face turned upwards
          arms reaching to sky
drawn like a magnet
to the stars
as they burn
into my skin
my eyes
are shining into yours
as I sway
          across the floor….
These eyes are open
and seem to
penetrate the very dust
  as my heart beats              
                 desire
my solar plex,
                lust
I sway to the rhythm
and can do so on my own
but tonight
when you join me
            a strange magic unfolds
Primal beats
slowly take over
transform our
surroundings
         turn our hearts over
as we feel echoes pounding
Your gaze speaks volumes
your lips…they
barely graze mine
It is just for us,
this hot private universe
and I must say,
for the record:
It is  blowing my mind
                   So here,
in the intimate starry
backwaters of the soul
get lost with me
in our own tunnel vision
Hold me hard
  and
    release
         inhibition

A certain spring has been
emboldened
buds open
with tender care
as the tiniest of shoots
grace the branches
of my heart
fragile yet steady
I wish to coax you out
of your spiral
keep it on slow burn
show you
how to embrace the dark
I beckon you
to the open fields
to lay amongst tall grasses
and look into my eyes
unlock the secrets
to my heart
to tap that quiet wilderness
you are building
with a bang
and a spark
You boast unexpected
naughtiness
that melds with my
sass and *****
at the same time
there are mysteries
as yet unsolved
Yes, this trip
could get interesting
In the meantime
what I wish
for you to hear
my lips dare not say
because on the eve
of this new
venture…
I just
want you
to stay

You opened me up
like an ancient,
locked treasure box
brought me up
from the sea floor
dusted off
the algae that
had clung to it
all these years,
coating me with armor
That sea-dust had
protected me,
a shy, gentle maid of the sea
from the predatory dangers
that lurk in the dark
the angry barracudas, the lying sharks
Yet that filmy, misty brine
closed me off
to the glories of the ocean wonders
the smiling sea horses
the loving sonor of whales
And then you, undersea explorer
opened up the real treasure:
in shining, beating blue
my wild ocean heart
made of tides and mystic hues
and showed me
the multi-glow shimmer
of the waves
from underneath
re-introduced me
to the raging beauty of the corals
within me
Yes, it seems
that even mermaids
sweet nymphets
of ocean lore
want to love
and be loved
to the core

Take my face
between your palms
look into my eyes
and read me
let my mind imprint yours
emblazen you with  
naughty, loving thoughts
let the steam curl
up into your brain
get you high
Put your lips
on me
give me words
from your tongue
let me write on your skin
with mine
Embolden me
let the light from your
poet's eyes
inject and trip my mind

Then, knowing I am yours
feeling sure

Release me
Let me run
Let me shed inhibitions to the wind
Let them fly
As streamers of light
For I am blessed, today
I feel the power
of that untamed force
within

Within me
there are folds among folds
twisted  paths
like veins mixed
with telephone wires
some newer some old
Communication is getting dusky
then clear
I am sitting in that chair
connecting phone lines
my headphones on
communicating with
celestial bodies
The ones welling up
in my brain
They are calling to my heart
telling it to
Rise up
over the earth
take flight
lifting its frequencies
Yes a connection had been made
Yes the line between
earth and sky
fixed from being
frayed
a spectral kind of
telepathy
lets loose within me
and soon my fingers
get all tangled up
It is no longer important
which wire goes where
because we are all connected
as silver threads
among stars
and my love bursts forth
as mystic and pure
as fireflies
from a glowing
beaming
jar

In this darkest of hours
I am ready
to be lit up
like a firebrand
the liquid
heat is
already rising
way above sea level
and I am wanting
to extend out
my hand to you
take you to
my soft lair
of emotional rescue
where ecstasy
will drip from our fingers
like wine
poured onto our bodies
play soft or hard
yet keep it fair
no intention
to smash your heart
just to build you up
and take you apart
Each sweet piece
treated with care
re-polished
and put back into place
renewed rejuvenated
just as you will participate
in my tribal dance
and make me
glow
I will become
one with yours,
my ebb,
your flow

My Heart,
a pulsing red mass of veins
and arteries
surrounded by golden auras of emotion…
yes that…
It is peeled back
to the core
and once, again,
I lift myself off the floor
broken by my own doing
wanting the potential of more
I am so ready to be taken
my flesh incarcerated into yours
I am so ready for love
to cherish and be adored
Right now I feel sore and bruised
my marriage bed
empty in its occupation
I am raw
with longing
torn up in frustration
Beats of love pulse through me
wanting to be expressed
longing for release
for give and take
at its best
I want those rhythms
to freshly enter my soul
and, though maddened by my
                               own derelict passion
know freedom is my goal

One day, I whisper to myself, rocking
the crimson ***** tenderly,
One day this will come
This ever full love I deserve
In the meantime
I rise, and fall, and rise again
My heart's ancient descent
into self-knowledge
and care
so expertly preserved

My heart
     unpeels itself
in slow motion
    ribbons elegantly drift
  to the floor
once again  I am entrapped
           in a butterfly dance  
as I move towards connection
         entrapped in a cage
of my own building
           stewn all over
like carnival confetti
         utter joy at the beginning
a true celebration
        and then…the explosion
a fissured opening as
painful as a birth
I am all at once
A part of the cracked
                 and steaming earth
In the darkest corners of my mind,
I search rooms at a
mysterious party
as if in a dream
Who do I look for?
I pass each space
Couples on beds
   in their thrusts of passion
beckon me to join
Despite my burning up
I ignore
I know that I must reach
The open field
  sit in sweet solitude
place my hands upon the runes
of my heart
explore its mysteries
and then
only after I am sated
by my own passionate
embrace of mind
only then,
with fire in my eyes,
will I be able
to run freely
to you

In this restless desert
things are not as
dry as they seem
for after the plentiful rains
the temporal grass has spread
as quick and alive as wildfire
Looking velvety to the touch,
it waves in synchronicity
as the wind sweeps through
its sharp blades
like a tender stroke of hair
from a lover
wildflowers peep
their heads of color
over the shoots
in vibrant frequencies:
       crimson, yellow, purple
I want to run through them
festoon them upon
my queenly being
not actually touching them
just reveling
in their existence
I want to become vested
in the accoutrements
of simplicity
wear them upon
my essence
in tiny points
of effervescent love
particles of colored joy
that mark me with pointillism
so that when I am sitting
in the cold lonely of the night
I can embrace them
in their royal glory
and be caressed by
the loyalty
      of their
           spark

Here
in the solitude
of my darkness
emotion causes
temporary blindness
I dive deep into the layers
of blanketed black
covering myself
for comfort
the stars sparkle to me
in their own language
yet I cannot hear them
for the rush in my ears
my heart
stirs beneath my chest
as my sword stays in scabbard
fires in the brush
leave their embers
I take some cinders and
slash them over
my cheeks
to match this inner night
with purity
try to still the
murky waters
of my being
and then
in one outpour of dark vessel
I am flooded
the scent of blood
in the air
the taste of tears
upon my tongue
and..Hush!
the night is gone but for
the candle's
second-long
flicker

"Help!" she screamed.
"I'm on fire!"
But the blaze was from within
ignited by passion's light
on the way to heavenly sin
Hair a-glow
Eyes sparkling
each chakra lit up
in color
resembling the flash
of neon lights'
reflections upon each other
but this illumination
was much deeper and bright
this kindling of spirit
a vivification  set a-light
a mindfire tuned to rivet
Yes she is waking up
after years of deepest slumber
she is finally releasing to the winds
old dreams,
tattered
ripped a-sunder
They flapped on the laundry line
were torn in pieces by the storms
So is it not surprising
That now she is re-born?
Is it not to be expected
That she weaves a brand new
song
made from her inner fabric
and soon it won’t be long
that those fine-spun silks
start twirling up
dancing in the air
as her fire keeps on burning
and passion rides
her flare





"

By the time you catch
up with me
I will be just spinning
out of your orbit
as joyous as a comet
fire on my tail
I am whirling
into my own cosmic vortex
approaching other stations
New galaxies
await me
with open arms
Even if all are not
immediately friendly
I have laser detectors
with bits of solar and lunar
wisdom
information I have tenderly gathered
while on my stay
in this sphere
Now celestial pulses
surround my aura
create a whirling halo
of all that is divine
My heart flies
on a this heavenly journey
upwards to the stars
You cannot stop me
from being the woman
I have become
The Woman I will be
who I am destined
to rise into
Now this space traveler
is finding her new orbit
No barriers for me
for I am floating, ever surely
drifting in my own private
navigation
closely directed
yet free

Currents
of electricity
tiny pulses that
barely roll off
my skin
my skin, shivering
not from cold
only vibrations
just under
your lips
that are near me,
not touching
your eyes on me,
slaking thirst
your stare
penetrating
your hands
in the space of thickness that grows
between flesh
up against the wall,
breaking it down
the heat that opens up
between us
is like lava
and its liquid
pulls me in
then
all is a rush
my cheeks in pink blush
in this private universe
just our breathing
pulse quickening
tiny tongue curls
wetness melting
I am a pillar of fire
your touch the slow burn
as I writhe upon
this stake of desire
imprinting my loneliness
with your need
stirring up my inner forces
with the power
of your
          giving

Sometimes loneliness wraps me like a cloak
drapes me and protects me
yet blocks the light from coming in
and I wish so much to untie it
release it to the wind
let it fall from my body
but it sticks
And I cry
Oh I cry
My tears upon its fabric
staining its silken black
but
this black is lined with the red of fire
and this red is my inner flame
a flame that never goes out
whether in spirals of joy
        or the jagged sharp lines of pain
and I know that no matter how much
it hurts me
to feel so deeply
this burning lust for life
will never wane

My heart
raises itself
to libation
Yes, in the night air
I offer myself
to the ones above
An offering of my being
to my soul
from my soul
a communication
so pure, so bright
that I cannot see
for the luminance
Instead, inner vision
guides me
through shaded density
     Once, I could not see through
this dark overgrowth
twisted vegetation thick
tight vines wove their way
up and around my ribcage
and took over my heart
suffocating the spirals
my breath ragged
Now the floodgates have opened
My inner garden beckons to me
      calling for tender care
I am open to the newness
of color of flora as yet undiscovered
exotic realms of fluidity
colors unnamed
for they do not yet exist
They wait for me to
              tap into their beauty
as I await the rainbow
after the storm
in splashes of vibrational joy
I sling my quiver into place
tie on the boots of resolution
No food is needed…the nourishment
shall seed from within
Twirling paths before me
will no longer draw me into
whirlpools of smothering
because I am ready to take it on
heated clamor, tornado chaos
monsoon frenzy

I enter the beige sands of time
the cracks and dry patches
slowly filling up with blessed waters
Filling me up with the beauty of
                             a new sparkling
As inner knowledge
thrusts up and out
ripping through old skin
creating new
revealing inner treasures
rough jewels
I  don my
soft armor,
calling upon the stars
Their trajectory illuminates my way
through the dark
for this is only the beginning
and I am ready
            to ride
               the light

I wanted to dive
into this roaring river of crystal
but my own reflection
prevented me
Instead of
depth
I
got surface resistance
bruises, cuts for good measure,
until I called upon distance
to wrap me in its
ribbons of healing
and stop this
nonstop rush overflow
of feeling

I learned that
the only way through
was to calmly,
humbly
let it soften
as a freeze thaws
as time must heal
to wade through the rocks
stones under my heels
to let coolness fill me
to let the ice melt
to have it soothe
the burns the scratches
the welts
In order to
reach those depths
one must penetrate
see beyond glassy
armor
feel the actual beats
as the pulse gets warmer
and this heart beats strong,
red and true
flesh and pure blood
fiery and blue
I know that one day
this pain will pass
in this heart
made of crystal,
this heart
made of glass