I can't help but cry
I think about the distance
And the next time I'll see you again
I don't know the exact date or time
But my lips miss you
Like my lungs need air after being under water for so long
I'm suffocating without the scent of you
Without the taste of you
I want to hear your voice
Not just over the phone
But whispering in my ear
I miss the warmth of your breath
And the smell of your hair
Life without you is so dull
There are no colors around me
Only worry and fear are the emotions I feel
I want to be with you
I have to be with you
5,000 miles with an ocean between us
I am afraid of a future without you
I'm confused and puzzled as to why this had to be so complicated
Why us
Why were we cursed with the terrible luck of finding love in someone who lives so far away
It almost seems impossible to maintain
But what's even more impossible is living a life without you
It's unimaginable
I would wait forever
Just for a single day with you

Missing you stings my heart
Now I know why they say love hurts
Loving you is the easiest thing
And the hardest thing
I've ever had to do
I know you're the one for me
Because with you,
I am able to breathe better, easier
I don't get choked up on life anymore
Rather just choked up when I think of all the cheesy things I think about you
Sappy, yet true
If my passion for you was to be a color
It would be gold
Bright like the sun
Everlasting and precious
It is easy to love you because you make me feel at home
It is hard to love you because you are so far from home
I want to make a new home with you
I miss you

The good thing about boyfriends
Is that they have no emotions

All these girls are so high strung
Makes me feel like they're less fun

So many points of view
So many arguments
All I want is to just chill
No more backhanded compliments

Guys kick back, relax
It's not a big deal
Let's kiss, laugh, drink
Loving what we feel

Do you want love
Or do you want passion
Do they always come together
Or just in small rations

Do you want drama
Do you want sensitivity
Do you want strength
Do you want security

A personal dilemma
When trying to discover
What you want in life
What you will uncover

Spending your love on something and it goes unnoticed
You're pushed to the edge and then start to lose focus
You don't know where things might have gone wrong
Because all along you thought you were strong
You try your hardest, you do your best
But all you're left with is pure unrest
You begin to feel worthless
You are ridden with stress
Love seems lost now
So take back your vow
It doesn't mean anything anymore

I hate every part of me
I hate going through life that way
I stay awake in the middle of the night
While everyone else is asleep
I sit in a puddle of self loathing

I have no desire to speak to anyone
No desire for that at all
I'm a prison in my own home
I don't want them and they don't want me
What a terrible life to lead

Everyone is finding fault with me
They're always so disappointed
Makes me feel worthless and stupid
Why should I try any longer
I gave up a long time ago

My blood is my refuge
If anybody knows my pain is real, it is me
It is never something they can take away
It is all that I have, the scars and the darkness
Without it, I'm lonely

Don't sit there and tell me that I'm fine
That I have it made
None of that means **** when I'm holding this blade
Your pointless words and hateful glares
The most perfect triggers

Thank you for bringing me closer to my pain
And further away from you