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Little Bear Jun 2016
King of the park is my little paper lion
he struts his stuff like he owns the world
prowls and growls
rubbing and snubbing
while he eats from is little pink bowl
But he is KING!!
king in his own back yard
his eyes amber and black
as he stealthily creeps
beautifully lean
prowling unseen
dangerously mean
ever so fluffy
and oh so virile
so powerful too
leaving his mark
rubbing the bark
so very King!
'So watch me human,
watch me be magnificent
as i pounce on this butterfly'

"yes.. you are a magnificient derp nugget"
Oh but he does have a nasty streak
attack and retreat
spitting and clawing
meowing and mawing
as his grey fur stands on end
and bristles
like a bottle brush
and the lazy lion thing
is lazily lounging
after a busy night on the town
spreading his affection
in every direction
he is now king of the chair
king of the cushion
he is declared triumphantly
throughout the land
fanfare please
"THE SOFA KING .. all hail the SOFA KING!"(annoying feline)
oh dear.. my little paper lion..
believing he is king
king of the jungle
'But i am king!
aren't i human?
okay well,
just of the park maybe
but i am a little bit king- ish.... aren't i?'
silly little pouty McWhiskerface
what a pity
fluffy little kitty
just make your self pretty
pouting and sulking
"Now that is no way for a king to behave
now let me fluff your cushion
*while you drink your milk and eat your Dreamies"
If you have a cat you will understand :o3
Haha i have no idea where i was going with this, some of it rhymes, some of it doesn't.. bit of a mess really..oh well.
But it is all completely how our cats are..
our little paper lions... :o)
Little Bear Jun 2016
I remember a time when he would come home.

And i remember that, you must stand at the door and welcome him home like you are happy, don't forget to be happy.
Tea was always ready and the house would be clean and tidy because it should be, you wanted it to be, and woe betide you if it wasn't.
And then, when tea was finished, he wanted his beer and the tv on
and now you mustn't talk because you shouldn't.
So the kitchen was tidied and everything was just so..
you mustn't forget to make it just so.
But you know the time is coming where the beer is all gone and the match would be lost and the anger would flare.
That's when you want to become invisible but you can't
because he needs to punch something and well..
you're as good as any door.
So after the room was cleaned up and the broken glasses and lip was put away, it was time for bed..
And you can't pretend to be asleep because that doesn't count
as a no.

Thankfully there was a little glow in the dark star on the ceiling you could look up at and wish upon it that you weren't in this room, in this bed right now. I think the people who lived there before left it behind. I knew that if i moved i would take it with me.

And the need to run was immense. But there was no where to go and nobody knew and, after all, it was the way of things, don't complain.. it could be worse.. remember that.. it could be worse.. he said.

I often dreamed of a tiny little bed all of my own with fairy lights and my own place to put my books, but that would have to wait as now is not the time to think of such a silly notion. Stupid ***** that you are.

And so each and every night, i painted the roses red.. so i didn't loose my head.

And running wasn't really an option because, contrary to popular opinion, that is harder than you think.. after all... this was normal and... this is just what happens and... this is just one of those things and... **** it up buttercup, now clean the house again you stupid ****.

And in the gaslighting, which burned very bright, you would have enough of a glow to paint the roses red.
Perfectly red, everyday they would have to be red.

And life carried on for years like this and my friend, the little glow in the dark star and i were the only ones who knew what 'behind closed doors' really meant.

Inevitably children were born into this world of mine, and you can't say no to no contraception, because the need to see his fertility bloom was the most important thing in the world.
Most important.

But i was indeed blessed with more than an armful of joy.

And so we all painted the roses red and in time, we all wondered, which one of us would loose our head.

We moved house and the years passed as they normally do with various reasons to run and threats that made us stay.
But you never run..  because now he might **** you all,
and not just you.
If it was just you, you wouldn't have minded so much...

So we moved house and the little glow in the dark star came along too. It was placed near the light fitting over the bed and i put my finger to my lips and said 'shhh' as i stuck it to the ceiling.
But we knew.

And so, for a few more years you carry the weight of the world, the little secret, and a heart full of love, and begin painting the roses red with your children.
And now you definitely can't leave and you can't run because they might loose their heads and now, now you might have to watch.. while you get to keep yours.

And then a tide turned, well, four tides turned, and damage was being done that my love could not repair.
And that is when i had to be brave and i had to do what i should have done many years before.
I was conditioned to suffer along side and this was normal.
Not that any of that is an excuse.
And although i knew it wasn't right, i knew it was normal.. for me.

A contradiction if ever there was.

But my love for my children will always be far greater, greater than my love for any one else could ever be. Even if it was their flesh and blood.
And him saying we couldn't leave now did not count as a no.
But we didn't leave.
We made him pack his things and go. We had found safety in numbers, we all stood and were counted, we exposed only what secrets needed to be told.
The rest we keep for ourselves.
He never said sorry and he left. And never came back.

So we kept some of the red paint and we added orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. And we painted all of our roses any **** colour we wanted to. Including ourselves.

And I took down the little glow in the dark star, it had seen far too much and probably needed therapy :o)  

And we will live happily forever after.
Oh so very simplified. All i know is, you do what you have to to get by, and when the tide turns.. do what you must.
Little Bear Jun 2016
My head doesn't fit my shoulders today
feels like it belongs to someone else
someone who's asleep.. or dead
because this one is full of cotton wool and candy floss
and doesn't work properly
maybe it's the brain inside
there must be lots of room in there
because it's all over the place
thoughts here, thinking there,
mind wandering every ****** where
i can't grasp a single thought and see what it is
not one of them will stay still long enough
for me to hold it to the light and say
"ah yes... i should be doing " ...**** i forget
everything just slips through the cracks and nothing holds fast
i've lost brain cells somewhere i'm sure of it ..
you know.. the ones that make the brain work properly
probably in my bed
or has slipped down behind the nightstand
all i can think of is how much i can't think straight
i know i am always a little bit 'Phoebe'
always a little quirky.. odd maybe
i can't help that
and i don't always think in a straight line anyway
but i need my own head today
i have a very busy day ahead .. i think
probably..
but my head is full of cotton wool and candy floss
and my mind..
it's just not there.
Little Bear Jun 2016
Where are you?
I am here my love
and I'm not leaving
it's so quiet*
I can't hear you
I wont leave you to the silence
I won't leave you
I am here
where am I?
You are here with me
let me take you home
I won't leave you to fight this battle alone
I will fight with you
I have to go
No.. don't go into the silence with out me
Take me with you
Don't go in to the silence alone
I will bring you home
Don't leave me..
My love
I'm not leaving you
for the demons to feast
Where am I ?
Can you hear me?
I am here
I am here
I am strong enough for us both
I will carry you
just let me take your hand
and I will take you home
I'm frightened
my sweet child
my broken child
lost in the wilderness
I will find you
I am here
I can't seem to find
my way home
just open your eyes my love
look and see
I will save you
I promise
But how can you save me?
Because that's all I know how to do
I will bare the silence
and the raging noise
I will take your place
I will take your place
Please find me
.. I am lost
I know you are lost
but I will find you
Please
my child
my love
please take my hand
let me take you home


https://soundcloud.com/rachael-435397529/let-me-take-you-home
So.. i did a soundcloud thing.. probably a bit ******* and VERY amateur. Please don't expect it to be wonderful lol
it is completely not wonderful.
Little Bear Jun 2016
I spy with my little eye
somethin' begining with me
thinkin' you're all that
lets just wait and see
takes a real good kickin'
to really get me down
I punch above my weight
and swim so I don't drown
take a nice big bite
chew it nice and slow
last orders mate
It's time for you to go
don't just ******' stand there
wantin' a reach around
sup up sunshine
this time your goin' down
don't come at me all balshy
pushin' me around
six feet's a good depth
you won't make a sound
so step into my parlour
and we'll have a little 'chat'
tell mummy you ain't home for  tea
cos you ain't coming back
My Dad grew up in a rough part of London in the 50's and 60's and early 70's, everyone of that era claims to have know the Krays. Funny thing is, most of them probably did, or at least knew of the trouble that went on. This is inspired by thinking of my Dad a lot lately. Going through photos with my Mum and talking with my very elderly Aunt.. ******.. don't tell her i said that...
I would never talk to anyone like this lol.
My Dad... He was as hard as nails, built like a brick ******* and loved me with all his heart <3
Little Bear Jun 2016
you are the most beautiful music there is
every verse tells a story
of a full life
a lover
a fighter
a gentle heart
a battle fought
and lost

the chorus sings
of love and hope
of death and loss
finding your way
forgiveness and regret

and no matter the words
no matter the melody
no matter how quietly
you still sing your beautiful song

the song is you
so sing your heart out
and never forget how to dance
never forget you own this song
it's yours to sing
so sing it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4W11rp6UYpM
Little Bear May 2016
I'm going to close my eyes
and step away
for a little while at least.
It is my fervent hope
that i have walked gently
among your poems.
And with all my heart
i hope i have never kicked up the dust
made a fuss
nor been unkind.
I can only hope that my words were enough,
whether it be an "oh that's lovely"
to a " ******* you're a genius"...
i hope they were enough.
I think i will come back...
maybe
probably
i don't know.
All i do know is that
this fluffy little bear
is going on an adventure.
“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”
(Haldir of Lothlorien - Fellowship of the Ring - J.R.R Tolkien.. Hell yeah)
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