I am a lonely narcissist,
In a fit, in a struggle,
And straining to exist.

The almonds are sugared,
The potatoes: starched.
A hipster-dream
Of third-world colours,
Stretched out on my back,
And lamenting the distance of stars.

Bumper caravans of **** and cherry cola vacations;
They fill my mind in the coming of summer.
There’s beer bottled tears
And eyes left bloodshot,
In this fevered remission
To a life we forgot.

But change, is change, is change;
I’m listening to jazz and not heavy guitar,
And my teenage lover is a sacrificed cathedral
In the laying down of all arms.

Still, I’m looking to stay sober
For a week or so, or more.
But another day, year or era to come;
For now I’ll just get up and off the floor.

I’m self-obsessed but devoid of self,
In a rigid flow of car window reflections;
A body check to see if my shadow still exists.

How much does a shadow weigh?
But first: where can you get me some blow?
You see, I need to sharpen up my ambition,
To thaw out in the frozen snow.

It can’t be long, old friend,
Before one of us succumbs to addiction.
A ****** jaw, or a healer’s mouth;
Well, I guess that either can offer
A place for us to mend.

I think I see my life now.
Its purple light is cast off in the distance.
I am coming off chemo
For a couple weeks more,
I am combing the meadows,
And I am asking for more.

I can right now
jump in front
of a car
and end my life
and I'll stop
existing
it'll take me
from getting
out of this house
to going out into
the busy street
to never exist again
and I'm ******* scared
I'm so ******* scared
because I don't know
what will be after
and I don't want
to be nothing
after I tried so hard
to be something


-k.s

along through  
this urban sunrise
on  well paved sidewalks
family dog in tow
when we  spied  
a bevy of bodacious
blossomed   beauties
breaking  free
from this block's uniformity
spilling nonchalantly
over a broken cedar fence
for all passers by to see
on the way to  retrieve
our mail  
from tiny locked boxes

Apply yourself,
Apply yourself,
Or you’ll sleep on the streets all by yourself.
Don’t ask silly questions; don’t try to scrape by,
Apply yourself this time.

Try yourself,
Try yourself,
No matter the hurdles inside yourself.
Forget the drinking, the hunger, the pain,
Try yourself again.

Push yourself,
Push yourself,
We think the stress won’t **** yourself.
Just go to a college outside of your league,
Through a stifling program to get your degree.
But if you fail, you must be lazy;
Push yourself like crazy.

Stay strong!
Stay strong!
Let go of your thoughts that, “This system is wrong,”
Or, “9 months is too long,”
Or, “Crack makes me King Kong,”
Or, “Should I use needle or stick with the ****?”
Silly, such thoughts, with no motivation,
People today have no innovation.

Help yourself,
Help yourself,
When you’re in the church all by yourself,
Your mom’s in a coffin, your dad’s in a grave,
Your sister and mister both passed away.
And then a man (more hardworking than you),
Comes in and kills you, right in the pew,
Blood seeps out and you sleep evermore…
Listen to us or be one with the poor.

beware when you fall in love
with an artist
be it a painter, a singer, or poet

for the artist will
paint you
with strokes and hues
in shapes of every kind

sing about you
with heartbreak lyrics
and feelings which rhyme

write about you
with the simplest words
and a secret message she wants to say

beware of the artist,
and her love
one wrong move
and you're an artwork in her display

I cut myself on the future
I thought of kissing your picture
I detached myself from
lullabies and sorry eyes
only to realize:

I want to make love to you in November,
just before the empty of December.
Where snow blankets
and suffocating leaf-beds
aren't the only dreams
to fall asleep in our heads.

I could hear your voice trip
as my hands started to drip
around your hips and thighs-
You could tranquilize
with your lips and byes.

You look so sleepy-headed
Many words I have threaded
to weave a dream
desperately
but you prefer my
reality.