**** it
I'll go home
Soon as I’m ******
What’s another night on my own?

Let these wandering feet take me wherever they may go
No peace at home
Or within my bones
I never pick up the phone
But I wait all night
Hoping to get these words right
Like someone else just might
Ask me what I have to say
And just like every other day
The chance slips away
They say
It’s never been the problem
But how we face it
And let's face it
There’s no changing this
Starting to think I’m better off wasted
So I don’t have to face this
Take a bottle to the face
No chaser
I swear to you
This isn't her
She’s just a little unsure
Feeling impure
And increasingly insecure
About nothing in particular
Have you noticed how she avoids the mirror?
Is that any way to live life
A prisoner of your own fear?
Distancing yourself from all you hold dear
Just in case the end is near
This much is clear
You’ll never escape strife if you can’t put down the knife
You’ll never know love if you can’t rise above
Forgive yourself for the things you can’t control
Or it will start to take its toll
Like poison to the soul
You’ll never feel whole
Until someone passes you the bowl
And you start to tumble down the rabbit hole
With no control over where you’ll go
Time moves slow
Thoughts flow to and fro
Comes and goes
Highs and lows
Either way
I know
I’ll end up in bed
Alone
******
Listening to these headphones
Humming along to a melody that no one knows

I wish I could turn off the city lights and dim the stars
Lock away my mind behind steel bars
Maybe if I pause the world
The ache of living will slowly fade from my bones
What if sleep is the only time I ever feel at home
And lately taking breaths to stay has become the hardest task
All I ever seem to do is look back
My heart may be pumping
But I can’t feel the beat
It’s the murmur of a hummingbird's wings, soft and discreet
I seem quiet
Yet my thoughts run deep
How many of us feel incomplete
So many young minds already succumb to defeat
I know I can’t be the only one
These are the things that my friends don’t say
But I see them slowly fade away
Slip into another day
Of just trying to make it by
The only way we cope is by getting high
Is this what it means to be alive or do we just survive?
Did someone with a capital “S” put us here?
If so, who and why?
Are we all just born to die?
Why should we even try?
Tell me you think about these things too
I know that you do
We are the fragile youth with nothing to lose
And everything to gain, if only we were not afraid
Never of death, but the in between
Dealing with broken dreams and trying to stitch up the seams
The scars will always show, this much I know
It is up to us to choose if we grow

Red, blue
and violet
Inside my mind, there is a riot
Gun fire
Bursts of desire
Will I rise higher
Or come crashing down
I always felt like I was meant for more than this town
But how can I escape
Design my own fate
When these walls I cannot break
If only I could reach out and take
My future
Pull it towards me so I can be there sooner
Oh, the irony
I want to escape reality
The painter of this picture is me
Too blind to see
I didn't even look at the canvas
Should have kept a steady hand
Scribbled all over it
Didn't give a ****
Now I’m left wondering who I am
Let myself decay
But I don’t want to waste away another day
So to myself I say, it is time for change
I have to rearrange the order of my brain
So things don’t remain the same
Gotta change my aim
Relight my flame
If life is just a game
I want to at least say I played
No longer will I sit out or be filled with self doubt
I’m going to love myself now
Or at least try
Life goes by in the blink of eye
If then ten year old me walked on by
Would they sigh or wonder why
I never tried
I never tried
I’m trying to look on the bright side
Always there will be high and low tides
All fears I must cast aside
The time has come to do more than just sit by
I want to see a change worldwide
So I have to start inside

A rising tide
Nationwide
To wash away this great divide

Change is constant
Even when we have lost it
Our souls, our bodies
No longer clinging to meaningless hobbies
The only thing guaranteed
In a world full of greed
All warnings we did not heed
Taking without need
Corrupted images destroying self esteem
We should be working as a team
To undo the damage
Of the rich man's rampage
Stealing resources
Wars on false pretenses
Thinking about the future makes me tense
So many of my friends already have their mind set
"Having a family, that's what's best"
Why would I want to bring another life into this
An innocent soul
You're supposed to protect
shape
and mold
Truth be told
I am not that bold
Although your hand I would love to hold
I dare not bring another fragile human into a world so cold

I have never taken a blade to my wrist
These thoughts cut me deeper than any knife
Lately I can’t shake this feeling that I’ll never get anything right
So what is the point when you don’t believe in yourself?
If you can’t, how can anyone else?
I've been staring at the same walls for three years
I can’t seem to overcome this fear
That my best is not good enough
Can you be too ***** to love?
When others shine so bright
How could anyone choose my light?
Happiness comes but it always leaves so soon
I’d rather stay in
Lock myself in this room
Stare at the ceiling
And think of you
You’re so ******* good and I want to be good too
But I am just a cliché
With too many flaws
You deserve porcelain skin and delicate jaws
So should I push away or fade away
Blend into shades of black and grey
Slow down time
Slip from my mind
Yet always you remain
Even when the last wisp of smoke escapes my lungs
I can still taste your name on my tongue