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Lauren Ehrler Oct 2016
It was all so new
Like the shine on shoes
When I was with you

And it was hard to contain
All of the pain
I felt inside my brain

But I did

So when we came
To this new game
I was almost ashamed

And you surprised me
When you didn't flee
And tried to love me

But it wasn't enough

Pain seeped out
And sent confusion about
I felt so lonely in my drought

I shoved it aside
To look out side
Myself and tried

But it wasn't enough

Were you dying
While I was crying
From this drying?

True meanings lead astray
And I'll continue to pray
Each and everyday

But is it enough?
Thoughts of an unloved soul....
  Oct 2016 Lauren Ehrler
mikev
i can't sit on a swing without
thinking of you -
it's the way the wind
hits my face - at least, we still
both breathe the same air -
i tell myself
You're not a kid anymore.
i can't just eat sweets until i get sick -
i can't take a trembling drag of a cigarette
by the bathroom window without
crashing halfway though a psychosis -
i - can tell you where down is, though
*** was only a mere satisfaction....
I craved for something deeper...

to hear her.... to listen to every word ever spoken
and to comprehend every thought, to understand the meaning of every course of action she takes
and to unwrap the origins of what she has become
I crave it.... to understand the choices she makes
and the consequences behind it
to gaze into her eyes and to dance with her soul
to comprehend her happiness, her pain
her joy and freedom
and to slowly dissect her brain with the scalpels
of my ears and voice and for her to do the same....
that is the satisfaction that I crave....

*** is only a mere satisfaction....
I crave for something deeper....
Lauren Ehrler Sep 2016
How can your mind speak,
when you heart is screaming?
How can you be rational,
when insanity is around the corner?
How can you focus,
when you soul dies?

Where is there peace,
in all of the war?
Where is there love,
in all of the hate?
Where is there order,
in all of the chaos?

Why is there hope,
with so much doubt?
Why is there good,
with so much bad?
Why is there something,
with so much nothing?

Who is with you,
when no one else is?
Who is rational ,
when they are insane?
Who is organized,
in the chaos?

Who is good,
when everything is bad?
Who is at peace,
when war is everywhere?

Who is focused,
when their soul is dying?
Who is thinking,
when their heart is crying?
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