will you still love me
if I don't smile today?
if my tears fall like raindrops
and my world tears at the seams?
if my voice breaks when I talk
and I seek the comfort of dreams?

will you still love me
if I don't cheer up today?
if I sit rigid in silence
and spend the whole day in bed?
if I find solace in cigarettes
and don't keep myself fed?

will you still love me
if I don't laugh today?
if I keep my thoughts hidden
and don't say what I mean?
if I curl up in darkness
and stare at a screen?

will you still love me
if I don't calm down today?
if my patience wears thin
and snaps like a thread?
if my eyes no longer sparkle
and are absent instead?

will you still love me
if I don't smile today?

How strange
Is the Autumn rain

As it all falls down
In October

you are the fire
burning in my heart

and on a lonely winter night
there is only desire

a candle bleeds wax
as you watch.

it drips, drips down
like the frost on your heated windows.

can you see my face as you look in a little closer

feel my rosy-cheeks
they are not red in heat

do you know of desire?

tell me about the fire.

Within my fallen body,
Roots will thrive.

And in them, I am alive.

As old as my arms reach,
They will bare the fruit of all that has come before me.

I shall feed to the next generation of disciples,
The sugars that are born from this forgotten language.

And there we will all rise,
as we flow back down the river line.

my emotions lurch
like a boat in a storm;
violent and unrelenting.
the time has come
to abandon ship
and sink to the inky depths
*calm at last

I yearn for something long gone in the depths of the future;
Not able to place a finger on its familiarity.

Discovering what is already known
Can be a clarifying process of redundancy.

When a step forward feels like a tumble backward
Toward the inevitable direction of it all.

When a puzzle forms around me
I stand there, inert.

The challenge beckons me further. It calls me closer,
Etching itself deeper into my path.

Smiling at the fantasy of completion on the other side,
A field of emotional mishaps rains down before me.