No one ever taught you that failure was ok, that’s why you stare at an empty page day after day;
hoping to create something someone will accept.

No one ever told you that you didn’t have to earn his affection,
that’s why you text him back to back,
correcting your “mistakes” from the days before when he didn’t reply; telling yourself you’re too much that’s why he hates you,
but still doing more than he will ever deserve.

No one ever told you that love and art isn’t ever perfect,
that’s why you’ve thrown away your journals and your sketchbooks,
that’s why you block him even though he says he wants you too.
You’ll just never understand any of it and why it just can’t be... what it’s all “supposed” to be

It's said that it takes seven years for your body to replace its cells.
Memories die.
They wither away;
become unexplained hints of familiarity in a stranger's face.
Scars are replaced by renewed skin. Bruises disappear, erased as though by magic.

My body is a eulogy for your touch.
You were a merciless lover. You scratched your name into my skin. Your teethmarks are still imprinted on my tongue. The bruises, around my throat.
"Here lies he who commands my breath".
My lungs are still learning to forgive you. My muscles are still learning to forget you.

It's been four months and two weeks. I can feel the ghost of you restless, haunting my flesh. It wails at night and I still cry myself to sleep,
longing for dead things to remain dead.

She devours him; she tears at his flesh. The pieces of him that remain she wears on her chest. She sharpens his bones into spears and wears his teeth around her neck like her mother's pearls.

She is unforgiving and unforgettable; she belongs to no one and everyone all at once. She claims the sun and the sea. She owns the earth and her slaughtered lovers beneath it.

And in her stillness; in the quiet moonlit nights, she revels in the loneliness; in the mix of being both loved and feared.

you smell of whiskey and smoke
your hands are stained with black ink
you forget the simplest things
you're a terrible dancer
you're afraid of nothing and everything all at once
I can tell when you're lying, you always hesitate
you get angry too quickly; it scares me but never because I'm afraid you'd hurt me
you chew loudly
you are wild and unrepentant
your laughter is filled with sincerity
your jokes are always cheesy
you never fail to make me smile
you have made me cry
you make me worry
you're full of courage and whiskey.
I love you. I love you. I love you.

I heard it in your voice that you didn't mean it when you told me you love me.

She wears a red dress and is made of mystery.
You'll swear you never see her out the corner of your eye; you'll never hear her whisper as she walks past.
She'll appear to you in the simplest of ways.
A crooked smile; laughter carried over a crowded bus terminal.
Restless fingers tapping against the steering wheel of a not-so-strange stranger's car.
She's subtle in her way.
She makes time stand still with her beauty on display,
and you're afraid that if you look at her too long you'll fall in love with her.
You're afraid because you know loving her would mean sacrifice.
She demands that you love without sight; and sense.
So you'll cut out your tongue and pluck out your eyes.
She'll build a home in your chest;
She'll empty the graves, the ones you buried your lovers in,
in the cemetery behind your ribcage.
She'll dig them out.
She'll leave them on display.
She'll paint their faces to hide the rot; she'll stretch their lips into familiar smiles that resemble adoration.
She'll guide their hands to caress your bones,
And you'll find yourself loving the company.
You'll find that you've fallen in love with what is dead.

You were such a selfish lover.
You demanded that I give you time and I stopped the clock for you.
You asked for my dreams and I got lost in sleep for you.
You told me to speak less and I sewed my lips shut for you.
You said I should try harder and I broke sweat for you.
I gave my back as bridge, my knees bruised, my throat sore, my hands ****** from all the demons you had me slaughter for you.
I gave you everything and you left me,
claiming it wasn't enough.