U touch my knee
Plus near my face
Like we could kiss
I don't like you
Ur gay queer
So I  should a smacked
You right then
So hard to leave behind
A red mark
Yet I was to inferior
.. I am a girl not suppose to hit back
Be all girly

I had never met a man
Who kissed my insecurities,
Tended my distorted perceptions,
And traced lips across my scarred skin.

I was worthy to be lavished upon.
In your eyes, I was more than a trophy.
My figure was temptful but valued;
Every penny was well-spent.

You brought back what should have been.
My previously unmet expectations
Brought my hopes down;
Your gentleness built them back up again.

We may not have worked out...
But your pursuit taught me a lesson:
I am lovely and fine with being "incomplete"
Three adventurous months with you... were enough for me.

There is a void outside my window.
Pitch cascading into itself.
No. I am mistaken.
It is just night.
Someone was knocking on my door at some point.
Nipah. Nipah.
Nevermind.
A curious hollow groan runs through the house.
Perhaps a tap is being turned.
Hiss.
A moth catches in a stream. Wet dust clambers for existence, affirmed in the moment of death.
Sometimes it escapes.
There is a glow.
A streetlamp lights up the void, strong enough to reveal a small part of the world, but too weak to remove the grain. The noise of existence.
Blood rushes through vessels. Neurons fire.
Silence is merely the body experiencing itself. The self subverted into the other.
Oh. I have slept through the day.
A train rumbles in the distance, sonorous and bleak.
A bird cries out into the void.
Nothing responds.
A miasma blankets the city.
The choke of lack.

I'm sending all my prayers to you
I'm hoping they'll one day come true
Through waking life and in my dreams
A strange concept, I know it seems
For I don't practice what I preach
In daily life prayers I don't speak
Today it seems all I can do
Is send all of my prayers to you.


© Karen L Hamilton, 2014

New home, new road
New life, new leaf
New page for me
To place my feet

New dreams, new hopes
New thoughts, new goals
Or are they old
Just like 'new' gold?

Gleaming, polished
And sparkling,
They're fitting like
The perfect ring

They've swept me up
And pulled me in,
Right here, right now
My life begins




© Karen L Hamilton,  January 2016