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Your crooked smile flows upward
and I can see it from the ground.
Haunting myself with
a film teacher's creature feature
in black and white,
an old orchestra for sound.

You said you'd get nervous
when on our clunky telephone;
saying that customer service
could hear the fibers
in your voice
rustle like tall, dry grass,
with a wind whispering through
confirming, with every breath,
that you feel alone.

We'd recite fifties sitcoms:
Honey, do you --
do you have the keys?
Well, gee whillikers,
I could use someone to
open me, close me, and
dispose of me, please.

I write this for no one,
which is the category you fall in.

Sincerely,
signed Issues,
P.S. The television
is in color,
and I don't miss you.

- There ain't hope in the U,
the S is for Show me your soul,
the A is for Always forget:
the United States of
Killing it, Killing it -
I'm not the same
I've been destroyed
I've gone insane

The struggle I have
Figuring out why
I've become this way
How did I allow this

It was somewhere between
Each different heartache
That removed every bit of me

Those no longer in my life
That easily walked away
Without a good bye
A reason why
They robbed me
Pieces of my heart they stole
That day they walked away

I've gone insane
I've been destroyed  
I am not the same

These thoughts can't be mine
They're way out of line
Smile during the day
Crying at night
Yelling why

I don't know to get by
Each day I struggle
Questioning why
Begging for it to end

Smiling is no longer easy
My laughs are short
I don't speak anymore
Sleeping doesn't help
Neither does eating

Drugs are a remedy
But only temporarily
Even those
no longer help

Laying wide awake
Remembering why
I've been destroyed
What's made me go insane
To make me not the same

The answers vary
There are so many


I'm not the same
I've been destroyed
I've gone insane
There's no way back
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