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k Apr 2017
I want to pretend for a while
Just a short while,
That things are not as bad as my head is making them out to be.

I want to smile at every single person I see and hug them till we share the same skin

I want to buy flowers every morning and fill my bedroom with all the sweet smells and colours of nature.

I want to paint every single wall in the city lumo yellow, so it's never too dark to walk at night alone.

I want to cut my hair and wear bright red lipstick. I want to wear only white dresses for a year.

If we share the same skin, maybe you'll think twice about wanting to hurt me

Flowers are just to cover up the stench of heartbreak and disappointments thats always hanging in the air

Bright yellow walls so that the dark cannot be blamed for deaths of bodies and souls anymore. And the light will blind and expose all the sinners.

Hair cut, just because we have to force ourselves to let go sometimes. Because waiting for every strand to grow out takes far too long, and we've never had time.  

Red lipstick - a warning as well as a reminder of the blood. So much blood.

365 white dresses,
So that the slightest stain cannot be hidden.
Because white is the opposite of darkness
Because I don't want to blend into the night anymore.

I want to be seen from the highest building in town
I want to be seen from airplanes,
I want to be seen from space.

So no one can lie and say,

I didn't know you weren't okay.
k Apr 2017
Don't get too close
If you smile he might think you want to **** him.
If you're nice to him he might think you want to **** him.
Don't let them touch you
A second is far too long.
Your skin is smothered in gas,
His fingers are lit matches

We can't afford to be fire anymore

Don't do anything that might make it seem like you're asking for it.
Your smile should be small
Your voice ice-cold

Don't let your guard down for a second

Stay awake. Don't fall asleep.
Wake up.
(I'm always tired)
don't let them catch you asleep.
Don't let them catch you

Keep running.
Don't let them catch you
k Mar 2017
Smiling stranger
4 am
Head rush
Starts to blush
Are we really this high
Are we real
Are you going to kiss me
Yes
We are magnetic.
****,
I think we just went to space
I think I love your face
But it's just the drugs, babe.
It's just the drugs
k Mar 2017
Too many times we've woken up in the same bed
Every single time in over our heads
I tried to make sunshine out of Pluto
I tried to make an ocean out of mud and tap water.
You gave me roses
And pointed out their thorns
I said I didn't mind a little blood,
It's all red anyway.
That's when you couldn't look at me;
Let alone for me
I said I would give you my heart
If you didn't mind barbed wire.
I said maybe we could save each other
You said just save me tonight
I said tell me your favourite colour
Tell me why you hate your father
Tell me who you are when no one is looking
You said no ones ever looking
I didn't say I always am.
You said a lot of things
And nothing at all
The way you squeezed my hand and held on to me in your sleep.
We spoke non-stop for hours
And then never again.
k Feb 2017
Short skirts, heels high
Straight back, skinny thighs
Dark lips, always smiling
Bat those lashes, keep them trying
To get a taste
To get a feel
Of the girl who is no longer real

Hearts turn to stone
When they've been broken too many times
Kisses don't mean anything
When you're wearing your disguise

Cause everyone's playing a part
In this **** show we call life
These days either you're too young
Or your heart is completely gone

And true love is not something we're used to anymore.
k Feb 2017
So now you look like you've got it all figured out right?
So now you finally found someone who you're not afraid to love right?
I stand in the corner
Hands wrapped around my chest
Because you're the one that taught me that my very best
Just wasn't good enough.
You told me someday I'll find someone to love me just like I loved you
You said they won't lie to me the way that you do
You said someday, someone
But never you.
Now I stand in the corner
And you're acting like you can't see me right?
At one point I was the only person you spoke to all day
Now you didn't even wish me on my birthday
I'm trying to make sense of love and why I always get the shortest string
Why boys line up at the door just to get a taste
& then spit me out the minute it's no longer a chase
I'm not trying to play these love games
I don't want their cheap compliments
I don't want the hand holding without the heart holding.
Why does it feel like I'm always begging him to love me
But at the same time telling him don't bother trying to trust me
And I'm not saying I've got it all figured out
In fact I'm way past falling apart
I just wanna know why your heart got spared when you were the one who ruined mine
How someone can love the ruiner
But not the ruined.
Why you got to walk away from this mess that I've become
This mess that you made
This mess that's not a mess at all
And now cause you couldn't love it
I won't let anyone else even try.
  Feb 2017 k
Rapunzoll
hand reaching over
the phantom scars on her leg,
eyes profoundly broken as
flickering christmas lights,
a child weeping inside
the grown woman.
she smiles, she sighs.
there is grey where there
used to be sunshine,
there are desolate trees,
where the birds used to sing,
and crane their necks
like curious strangers,
at women who sit on lone benches
cradling palms,
stirring up memories of
touch so gentle it hurt.
until people float in and out
like a lifebuoy at sea,
until a wolfish man in scruffs
whistles and waves slowly,
as though time itself has broken.
she sinks deeper into herself,
into the womb of mothers;
into all the love
and all the heartache.
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