Silence and stillness awoken
And dishrags fall from sky's brink
Slapping mud splattering broken
New Jersey now kitchen sink

Flash from neighbor's window
Shot off mirror into my eyes
Big Mama begins without intro
Surrounds me gravy and fries

I'm rowing rivers in plastic cup
Other cars are bobbing downstream
What has Mother Nature just dished up?
Churning seafoam into whipped cream

This is art of simplifying love.

If you have no friend,
You don't have to go to the club,
And get drunk with strangers.
Let's get drunk together.

If you have no time,
You don't have to talk to me for hours,
Just simply text me,
And tell you're okay.

If you have no money,
You don't have to buy me fancy food,
We can eat the instant noodle instead.
Or I can cook and eat by myself.

If you're bad at remembering,
You don't have to remember our anniversary date, nor my birthday.
Just remember me,
Or simply remember my name.

If you're not in love with me,
You can start learning it,
Or simply throw me away.
It's way more simple than faking love.

Oh my gosh... confession time.

When I was married and he was married--we were both married, get it? Anyway, I started working for him on projects. Pretty soon, I got the feeling that he was just making up reasons to hire me.

There was no mistaking the chemistry the first time we were alone in the elevator together. It was just the way he looked at me. He had boundaries, but something else in his eyes had me captivated. I went back to his place of business over and over to do more work.

Once, in a meeting with the project team, I sat next to him. I had my notepad in my lap and was taking notes. Someone said something and I asked him for clarification. What I got was his hand tracing a diagram on the notepad in my lap. The diagram ended up with his finger pointing in the direction my crotch--all because he was explaining "how things worked."

Pretty soon, he invited me to share, with he and his friends, a certain sport. Well, I tried it and really enjoyed it. Fell in love with the sport really. As a group we would go out every weekend. A couple of times he and I went alone. One of those times we were in the woods together, alone practicing this particular sport. Actually for climbing you always go out into the woods somewhere, so that's not out of the ordinary.

He wanted to boulder by himself for a while and I just didn't enjoy it. So (and this is summer time so we were dressed minimaly) he takes off his shirt and starts out on one rock, while I sat back to wait. By this time the chemistry had built up to incredible near chreshendo (sp?). And I was just watching him, his muscular back and arms. It got so that I had to lie face down on the rock to cool my body off. He knew the whole time that I was watching him.

When he was done, we went off down the trail to find the perfect spot to ascend. Suddenly, he stopped and said, "look at that bird over there." Of course, I didn't see any bird and asked, "where?" He started pointing and then I realized... (you know how you have to line yourself up to see something someone else sees?) I realized then that he was trying to get me to come closer to him.

I did. We ended up about six inches apart. Both of us breathing heavily. Had we not been married, or maybe because we were married, all we would have to do is turn our heads and that would have been the end of it. I couldn't live with that on my hands--his and my marriage in jepoardy. So I stepped away... I wonder now if that was a good idea. Oh, the temptation. And on top of all that, we were both from a religious family.

Now that I'm not married any more, I often think of looking him up and calling him.

Do you all think I should? I wonder if he would remember.

Don’t ask me
how I am
‘cause fine I can
never be

When you think
I’m happy and carefree
I’ve just drowned myself
in your company

When you see me
dancing in the rain
you fall in love
with me yet again

For me, I’m just
trying to lose
myself in the
dripping pain

When you see me
laughing hysterically
you think to yourself
you’ve found a gem

Me, I’m just
trying to hold back
all my tears that may
breakout my inner self

For you, I tried to
put on a happy face
and many a time
feel it too

But somehow
this pain is
far too
deeply etched

I don’t know
if these chains
are made by me
‘cause really
I try to break free

But every single time
I find myself
clutched more tightly
by these killing flames

to grieve the loss of someone alive
makes me wish i were dead
facing fears we once faced together
i face alone instead
the unthinkable had to happen
though it'd been a long time coming
now the dust has settled
i'm no longer left wandering
i couldn't say goodbye
i couldn't even look at your face
the hole left in my chest
is such a hollow space
it was the opening of a door
that was meant for my way out
the one i had refused to open
i'm now being pushed out

i've seen four stages of grief
up until this moment
and now the only one left is
acceptance
it isn't any less hurtful than the other four
and i've return like a stray
staring at the door

but it's not to be opened anymore.

The nights you left me, sitting, waiting for you to call me back,
All the times you promised to keep me company.

What happened to your heart, wheres the person I used to know,
What have these people done to the one I love