I can't seem to focus with you here.
Even in the silence my mind is still chattering endlessly.
Your lips kiss your coffee cup and I know that I have no hope.

You have already won me.

The words leapt off the page and wrapped themselves around her like a blanket warming her soul, caressing her most fragile thoughts, and comforting her fears.

They took hold of her shriveled heart and made it feel beautiful, hopeful, and alive.
Her heart leapt from her chest as the words had leapt from the page

and all of a sudden the words asked her heart to dance

and her heart quietly agreed.

I don't hate you anymore.
You know, truthfully... I thought I always would.
Because you took something from someone that they weren't offering
and now they can never get it back.
One day a mommy and a daddy are going to have to explain to a little girl that not all big brothers are "good" and sometimes they have to go away so they won't hurt anyone anymore.
One day that little girl is going to grow up and she'll want to go on dates but maybe she'll be scared of men because a little boy pathetically pretending to be a man was worse than the monsters under her bed could have ever been.
I don't know what life is going to be like for her. I only know that these feelings inside never wreck you like I want them to but instead they keep tearing me apart and making me afraid of men as if I was the victim of your crimes. I can't live like this and as shocking as it is, and as long as it has taken, I actually have hope for you.
Maybe one day you'll feel this thing called "remorse."
Maybe one day you'll turn yourself around.
Maybe one day you'll recognize the truth.
Maybe one day you'll receive this thing called "grace."
I really just don't know. But until then...
I don't hate you anymore.