Sometimes I just don't want to exist.
It doesn't come from a lack of friends,
Or a lack of family.

If my life ended, I know people would care,
I would be missed.
That's my problem.

My circumstances,
The people around me,
They're the cage trapping my soul to this earth.

I could never hurt them,
Or leave them.
But the events
the places,
the people,
The reasons that have me writing this today-
They make me tired,
So tired.
And all I want to do is sleep

I used to love the moon
The idea that we both saw the same light
From different angles
From different time zones
But now I envy the moon
Because she reminds me that love fades
That it will come and go
Just as she does
Just like you do

I'm sorry
I want to
Talk to you
I really do
But I can't
It hurts
Too much

I'm sorry
I want to
Talk to you
I really do
But I can't
It reminds of
Things that I'm
Trying not to feel

I'm sorry
I want to
Talk to you
I really do
But I can't
I'm not
Ready

I'm sorry...

You stopped showing up in my dreams more and more each day
so I stopped wearing makeup when I went to bed
I no longer woke up on my side of the bed
instead I started carelessly waking up on yours without hesitation
my heart stopped skipping a beat every time the door bell went off, or the phone rang in hopes that it might be you
the songs that we use to sing along together soon lost their meaning and became just songs to me
I stopped talking about it
I stopped saying your name more than my own everyday
I went back to all the places we use to go
I ate all the food we use to eat again
I kissed other boys
and I danced until my feet hurt and the room was spinning

but just because you're no longer here, and I don't talk about it, think about it, or even miss you anymore
doesn't mean that you didn't take a part of me when you slammed the front door shut
it doesn't mean that I have laughed or smiled the same since you told me you didn't love me anymore
and it doesn't mean that I don't feel my heart break all over agin when I see you with her

because you were a wound
and time is a bandaid that has healed me
but you have forever left a scar that no amount of time or other temporary bandages could ever heal