The hunter’s bullet lodges in my side
like the pin bones of salmon wedged
in the back of my throat.

My life balances on the border
between my favorite comfort foods,
and the blade of the taxidermist.

You would make me into a trophy,
gutted and cured to become an ornament,
in your seasonal hunting cabin.

Raw honeycomb, Caribou marrow,
salmon roe stuck to my tongue,
psalms of my home made flesh,

call me back into my survival
instincts for my sleeping children.

She who outruns deer & devours
strong bucks with antlers the size of sequoias
could not outrun the champion sprinter,

American made bullets.

But when you realize your rumpus
disturbed wild things, there is no time to reload.
You brought a potluck into the den
of a slumbering mother with cubs.

My teeth are agonizingly real
And my jaws are in your belly,
rooting for the lost rib of Adam.

Have you ever been in love with the thought of someone
I just recently figured out that I was
if these signs flash red in your head  save yourself some time and break up with your mind
Here are some warnings that you are falling in love with a preconceived idea instead of the physical real deal
I can daydream for hours about what we can be together
Conversations come easy in my mind
he always seems to know what im thinking and i always laugh at his jokes
He's all i can think about and i wish for every second to be spent by his side
I wonder what he's doing at the moment and can't help but wonder if he's thinking about me too
We playfight and laugh for hours he tackles me onto the bed
We fall asleep watching our favorite movies and wake up to bagels and coffee
We talk about our favorite books and roam the streets of New York
We're the happiest couple in the city and it radiates for miles

My daydream is cut short by my doorbell
It's him at the door
I open it excited to feel again
I am greeted by your face but your smile doesn't make my heart race
You come in for a hug but it's nothing but an empty embrace
We grab snacks turn on a movie but it's not how I pictured it
Our conversations seem to be scripted
Every touch feels like an obligation
We fall asleep to avoid each others distance
We wake up to bagels and coffee
But my favorite book isn't the same as yours
Your favorite song comes on but it makes me cringe
The distance between us feels larger
And it projects through the busy streets of the city life
I realize that I'm not in love with you
I never have been
It's really not you
It's me
Really and my crazy distorted mind
The one that is too imaginative and wishful for me to tame
I need to cut this off
Us
Me
Most importantly
My exaggetory hopeless romantic mind

What if...
What if is a funny phrase
it has endless possibilities
What if I fail?
What if I fall?
What if it’s not your choice at all?
What if is for the worried
who think of all that could go wrong
What if I fail?
What if I fall?
But what if you fly?

Brick red walls and black rotting roofs , a slothful purpose in every new move
Gutted, paint peeled shacks , revolving attic vents , remembering smoke filled
chimney stacks
Sea oat dancers performing , tin buildings glowing , the aged are growing bold in March sun , long live these abandoned monuments , pray for former champions* ...