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Hawthorn hedgerows separated their fields.
Alice often found Towser lapping
From Jim's cupped hand,
At his hill well.
Her brothers fished Jim's salmon-rich creek.
To get her animal she walked through the bushes,
Drank his water.
They decided to wed.
He poured a new kitchen floor;
Chickens and sows,
Sons and daughters arrived,
Through famine and taxes
They prospered, survived.

Over the evening pint,
The lads grumbled about the Travellers
Camped off the road to Jim's.
     They're gypsies, spilled Jim,
     No different than him, pointing to Frank, beneath a tin:
                                   Guinness is good for you.
     I passed them at tea, they were eating my fish.
     I nodded Okay, and they sang, "Make a wish!
"

How comes it to pass,
Is anyone's guess.

Jim left walking for home,
A dark journey, alone.
The night sky was clear,
Jim loved the fresh air.
In his line he saw
The gypsy's red fire.
He was offered a drink,
Being a purveyor of craic,
The stars glided eastward,
Alice watched them that night,
Waiting for Jim to come back.

He rose with a scratch,
And a Guiness-stained yawn,
And the smell of a smokey,
Fire-haired woman.

For seventeen years no words were spoken,
Alice was redolent,
The holy of holies lay open,
The body's been stolen.
In the stillness of night,
Alone in her bed,
Jim lay beside her;
Her man was dead.

One fish, one wish,
And all was unsaid,
An unspeakable silence
Envelope the dead.

A wish is a fish,
Alive in deep water;
If you hook it, release it,
It'll swim to another.

Jim died alone
In his house, not his home;
His wish transpired
By fish and his fire.
Some call it bi-polar
I prefer manic-depression
It fits us better with adequate expression
We live our life in swooping loops
We strive at our peak then it droops
And the doleful drudge is destitute
Until all progress stops and stoops
To a halt, face down in mud and roots

And then we rise
Called back to life by a guiding light held deep inside
Sorely self-aware, we work until we burst
Droll desperation, at our best when at our worst
"Wow you got your **** together you lost and soulless ruffian."
Then we hit our peak and it all starts back up again
Really
the longer you live
the more you shift between
the what is and what was
sometimes the transitions
are smoother than others
today I found myself
within a few layers
of my former life
interwoven
with my current experience
always a bittersweet mixture
somewhere half way
between gratefulness
with a touch of regret
and a modicum of relief
that so many frayed edges
were smoothed enough
to make it all stay together
for the most part
not sure where tomorrow is going
but right here, right now
just hanging in there
and not sure
how long the thread
is…
My life and times
Did you remember me today.
(I always remember yours),
Especially today, once a year.
You made such effort for happiness then.
I admired your mind,
Lusted for your body,
Held you in high esteem,
And you returned in kind.
We will never be strangers,
Though years have estranged us.
I get tongue-tied and stupid
When you're near now;
You seem indifferent.
I must live with this distance,
I deny I love you yet,
I deny, deny, deny.
Crazy, denial, the source
Of my isolation.
A symptom.
If I'd had cancer,
You would have held me,
I'd see the genuine sorrow about you,
Your tired eyes pleading for another day,
But  futility comes in many forms.
This way, I'd leave peacefully,
But I had to leave anyway.
So, after all these years,
Did you remember me today?
.
It drove the poet round the bend,
his limericks just wouldn't end.
They'd go well for a time,
but come the fourth line....


It drove the poet round the bend,
his limericks just wouldn't end.
They had the precision of a clock,
but then they would suddenly stop...


It drove the poet round the bend,
his limericks just wouldn't end.
It really wasn't his fault,
they just came to a halt...


...**** it!


© Pagan Paul (01/02/17)
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