Keith Lumapas

Keith Lumapas Nov 2015

His head pressed against the window, with the rain cascading down the glass like a waterfall mimicking the tears on his cheeks. He ponders about his misfortune. He doesn't know why, or how all this have transpired, for his mind is a jumbled ball of yarn, tangled in a hot mess. He looks out, wondering if the movement of this bus will somehow give him a glimmer of hope, but his vision is blurry, his mouth dry, and the passing of the street lights flashing before his eyes started to transform into a memory, that he wished he had already forgotten. He is lost....

Keith Lumapas Nov 2015

Sleeping with a Ghost

The best part of my evening is sleeping with your ghost beside me. It gives me a melodramatic feeling of an empty pleasure, that abruptly halts, the moment the sunlight hits my face. A wake up slap for existing in reality.

Keith Lumapas Nov 2015

Pretty Lady in the Bus

Pretty Lady in the bus glancing at me, I wonder if your eyes could see what I could see. A beauty that is beyond this world, the most greatest story that's ever been told. Will I be dancing in the dark from now on? Will I be searching for you when you're gone?

Nov 2015

Y Rada

I Buried Him Somewhere

I buried him somewhere…
When I go to bed at night,
I checked the closet and he’s not there,
I tried under my bed and he’s not there.

Surely he’s dead for I buried him somewhere,
I am a woman now and not a frantic child,
It’s been a long while since I have not visited his grave,
Pray then, why must he appear now?

I tried hard to move on with life,
I persevered to love and accept myself,
I opened my heart to forgive my own,
My being is as wide as the skies.

I found solace in the plateau of my existence,
Why must he visit now?
Truly, I buried him somewhere,
And I swore he’ll never see me again.

He’s there trying to taunt and torture me,
He’s the one who mocks me,
He scoffs me when I search for happiness,
He laughs when I try beating myself.

Nightmares haunt me even at day,
He was the devil himself,
He, a vile and a disgusting man,
Who touched and fondled me in my innocent years.

He violated my freshness to rotten,
And it took me years to pick up the pieces,
Now that I’m almost whole I couldn’t understand,
Why must he resurrect in my dreams?

I am a woman and I still live,
Yet fear still envelopes my being,
I can never forgive and I will never forget,
But surely, I buried him somewhere…

Dedicated to the abused (sexually or other) females around the world

#pain #abuse #dark #secret #ptsd #hidden #**** #trauma #molested

Keith Lumapas Nov 2015

Partanaire de Dance

The feeling of awe when the moonlight pirouettes through my window pane. A feeling of content, a feeling that feels like I'm not alone. A "partenaire de danse" in this evenings tango

Keith Lumapas Oct 2015

Untitled

I guess you're happy now,  I can see it with your smile.
the way you look when he has his arms around you,
took me a while

to realize that, Just so you know.  All this time when I thought that letting you go,
was a finite reason, for my own happiness.  But I must say,  Sometimes Happiness, is not all that good you see

I miss the argument, I miss the pain,  I miss the times you were driving me insane.

A rhyme with no reason but yet, I'm left in Vain.

I counted the days, and watched my life pass me by,
and everyday,  I try my hardest to push the memories aside.

Day by day, the scent of you still lingers whenever I breathe in.  I get so emotional.  even from the tiniest hairs that you left behind on my floor.  it makes me even more sad, because, no mater how much I try to collect as much of these,  I can never make another you.

I guess you're happy now,  you're out there, smiling and laughing with someone else.  Something that you and I use to enjoyed so much.

Oct 2015

Y Rada

I HAVE FEELINGS TOO

It is difficult to be a man,
For I am not a typical one.
It is hard for me to go on,
There’s a secret that pulls me.

I loathe when my memories strike,
They hit emotionally with might.
I struggle so much to survive,
In a world so deaf towards my cries.

I look at a He and my heart convulses,
For I recall a He who gave me kisses.
I was young, forced and naïve,
I fought but He was much stronger.

Society might tell that I’m gay,
For I let a man violated me in a way.
But I’m not a ***** and I’m sure,
I play a role for which others envy.

When I was a teen I met her,
I admired her even if she’s older.
I was then shy and very timid,
With mental and emotional scars.

I thought of her as a dear friend,
Then she turned to be my worst fiend.
One instance she forced herself on me,
And used things that hurt me so.

A girl’s tactics differ from the stronger ***,
Tears she used first and blackmail next.
She was cunning, sly and very clever,
She stole my pride and my dignity.

My fears now mixed with anger,
My determinations got bolder.
I still cry and sometimes get lonely,
Like any other victim I want to fight.

I can not shout to the whole nations,
For societies will scorn at my declamation.
Both sexes forgot that I have feelings too,
I am also made of flesh, bones and spirit.

I am not proud of what I become,
Within me clouding reasons try to calm.
My desire is to win this battle to the end,
I am capable of vulnerability like any human.

But where does my right begin?
This universe has compassion for women.
The likes of me are expected to be steel made,
Yet I have feelings too for I am just a man.

Dedicated to all abused males by other men and to the men abused by females. A simple shout out to the world that I care…that I have heard your cries… and that you are still loved.

#anger #hurt #secret #grief #confusion #abused #sexualabuse #unfairness #malerape #maleabuse