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Oct 2015 · 863
These Words are my Diary
Katrina Wendt Oct 2015
You came into my life in February.
At the beach, of all places.
Of all my favorite places.

When I was wandering through greyscale
You sparked in front of my face, blinding me

And I realized that maybe even though I wasn't looking
In that moment, meeting you was my reason.

We spent the first five months of knowing each other
Distant and casual and nothing other than friendly.
Being separated by 100 miles isn't so conducive for dating.

I think that made things better.
Enough time to talk.
Enough to realize I could be really interested.

In my humble opinion, we started dating September 4, 2015.

When you took me out for my birthday,
I think our thoughts were running along similar lines;
I want there to be more.

I really wanted that to be a date.
For what we were doing to be a thing we could keep doing
And not because I was lonely or I'd been single too long.

But because in a world where I hadn't dated in two years because I didn't want to
And no one I'd met was worth spending my time on
You appeared and I went, "Oh."

I want to kiss you so badly but I'm so nervous.

In no way do I mind being the one to make plans for us.
I'm a Virgo, it's in my nature
And as long as you keep saying yes, I'm happy.

But it was such a genuinely wonderful surprise to have you come back with ideas.
To me, that doesn't say, "We should carve pumpkins"
It says, "I'm interested in spending more time with you."
And that always makes me smile.

Today I got my nails painted your favorite color.
What am I doing?

Half the time on tumblr these days I'm just looking for quotes to describe how I feel.
About life; about you.

These days, you're in most of the dreams I remember.

All I'm saying is at this point I might be in just on the side of too deep to back out of the water without good reason.
2015
Sep 2015 · 585
Untitled
Katrina Wendt Sep 2015
you
cannot

cannot

cannot
get to me

breathe
2015
Sep 2014 · 747
Pt. 2
Katrina Wendt Sep 2014
I am too warm
I begin to roll off my socks
one at a time
with my opposite foot
I wiggle my toes
They crack and I feel the coolness
of the sheets
so silky and soft
I want to move my feet around
make a snow angel in bed
Instead I stick one foot
out from under the covers
and settle into the softness
To do anything else
would wake you
and nothing is as beautiful
as your eyelashes resting on your face
nothing is as precious
as the curve of your neck
as the soft contradiction
of your pale cheek lightly flushed
I am still warm
But as if sensing my need you turn in sleep
facing me
Your breath steals across my cheekbones
leaving goosebumps in its wake
It is not in fear that my breath catches
but in awe and wonder
though the strong beat of my heart
cannot differentiate the two
You are a force of nature
stubborn and quick-witted
thoughtful and patient
You are human and strong and self-assured
and I have realized that I love you
My breath catches
You do not stir.
2014
Sep 2014 · 1.1k
Pt. 1
Katrina Wendt Sep 2014
Raindrops fall on the roof
the way your hands touch my skin.
Your fingertips, light and dragging,
become more insistent,
speaking of the storm about to come.
I feel your palms
heavy on my shoulders.
The tiny hairs on my nape
stand straight up
in response to your thumbs.
Your lips and tongue taste
the one vertebrae
that sticks out at the base of my neck
soft as wind through the grass,
but my insides quiver
through the thunder you create.
When your hands come around to my sides
my stomach shivers,
rippling because your nails tickle
before they dig into my curves.
I gasp through the sensation,
unable to otherwise move with my body in shock.
Tingling pleasure courses up and down beneath my skin
my body as charged as the air
when the clouds have rolled in
but the lightning has yet to strike.
2014
Aug 2014 · 1.2k
if this was a poem
Katrina Wendt Aug 2014
if this was a poem
it would be total ****
because it doesn't rhyme
and there's no rhythm
and there are no answers
2014
Aug 2014 · 1.1k
Alight With You
Katrina Wendt Aug 2014
your sarcasm sings to something in me that I didn't know was there.
small and tightly packed in the middle of my chest it pulses with light and longing when you speak.
because you say it with a smile I know how to respond
which only makes it better when my words come out sassy and clear
saying what the honesty in me demands but delivered as a joke.
your eyes let me know it isn't taken as one.
good.
you flirt with the enthusiasm of a child but the will and words of your 23 year old self.
at first I hesitated unsure how to respond to your loud efforts when I wasn't sure if you were messing with the new girl or just wanted to see me react.
but you've caught a spark of the fire I put out over a year ago
coaxing it back when I'd forgotten how nice the warmth could be.
but now I want that flame and it will hold because there's a matching burn in your skin when we touch and it's not enough.
you laugh when you notice our mirroring and wonder why whereas I smile because while I've noticed and know what it means I can't control myself enough to stop it happening.
and while the song on the radio says I'm gonna love you like a black widow baby
I just want to love you all the time in all the best ways because while black widows may **** after *** I want you to feel so alive there's not enough oxygen in the world for your body so you breathe harder.
Reality returns when you tell me now nice I look and I'm torn between preening and returning the compliment so you know of course I find you attractive
because your eyes are the brightest blue and your curves look so soft I wish I could put my hands just above your hips but I settle for gliding my hand down your arm and smile as you seem to enjoy it.
We stand very close together so much that anyone not interested would have taken a step back but neither of us do.
And if we were a boy and a girl someone would have broken up the party by now and told us to get back to work
but these silly pedestrians won't see what's right in front of their faces if they refuse to look.
2014
May 2014 · 701
Time
Katrina Wendt May 2014
And just when I thought I was okay
I find myself back here again
Right where this all started
Unable to repress my feelings
Undeniably in love with you
Unable to do anything about it.

The good news is
I only have to hide this from you
For five more weeks
The bad news is
I only have you
For five more weeks
2014
Mar 2014 · 851
On a(n) (un)related note
Katrina Wendt Mar 2014
I might be ******* if you ever find all of my poetry about you.
2014
Mar 2014 · 1.1k
Let me
Katrina Wendt Mar 2014
Let me discover your history
Let me know your deepest dreams and fantasies
I will sit for hours listening to your thoughts
I will welcome your words with anticipating silence
I want to know everything you have to say
I want to be there for all of your important moments
I want to be a part of your best memories
I long for you
As I sit in the library
Surrounded by strangers who know nothing
Missing you
Wishing you were mine
2014
Feb 2014 · 1.2k
please
Katrina Wendt Feb 2014
please don't leave me
I know there are others
and I love them too
but i can't stand the thought of not seeing you every week.

I cried tonight
because I missed your last dance
and no one could console me
because it was the last one
and I wasn't there.

You're leaving in 4 months
and people keep trying to tell me that
as if it's a good thing you're not just leaving tomorrow
but four months is less than 6 months
It's slightly over a term away
and I can't handle that.

I cried all night
every time I thought about the fact that you were leaving
and i can't stand myself
because I was supposed to be there
and i feel like i let you down.

It will never be the same as it is now
and i'm so afraid for that time to come
now that i've met you
i don't want to live without you



please don't make me.
2014
Feb 2014 · 642
Would I Be Better Off?
Katrina Wendt Feb 2014
You know
I think if I could make myself not love you
I might
But I might not
And I don’t know which would be worse
2014
Feb 2014 · 994
Realization
Katrina Wendt Feb 2014
It took me a few seconds
to realize what this feeling in my chest was.

A smile on my face,
a warm, full feeling in my heart.

Oh
Oh

Loved.
I feel loved.
2/14/14
Jan 2014 · 1.0k
Classified
Katrina Wendt Jan 2014
Lost:
a blue sticky note
smoothed out, previously crumpled
the words "I love you"
in pen
2014
Dec 2013 · 1.2k
Mad at You
Katrina Wendt Dec 2013
When I say I'm mad at you
I do mean it
But it varies between
Being ****** as hell
But still loving you
And hating you
For making me feel things.

When I say I'm mad at you
For me that means
Being mad at you
Is easier than being crippled
with fear and pain
I can stay standing
When I'm mad at you.

When I say I'm mad at you
It's easier for me to say than
"What you did hurts me because I care about you."
Somehow I just can't
Ever get those words out
But instead
I'm burdened by taut silence.

When I say I'm mad at you
Please accept
Those words for what they mean
That I'm not mad at you
That I love you
That I'm scared
And I don't know how to tell you.
2013
Nov 2013 · 39.0k
I Can Only Try
Katrina Wendt Nov 2013
I can lay
right next to you
and never touch you

I can see you smile
from across the room
without kissing you

I can watch you
leave the room
and resist hugging you goodbye

But sometimes
when I'm next to you
you have to ask me to move away

Because for a few minutes
I let fantasy get confused with reality
and I lean against you during a movie

And it's so warm
your arm and mine, touching
for that minute I'm at peace

But when you ask
of course I make room
Because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable

And if you weren't my friend
I would probably try it
just once, to know what it would be like to kiss you

But ideally,
I'll get over this
and when I am, we'll still be friends

So in the meantime
I try not to think about kissing you
and I only hug you when I have reason to

What I'm saying is
I will do what I can
to keep myself sane and our friendship intact

But just know
that with every look I give
I wish I could give so much more.
2013
Oct 2013 · 1.5k
Silene Stenophylla
Katrina Wendt Oct 2013
she is my silene stenophylla
rare, pure, beautiful
underappreciated, unnoticed

humans make me so angry
because they don't see
the wonder in front of them

her soul is delicate
yet withstanding;
the petals of my silene stenophylla

that I could but protect her
yet how
when all I want for her is to bloom

I worry for her future
because the silene stenophylla
is 32,000 years old

and it is all alone
none left of its kind
if I could, I would be her kind

my beautiful flower
but that she could really be mine
lacking that, I would wish she have the world
2013
Mar 2013 · 2.3k
I Decided Not to Sink
Katrina Wendt Mar 2013
When it gets dark
And the storm is too strong
The winds won't stop blowing
And the water gets too deep

You can tread water
But only for so long
Before your legs give out
And your head sinks beneath the waves

Your only hope
Is that someone will come along
And throw out a lifesaver
To pull you from the waters

And they say:
"You can't be friends with someone
whom you love
who doesn't love you."

And it hurts
Because the waves are strong
And the lifesaver is tight around your lungs
And the rim of the boat jabs into your stomach

But you do it anyway
You get in
You save yourself
You live

I let go, Jack
And left you behind
But it's not selfish
Because you let go first.
2013
Feb 2013 · 1.2k
The Last Act, Scene Five
Katrina Wendt Feb 2013
She started to walk away
Her little show complete
Preformed in front of everyone
But only he knew the meaning-
That she was done.

She could see the door
She had no more purpose here
She headed towards it
Never to enter this place
With trepidation again

"Wait!" Her heart stops
She feels sick, she falters
How dare he
Now she's mad
She keeps walking

"Please, stop."
And she does
But only to respond
Fury evident in every syllable
"Don't even try it."

He walks towards her
Past the people
Milling in the foyer
Some watching
They've heard the rumors

"I'm not going to try anything
But I think we should talk."
She stares at him
Glares at him
He thinks he has the right?

She stands there facing him
Rigid as an iceberg
And just as cold
If this is to be their last encounter
She doesn't want the starers watching

"We can go into my office" Always assuming
"Lead the way" And he does
He doesn't know
That the woman following behind him
Is not the girl he left behind a year ago

Another venture past wandering eyes
She feels the stares
But doesn't turn to acknowledge
Her back straight, head held high
She is ready

She follows him in
And shuts the door behind her
He speaks
"I think we have a lot to talk about,
But we don't have to do it here."

His words ask permission to continue
Permission not granted.
"No. I won't be seeing you again
So we're getting this done now."
"Please-" He tries, she snaps

"No! You don't get to talk!
Every time you talk
You spin words in circles
Until you have me believing
This is a good idea!

"So now I get to talk.
You don't get to do this to me anymore!
Because you've hurt me!
I've let you hurt me
Over and over again.

"But I'm done.
We're done.
You made your choice
The moment you set foot off that plane
And decided I didn't matter.

"Because that's what you did
You didn't call, text, write, or try to find me.
I was here, waiting for you
And you left
You made your choice, this is mine."

She left him in that office
Staring at the open door
Speechless
While she walked away, head high
She didn't look back.
Feb 2013 · 1.0k
You Are The Way I Feel
Katrina Wendt Feb 2013
My dreams are torturous
No wait- my dreams are wonderful
Waking from them is torturous
Because you're in my dreams
And not in my reality.

The only sense of you that I have
That you even still exist
Is all virtual, digital
I need to see you, hear your voice
I miss you like crazy.

I feel like we could be great together
I know we have that potential
But we have to stick that potential
Under a rock
And forget about it for a year.

But remember that rock?
That we hid our potential under?
I can't stop thinking about it
Imagining what it will be like
Once we can take it out.

Love stories remind me of you
They make me think
"That could be us."
They give me hope for us
That we could actually work.

Sometimes I get scared
I'm afraid you'll meet someone else
You'll be so happy with her
You won't even remember me
Except as a summer fling.

But I try not to think about that
I just focus on how amazing
Everything about this summer has been
And hope that the universe
Will take care of the rest.

I love your smile
I love your heart
I love the way you think
I love... Everything about you
But I don't love you, yet.
2010
Katrina Wendt Feb 2013
When she's all alone
She thinks about him
When she doesn't have to mask her expression
Or hide the sparkle in her eyes
That can be seen when he's on her mind
She feels safe.

When he's all alone
He thinks about her
But it just hurts, so he tries not to.
He stays busy
With work and friends
To keep from feeling the loneliness.

They share an entire world,
Secret from everyone else
Where they can go when they need to remember
They don't need to discuss it,
Every time they talk
It's always there, waiting.

They've both been changed
By their, short, but sweet encounter.
A summer they'll never forget
Spent in pure bliss.
Waiting for the time
When they don't have to wait any longer.

She tried to deny her heart
But it was no use,
She gave in.
While he's out there
Still trying to forget
Pretending he's the same.

She understands him
More than she's understood anyone
She clicks with him like Legos
He seems to read her mind
But lets her speak for herself
And he unconsciously clicks right back.

He tries to be firm
To set boundaries, create distance
For the sake of their sanity.
And she tries to respect that
But she can't fight gravity
And as hard as he tries, neither can he.

This is the story of two lovers
Who will grow to be more
They go together
Like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga ****
Where life is loved
And nothing can keep them apart.
Feb 2013 · 1.2k
I Love You
Katrina Wendt Feb 2013
I love your smile
I love the way your whole face lights up when you laugh
I love your warm brown eyes
I love your big strong arms
And how it feels having them wrapped around me

I love that you're a dork
Because I am too
And I love that our personalities complement each other
I love that I feel so connected to you
It gives me such a feeling of togetherness

I love your sense of humor
Which is such a cliché thing to say
But you make me laugh
And you make me happy
And I love being with you

I love how much you care about people
Even though you seem stoic on the outside
I know that you feel deeply inside
Because I've seen that in you
Even when you don't mean me to see.

I love your passion
And your dedication to the things you care about
I love how hard you work to get what you want
And that you always know which direction you want to go
I admire that you don't let anything stand in your way

I love that you care about communicating
I love that you care about how I feel
And that you want to do what's best for both of us
I love you
And what's best for me, is you

I love your voice
Your deep, rich, commanding speaking voice
And your smooth, delicious, higher singing voice
I love watching you preform
I love how you grab all the attention in a room without even trying

You laughed when I fell asleep on your couch
And you called me when you needed help remembering
You texted me when you wanted to see me
And you persisted when I wasn't talking back
You shocked me by tickling me
And picking me up with your arms alone
You were honest with me from the beginning
And you held me on your lap
And always hugged me goodbye
You kissed me like you felt something
And held me like you knew what was there
You said I was worth the risk
And I think you're worth everything
I'm in this, with all my heart
And I just need a hint from you
A sign that you feel something
Because I believe we still have something
We just need a chance
Because love can survive anything
If you let it
Let me
Love you
Because I do
2010
Jan 2013 · 1.4k
I Lack the Words
Katrina Wendt Jan 2013
I don't have anything to say
But please don't leave
Just stay here and we can sit quietly together
That's all I want, anyway.

If you were any more
Of all of the things I'm looking for
I wouldn't believe it.

You say goodnight
And it pings at my heart
Because your presence is gone
A little bit of loneliness.

My emotions are jumbled
And I can't express my thoughts
None of the words
Understand how I feel about you

All I can say is I like you
And you're wonderful
And you're mine.
2013
Oct 2012 · 6.6k
Hopeful to Change
Katrina Wendt Oct 2012
You were always looking for a reason to say goodbye.
You should have known the only reason you'd need is that you want to.
There was never a need to lie straight to my face.
Instead you left me with anger, resentment and bitterness.
But it's been awhile since then and I'm better.
Not fixed, not whole, not as if it had never happened.
But close enough that remembering you doesn't make me want to break things.
So now I am here.
With new friends, in a new place, where everything is different.
I'm looking to meet someone new.
Although I haven't found them yet.
Part of me worries that I'm broken, and just haven't realized it.
What if I never find someone, because of what you did to me?
2012
Sep 2012 · 1.8k
I Have Forever Wanted You
Katrina Wendt Sep 2012
It was easier before the fall
To talk and tease
To play and poke
Fun came easy.

Touch came easy
More so over time
More so after drinks
More so pressed against your truck.

Oh god.
Oh dear god.
Is this what I'd been dreaming of?
It was sweeter than I imagined.

Every kiss and touch and puff of your breath on my face
Was more electrifying
More enticing
Than anything I'd known before.

So I want to kick myself.
For friendship and *** don't mix.
Lasting relationship and one-night stand can't coexist.
So what good are these feelings I have for you?

I can't have you the way I want to have you.
And god I want to have you
But here I sit, alone on my couch
Forcing myself not to call you.
2012
Aug 2012 · 1.8k
Split Second
Katrina Wendt Aug 2012
I saw a man in my peripheral vision
and I thought it was him. My heart did a funny little jump.
Or maybe it was my stomach.
All I know is one or more of my internal organs
made a lurching motion at the supposed sight of him.
2012
May 2012 · 27.4k
Baseball Cap
Katrina Wendt May 2012
I want to touch my fingertips
To the center of the brim of your cap
And run them along the edge
One hand in each direction
Until the stiff peak gives way to soft fabric.

I will gently slide my fingers
Under the edge of your cap
Until it lifts off your head
So that I can toss it behind you
To be forgotten about.

I will trace your jawline
While you say things
In that honeyed, gravely voice of yours
Only it's not quite gravel- not that harsh
More akin with rough sand.

Then you will smile
And your teeth will shine white against your tan skin
While your eyes crinkle and laugh
And I will fall, sinking into their pool
Of warm, caramel coffee.

You will find my hand with yours
And interlock your fingers with mine
Holding them both to your chest
Your hands are large, rough, and strong
You only hold my hand, but my body is paralyzed
2012
Apr 2012 · 1.7k
To the Brim
Katrina Wendt Apr 2012
I have all this love to give
But no significant 'other' to accept it
So I spread it out among my friends
Needing somewhere for it to go.

So much feeling builds up inside me
Bursting forth at the most inconvenient times
Sometimes at the wrong people
Even if I don't know it at the time.

My biggest strength is that I love so easily
It is also my biggest weakness
And worst vulnerability
But still, I wouldn't change myself for anything.

I want someone to love with all my heart
Because my heart is there, waiting for the chance
To prove itself to you
If you were here to give it that chance.

I can't get my words straight
This poem feels all wrong
Why can't I find what I'm looking for?
Where are you?

This anonymous entity
That I know my heart will find someday
And show me where to put this love I carry
Before it weighs me down.

I take chances and risks
Hoping one day I'll find the one that sticks
I'm not fickle; I'm open to possibilities
I won't sit passively by, waiting.
2012
Mar 2012 · 1.7k
I Glow Bright
Katrina Wendt Mar 2012
You couldn't tear me apart
Couldn't block my sunshine
If all I have left is my happiness
Then I still have everything.

You couldn't break me
Couldn't fold my wings
I fly away from your black hole
You couldn't **** me in.

It's not about the letters, calls or late nights
You kept me chained in your basement
But I broke free of your hold
My freedom is your silence.

My light may have faded
But out of your shadows I shine
I am everything bright
Darkness can't touch me now.
2012
Feb 2012 · 987
Writing 227
Katrina Wendt Feb 2012
Her breath is wasted
Thinking she's teaching us well.
I hear blah blah blah.
2012
Feb 2012 · 1.1k
Work
Katrina Wendt Feb 2012
The shift feels longer
As the hour grows later
Unremarkable.
2012
Jan 2012 · 1.5k
To Whom It May Concern:
Jan 2012 · 1.0k
Here
Katrina Wendt Jan 2012
I'm here
for you.
You can go
or stay
or take space
if you need.
But when you need me
I will be here.
I will never leave,
You can always count on me
I'm here.
2011
Dec 2011 · 2.2k
Drunk
Katrina Wendt Dec 2011
You text me
When you're drunk
At the bar
Looking for a ride home.

And I reply
Because you're drunk
And texting me
And I know what that means.

So I get on my shoes
And get in my car
And pick you up
Because you're drunk.

I take you to your late-night fast food
And back to your house
And I go inside
Because you're drunk.

I like you
When you're drunk

You smile
And laugh
And kiss me
When you're drunk.

You pull my hair
And hold me close
And love me
When you're drunk.

I get to stay the night
And hear you talk about the future
And I'm happy
When you're drunk.

I love you
But I have a hard time
Liking you
Except when you're drunk.

And maybe it will **** me
Spending my life
Waiting for a man
Who's only around at night

But I can't leave
Because somewhere inside of you
Is a man that I love
Except that he's drunk.
2011
Dec 2011 · 2.8k
Grandmother
Katrina Wendt Dec 2011
Noun.
The mother of ones father or mother. (mother)
Elderly. (Died December 28, 2011)
Kind. Sweet. Gentle. (If there is a paradise, she is there.)
Bright. Thoughtful. (She made me a Snoopy apron one year for Christmas.)
Loving. (She raised 6 kids, took care of her husband for 55 years, and always made waffles for breakfast when grand-kids came to visit.)
Loved. (by all who knew her)
Missed. (by just as many)
Survived. (1 husband, 6 kids, 4 grandkids, many friends.)
2011
Dec 2011 · 2.1k
Metamorphosis
Katrina Wendt Dec 2011
Noun.
A profound change (inspiration)
in form (strength)
from one stage (bravery)
to the next (satisfaction)
2011
Dec 2011 · 703
That Boy
Katrina Wendt Dec 2011
I cry for the boy
Whose own father
Abandoned him as a small child

I weep for the boy
Raised in a shallow world
Who succeeded beyond their expectations

My heart aches for the boy
Who lost his mother
To cancer

And breaks for the boy
Who lost his grandfather
That same year

I cry for that boy
Who does not cry for himself
But who has become an unfeeling man
2011
Dec 2011 · 1.9k
Gravity
Katrina Wendt Dec 2011
Noun.
The natural force of attraction
exerted by a body (You)
upon objects at or near its surface (Me)
tending to draw them toward
the center of the body. (Together)
2011
Dec 2011 · 1.6k
Perspective
Katrina Wendt Dec 2011
A little perspective
Goes a long way
When the difference between
Perceived pain
And actual pain
Is the difference between
A kiss that must end
And a relationship ended.
2011
Dec 2011 · 1.7k
My Dad
Katrina Wendt Dec 2011
I was raised by my
Fixes everything
Does it on his own
Came home smellin' like grease and gasoline
Hugging us before changing his uniform
Kind of dad

A do what you're told when you're told to do it
Listen to what I'm saying
Don't talk back to me
Or you'll get it
Kind of dad

A quiet talking
Loud thinking
Says what's on his mind
Doesn't take no *******
Kind of dad

The taught me how to drive
To always tell the truth
Tell someone when you love them
Be respectful and kind
Kind of dad

A don't talk to strangers
Be home before dark
Be careful climbing that tree
Don't hit your brother
Kind of dad

A you're my favorite daughter
We can talk about anything
I love you always
No matter what
Kind of dad
2009
Nov 2011 · 343.3k
Whole
Katrina Wendt Nov 2011
Stop showing
You love me
A little at a time.

Stop saying
You care
Bit by bit.

Stop keeping
Me here
For tiny pieces of time.

Because I need
All of you
Not piece by piece.

I love
All of you
Not just some parts of you.

So love all of me
All the way
All the time.

Or let all of me go
All at once
For good.
2011
Oct 2011 · 3.9k
Delicate Soul
Katrina Wendt Oct 2011
I sing as the wind
Blows in my face
And through my hair
It whispers to me.

Hanging by a line
Spinning and spinning
Getting dizzy just watching
The world around me.

Sometimes when the wind is strong
My people get upset
And they bring me down
Until a calmer day.

[wind chimes]
2007
Oct 2011 · 27.5k
Isn't it Tragic?
Katrina Wendt Oct 2011
My heart lay bleeding at my feet
I stare as you tear it apart.
I stagger back as you take your walk alone.

You say you're off balance,
So I go and the sides are even again.
You won't miss me when I'm gone.

You were my best friend and more.
I still want to be your friend, too.
But I need time to heal my heart.

You're not really gone, but to me you are and I miss you.
And I know you're not coming back.
So I'll see you around and we'll say hello.

I try, but can't put into words:
The sound of my heart shattering
The sight of the permanently gray skies etched into my mind
The feeling of your arms... I'll never feel again
The scent of the tears on my face
And the taste of them in my mouth

But my senses are numb.
I notice these things, but don't really feel them.
Isn't it tragic?
2007
Oct 2011 · 23.0k
Internal Struggle
Katrina Wendt Oct 2011
Every light makes a shadow
And every shadow is darkness.
The darkness holds a secret
A secret never to be revealed by the light.
Every person is light
But everyone holds a secret.
A secret buried deep within themselves
Covered in darkness.
When the light meets the darkness
They clash.
There is no neutral or gray.
In the end, only one is left standing.
2005
Oct 2011 · 3.6k
Limbo (The Ugly Side of Me)
Katrina Wendt Oct 2011
Shadows creep over my skin
Like the empty touch of a lovers hand.
Slowly sliding, moving barely noticed
And yet felt.

One by one people disappear.
Left is the dark spot, the cold
Black hole where they stood.

The silence screams,
And bleeds my heart.

Four, three, two
Almost gone.

How long until none?

Quietly waiting for the last to leave.
Knowing, and yet knowing it cannot be prevented.
And yet hoping it won't happen...

What does one do alone?

I will cry.
Spotlighted on a lone stage.

Dread.

History always repeats itself.
And yet this time
There's nowhere to run.

Nowhere to hide
And yet no music to face.

Where do I go?

Sit in Limbo, uncollected, forgotten trash.

Words written on my hand:
fat, ugly, stupid, *****, ****, stubborn, mean, hateful,
jealous, *******, *****, hysterical, loser, selfish.

The ugly side of me.
I can't hide from it longer,
Because with no one here, there's just me.
2008
Oct 2011 · 3.2k
Jessi's Poem
Katrina Wendt Oct 2011
My friend is a shy butterfly.
She doesn't want to come
Out of her cocoon.
She is colorful and beautiful and bright,
But she doesn't want anyone to know.
She stays quiet and tries
To blend in with the plain leaves,
To not draw attention to herself.
Only some people notice the butterfly.
And she lets them, if they're kind.
They are the lucky ones.
2007
Oct 2011 · 12.5k
My Kryptonite
Katrina Wendt Oct 2011
I had built a wall
Layer by layer
Mortar and stone

Until it was so high
And so strong
I thought no one could break it.

But I overlooked something
Because when I was done
There you were.

You just slipped right past my wall
Without even noticing its presence.
I was too surprised to push you out.

And then a funny thing happened
I was happy
And at peace with the world

And reconsidering my wall
Reconsidering
What I was protecting myself from.

I didn't have much of myself
To give away
But I gave you some of what was left

But not so much
That it would destroy me
To have to take it back.

Because I'd been though that before
I gave away so much
And still most of it is gone.

I've been hurt into being
More cautious with my feelings
Than I used to be.

And it turned out to be
A good thing
A blessing inside a curse

Because when you gave that piece back
It hurt
But I knew it could have been worse.

Because you can't break something
That's already been broken
By another.

There wasn't any part of me I gave you
That you could destroy
I didn't give you that.

I keep my heart close to me
Because it belongs to another
You were only borrowing what I had left.

So I will be fine
Because I've been through worse
And you are not my Kryptonite.
2011
Oct 2011 · 5.9k
Broken Parts
Katrina Wendt Oct 2011
I'm on the warpath
(On the warpath)

Not another chance, not again, no way
Never gonna let him throw my love away
If he doesn't want it then it's mine to take
If he ever tries again it'll be too late

Long gone now is my innocence
Taken by a lover in his arrogance
Thinking we were just playing fun and games
Not ever knowing I'd never be the same

Now I'm just a broken heart
Who let love tear her world apart
But I'll never let another take me in so far
Cuz I'll be the one leaving broken parts

Get the men off the streets, not a boy is safe
Walking down the road of the mistakes I've made
Scratching out eyes just to get them gone
Can't even have the nice ones tagging along

Tears over him harden like diamonds
Leave me dangerous to the touch
Never again will I see my heart mend
I always gave him much too much

I'll never let this feeling go away
Reminding myself of the chance I gave
Wishing for a love that would never be
Such a stupid girl, I could never see

Now I'm just a broken heart
Who let love tear her world apart
But I'll never let another take me in so far
Cuz I'll be the one leaving broken parts

I'm just a broken heart
Who let love tear her world apart
But I'll never let another take me in so far
Cuz I'll be the one leaving broken parts

I'll be the one leaving broken parts
2011
Oct 2011 · 3.2k
Make Me
Katrina Wendt Oct 2011
I've never been so good at rhyming
The words just wouldn't come to me
Matching words with matching feelings
Sometimes feels forced or schemed.

But for you I want to try
You make me feel like I could fly
To be anywhere you are today
Knowing this feeling will always stay...
Knowing you'll always love me

I used to be afraid of change
And at times it still seems daunting
But I know life can't always stay the same
If it did I'd never have found you...

And it hasn't always been easy for me
To talk or sing or write about how I feel
It's something that I've been working on
So this relationship will stay strong...

Because you make me want to try
You make me feel like I could fly
To be anywhere you are today
Knowing this feeling will always stay...
Knowing you'll always love me

But knowing is not always so simple
There are fights and hurt and anger all around
And times when I just want to throw you on the ground
And times when I wonder what to do...

But that's just a part of life
You and me we can't deny
That love isn't something you get
It's something you try, try, try for...

And for you I want to try
You make me feel like I can touch the sky

To be anywhere you are today
Knowing this feeling will always stay...
Knowing you'll always love me
And I will always love you too.
2011
Sep 2011 · 1.5k
Addict
Katrina Wendt Sep 2011
Men are my vice
I use them
And lose them

I'm an addict
who knows it's wrong
Until I need another hit

I take them late at night
The cover of darkness
Makes me feel safe

I forget about the world
And I feel free
Until I feel awful

I use them for control of my thoughts
And to prevent feelings
That I'd rather not feel

But reality catches up
As I drive home
And I feel *****

If people only knew
What I do in the dark
They'd see me differently

Everyone needs to cope
Some use alcohol, drugs
I cope with men

Men who don't care
Who don't know
What I'm there to ignore

So men are my vice
I use them
Then lose them

And though I feel
Wrong, bad, afterwards
I always go back
2011
Sep 2011 · 1.3k
Lost Hope
Katrina Wendt Sep 2011
I'm too young to have such grown-up feelings
I need a grown-up drink to help me forget.
There's no way around my thoughts
So I push them away to the back of my mind.

But you can't fight a battle you won't win
You can't tie a straight line
Or or white-out a whisper
And I can't find the words to go back to you again
2011
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