I wanna cry but I can't find the tears
Its like they're lost somewhere inside me
I wanna go look for them cause I feel bad
And I believe they will help me feel less sad
For them to come and I will embrace this sorrow
I keep thinking I wan't to borrow You
To make me happy but I don't have a clue
I wish my body would release them but only
when I want them to
Cause If I make a habit of crying
I will feel like dying
I would cry about anything and everything
like a silly painting on a wall
or a beach somewhere abroad
And I don't want people to notice,
I don't want them to care
I Just want you to have that job as well
Help we cry but with tears of joy,
Cause They never come only when
I let you go.

No matter what I do to make you happy
You always make me feel ******
Even when It isnt my job to make you feel safe
I wish I wasn't born faithless
Maybe I learned that from you as well
It's like you want others to be just like you
Not caring about what they really wanna do
Maybe when you're old you've realize what you've done
But now, you still think you're the only one
who's right at all

I found a new love, I've always longed for
Even More than you.
What I wanted more, Even if it isn't true
I've forgotten myself and my dreams, since you came into my life
All I wanted was to breathe you in.
But since you're gone,I remembered what makes me whole
What I truly live for
There's nothing I want more.
I hope you never return
But if you do, I'll show you
what I replaced you for
Something as pure as the Sun
This passion running through my veins
I wont hesitate to hide it no more
I need to let go of my fears
or Death will be near.

In this moment, I want to stay
Grasping every breathe
Developing a sense of self
That right now Its all I crave
Not needing to depend
On a person or a thing
You should take care and let me
Be the best that I can be
Please help me keep this memory forever
Tomorrow might be gone and in the past I dont belong
Should I stay or should I go?
In mind there is no stillness , just hope
That these forever thoughts would leave me alone

Living someone else's life
Walking in someone else's toes
Troubling  someone else's mind
Singing someone else's song
Thinking about someone else's past
Not enough time to find my own heart
Waiting for the day that I find my way
To stop Living someone else's dream.

I have no reasons to love you, but I do
You only caused me pain, but I also remember your shoes
As you walked towards me with those eyes, no they're not blue
I hate me without you
I find excuses to not show you I care
Cause If you care you show that as well
I don't know your family or friends
I don't care about the color of your hair
Just that you stay close to me,
I can't think about eternity
I hate that you're so friendly
I wonder If you think about me like I do?
Its hard to forgive you, and to forget you.
I want to start something new with him,
But he's no you

I'm sorry if I was ******* you when I said goodbye
If I hurt you by letting you see I was hurt
I mean no harm or pain
I do wish you the best
Don't believe me when I say.
I don't want to talk to you cause I do
But I can't be your friend maybe never again
I wish I could because I value your friendship so much
I wish my feelings weren't as strong
but they are bigger than I had ever known
I wish I could just take them away and we could talk like before
I feel like I lost a true friend
If you ever read this just know
that you are one of the best people I've ever known
I wish I could of told you this and so many things more
But It was time for me to let you go
I forgave you and I hope you can grow
Forgive me if I treat you like a stranger
But I have no other choice
I'm not as strong as you thought I was
If you ever read this just know
I wish you happiness and joy.

I hate it, I despise what I do.
Cause It aint true
I'm not happy, I change my mind
I wanna go back in time
And say no to all those lies
That made me become the person I am
Today, I'm Sad, lost, and depressed
Without a purpose,
Without a cause,
Without anything I care about,
Life is hard when you don't love what you do
You only wish you could fly to the moon
Or leave the world you're In
You only want to dream
About places you haven't been
Cause you're tired of living only to survive
You don't feel alive
If I could start over, erase and rewind
Maybe later, maybe Never

Should I run or should I hide?
I don't know about my life
North or south
I have no option but to choose one
But don't know which turnpike
Which montain, sea or river must be..
I've chosen the dark
The cold, the lost
The place that has never been found
It doesn't exist, It isn't a place but a state of mind
Maybe I'ts a planet of some kind
I keep searching for what?
There comes a time for each of us, were one feels alone
It wont go away, It stays with you till the end.

There's something about Him
Don't know what It is
It makes me daydream about times that
never exist
And He's not around
He'll never come to my house
But I wish to be born at that time
We shared fresh air
Goodbye , So long..
Hope you're In good place
You're Better off

Ghost Boys,

Always leaving us behind..
Roaming around,
Scaring you off then rewind

Ghost Boys

No one sees them , but they're there
With their translucent light
They always come at night

Ghost Boys,

Fear them not,
Push them away..
Or else the'll stay and never leave
Always on your Mind

Ghost Boys,

They hide in your bed, and in your car
WIthout any notice ..they come back
Making you believe in them.
But remember...
They're just a bunch of ghosts

I'm made for heartbreak
I've been blessed with cuts and bruises
No lashes for my eyes to open them wide
To discover the culprit
The Hunter , the one who preys
Who loves to see me on the floor begging for more
I' was made to know I don't belong to them
Those hearless ******* who destroy me
Using my heart as a toy
That they play with the intention to throw away

I'm confused
I can't let you in
There's a small space just for me to fit in
You can't come in
My heart's too big
What if I can't see, breath or feel?
Can you carry the weight?
Sure thing, you say.
I don't believe you just yet
There's someone else
Someone that doesn't exist
But I hang on to them
Like a life jacket on a crashing plane
Like a memory on a dying soul
Please Don't go
Cause I am broken
I just don't know how this goes
Ive never been an expert on love
You should Stay, If you care but if you dont
Please Stay away, cause Im hollow
And all this won't just dissapear
As the time goes.

She Lies In her Head
Whispers Words left unsaid
Never Thinks about the past
Just the thought of a new life
Damaging everyone, she doesn´t Care
All she feels is unhappy
I feel alive , she feels dead
It's no one's fault but hers
Take me back to your paradise
Loose Those ponytails and
Dance with your hair
Life aint simple ****
"But try to make it forth living", they said.
I try.. I try..

Im not looking for love,
But you don't offer me much
Your actions are just words
I feel obliged to say hello,
Even though I know we dont see eachother in quite sometime
But you're not my age,
You will never understand the worries inside my head
What I suffer from time to time,
Cause you never ask,
I know what It feels like
Been Used, and reused
Wont you please leave me now?
Cause I wont say goodbye
I dont know how
Feeling the pressure to keep alive something
That doesn't feel right

Have you found that thing yet?
That thing that makes you feel at peace
Have you found the meaning of your life yet?
And I'm not talking about a wife and kids.
Is something that comes at ease
Do you have that It thing?
Tell me what It is
Some people have tons of ****
And I only feel bliss
And we will never be complete
Until we find that thing
That thing inserted in your mind
That you should be someone,
Someone Important,
Otherwise you've failed as a person.

I'm thankful for not having the life I desire
For wishing for the planets to whisper in my ear
I thank the world for those trips Ive never taken
For the sadness, for the smiles that don't occur
Someday perhaps..Ill be ungrateful and not thank you
I shouldn't be
I got a optimistic spirit that wont let go
I thank you for this back pain and migraine
I don't know what I would do without you
You've given it all to me

No one wants a sad girl
I just hide and curl
No one wants to see me cry
Or complain about life
I see  people happy I wonder what that is like
To live in the moment
From time to time
I dont like to be alone
But alone I find myself
Living and wishing I was someone else
I was born like this, I remember as a child
Being alone and always saying goodbye

I work In an office with closed doors
I go out to places I don't want to go
My life consists of everything I never imagined
And Still I can't get out of it
I never chose to have this living
But for some reason It choose me
I stay up thinking about what I really wanted
About the things I would like to do on the weekends
With the imaginary friends that accompany me to
those places
I'm the person that I want to be
But people say you should be thankful for what you have
But my reality is that I wish  I was someone else
That I didn't suffer from migraines
That I didn't have to go on a diet
And I was surrounded by pets
Maybe some day when I die
I get to  live all over again
The Life and the people that made sense,

Alone is a lonely word
You take from me and I give you more
Never expecting that type of love
The one that only legends  get
Help me see myself as you see me
The wonderful me that doesn't exist
The shameless, useless me
Rescue my soul from the end
No, I don't care if you go but please come back
Help me feel empty inside
The way you always fill my heart
Tear me and bring me to pieces
So that I could never repair
Just scream, and yell and show me how much you care.

These only makes sense
Its the music in me that never ends
That melody I can't hold in for too long
Because It aches.. My heart aches
And even if I say no
Its what makes me feel alive
I don't want people to listen,
I only keep It to myself
Cause they'll take it away and make me
believe Im not part of this, when I know I am
They will crush me like they know how
Im weak, Im insecure
But Its pure, and Im empty
This feeling wraps me up

Colorblind, Drunk and Wine
You wont stand
Backing away from me
Cheers for the Memories that I made
That I wish I could forget
You never stood tall
You said my way wasnt for you
I told you I could change
Still wasnt good enough
My stomache aches
You push me away , I pull you close
I push you away, you say" please dont let go"
I dont know where we stand
I should probably let you go
But I still see you in my dreams
I knew that feeling like this couldnt last a lifetime
I Don't know how to love, neither do you
I was gonna say goodbye, but I wont

This Feeling of meaningless
Take me to the night,
Where I find my comfort
Take me to a place where my light shines
And I don't have to hide
To pretend that I'm okay
I don't know where that is
I hope to find it some day
Sleeping alone, In my dreams I find hope
I know shelters, spaces open, and wide
Take me home, If that is what home means.

I try to shut the demons that cry
I try to make you feel safe
I try to manifest that you are okay
But it never seems to help
I have done reiki, meditation, and more
Still, you feel like you don't deserve anything at all
I'm tired of living with your shadow
Since I can't control that you are so shallow
Please help me figure out what is it that you want
How can I heal this heart of mine
That you are so attached
I can't disconnect from you or the past
I wish I could turn back time
To prevent the feeling when you felt like you needed to die

No quiero que llegue mañana
Hoy está bien por hoy
Mañana me engaña
Me promete que mejora
Pero sigue siendo igual
En cambio, hoy, es simplemente Hoy
No se espera nada
Solo se disfruta, mientras se pueda
Mañana me entristece
Me envuelve y me miente
Solo quiero un hoy para siempre
Quiero no darle mente

You erased me
You threw me out like a dog
But you carried me before,
You made promises not long ago
Nothing lasts not even my smile
You blew me off and didn't explain why
I Just got a headache but no, I won't cry
You don't deserve my tears
Cause you never tried to conquer my heart
You shut the door so fast
My heavy heart became so cold
You didn't come, and you didn't go
Now, all that's left is for me to let go

Cuando el amor se acaba
Lo siento en mis venas
Cuando te alejas,
Me duele la hiel
Si no te sofoco , no peleo
Pero si me alejo, me rendí
Quien entiende el amor
Cada cual siente lo que siente no hay razón
No me importa las veces que me has roto el corazón
Solo se que sin tu amor
Me provocan sentimientos
Quiero pelear por ti,
Pero ya tu fuego se apago
Ahora me toca decir Adiós,
Hasta luego a este efímero amor
Sin explicación, sin perdón
No esperaba esta reacción , de conocerte
y sentir lo que siento
Espero que estés bien
Que encuentres tu mitad
La mía ya no se donde esta.

When the sun falls,
The moonlight shines
I can't sleep away those nights
I feel attached, I feel drawn to the times I've created a song
Only at night, I trust myself
I feel blessed
The stars are guiding lights
That show me the way to my heart
In the day, that power fades
What does his mean?
I'm not sure.. but only in the night
I want to find out more.

Can I leave this earth?
I find no meaning for it
No logical explanation of why I'm here
Suffering all the time
No one that loves me I find
Can I disappear or get lost?
Patience is no virtue of mine
Why am I in pain all the time?
Can I leave this world behind?
I take the stairs and climb the trees
I want to be happy, I just don't know how

Did you see her pass by with all the sass?
It isn't me
I only  see heavens , stars and clouds
Did you ever mentioned love?
I don't remember, I wasn't aware you noticed me at all
Never a keeper, Always reacher
I need a hall pass for this life
Waiting for another
Those things wont happen
The universe can't hold me
You surely didn't want to
Again inside those little worlds
That deteriorate my soul
They're getting bigger now as we grow old
Stop the world for a second
Let me hold my breath
Let me believe that I'm someone they care for

I kick you out of my world
And you stay
You introduce me to yours
Signs you show that are telling me to go
Run away because you don't want me here with you
Push and pull
Sick-cycle carousel
Wonderful days and ****** nights
Leaving me perplexed
What is it that you want?
Is it someone new, is it to destroy me too?
I've been broken before thats for sure
I dont break that easily , I dont come undone
Battle after battle I've won.
You won't destroy me , you won't
I got better plans for the world
I wont let anybody tell me that I'm wrong
My heart is one, its a whole
I just realize that I'm better off alone.

Love shouldn't be this callous
I've never cried so much in my life
You celebrate the lies, I scorn the Trust
Teach me a lesson and break my soul
Sounds like a plan
Go ahead, be cold and distant
I can take all the punches
I hate to say goodbye
But you just love to see me cry
Is that the way you think it should be?
You can never hurt somebody so many times
That instead of holding on, they let you go.

Going back and fourth with my  journey
Should It matter where you go?
Overthinking about the past
Clogging my future
Remember to **** those memories
Keep walking but where?
Does It matter anyways?
How you handle yourself?
What shoes you wear, the color of your hair?
This moment just passed but
I'm clinging on it with my jaws

Woke up with anxiety in my bed
I can't leave my fears for dead
I keep thinking about things I don't have but I want
I keep thinking about being lonely instead
I wanna be positive and feel like the rest
I wanna be happy and joyful
But my thoughts won't leave me
They won't go
I wanna enjoy this vacation I wanted for so long
I need to exercise more
To in the present moment
But I have my energy underground
My piercing won't work
My headaches are saying hello
Life is hard but some people have it worse
Why can I just be thankful, oh Lord?!

My eye hurts
Just like your distance
Feeling trapped in my mind
Cant even tell you that I don't feel alright
My bad thoughts eat my good thoughts
And this headache, oh my.
When will someone love me like this?
I hide in the darkness of my room
I can't even see the moon
Perpetual feelings of loneliness
I want to feel like I belong
At least in your world
I need me to survive
Keep me close so I don't die
Maybe tomorrow, Ill feel alright
Or maybe this battle is lost , because It never begun.

No turning back now
I asked for space and the Universe
You wanted to draw me close
I couldnt handle this Love that grew
It was stronger than a Tsunami
and Just as Damaging
Picking fights since the beginning
I decided to let you go , and you said I love you
You wanted to be there but I waited till
I was alone cause I didnt want you so close
Everyone says I should let you go
But I'm in love.
No turning back from this feeling that has no meaning
I will let you go, on my terms and I dont know if the time is now.
I keep telling myself you arent for me
But my heart keeps telling me please dont let him go.
But now you've found someone new.
Maybe She's better for you
Maybe she'll take care of you

I shout out to the mountains that I long to see you
You're out there by the river with your headphones
I bring you gifts but they get lost in the mail
I cry out for you, but you never come
I miss you, I miss you, but you dont miss me
You don't want me,
I hate it, I hate it, Are you telling me to go?
Why arent you honest like before?
I think about you every moment
But is it worth it?
You tell me you want to see me and then push me away
Are you playing games?
And if you are can you tell me which game it is , so I can
play it too?
I dont play games but Ill do it for you.

Esta distancia me deja una marca
Una herida punzante
Y los meses pasan y el amor florece
Y mi cuerpo te pide a voces
No se como olvidarte si mi hobby es recordarte
Me siento como una niña tonta
Deseando que vuelvas pero a donde?
Tener miedo de encontrarte
Estoy de amarte es lo mas grande
Espero perdondarme
Por dejarte entrar tan adentro
Por permitirte tomar de mi pelo
Todo el dia lloro y me desvelo
Y creo superarte
Cuando llega un recuerdo vuelvo a llorarte
No espero cambiarte ni me trates como antes
Solo espero algun dia de mi mente borrarte

This love is endless
The whirlwind that began
The sorrow that never left
I can't accept this kind of love
It breaks my heart and soul
I can't see clearly the road
I'm obsessed with this Venom of love
It's all the toxicity that I don't want
But that I know
You won't change me, I won't change you
We won't see what's in front of our eyes
Should I respond to your sorry's?
Or should I cry to myself at night
leaving behind this pain that tucks me in at night
My heart knows nothing
I can't trust it,
who will guide me through with this veil?

I clung to you, no matter how many fights we had
I know we aren't right for each other
But I didn't want to let you go, I wanted to take on whatever you gave to me
I thought this was true love, but from moments I had my doubts about you went back and forth
But the thought of missing you was stronger than a fort
We have so many things in common, I cherish your goodwill
But something was off, I knew it from the start
Was it your lack of concern, your critical words or even how you never watched the reruns?
We tried, we longed, we had enough time to decide if this was gonna work out.
I saw your insecurities from afar and I also saw mine.
Is it impossible for us to find common ground?
You were spontaneous, but I love to make plans
I feel bad to cause you  suffering but I tried
We just weren't on the same side
I hope I can let you go because I never loved you at all
You were probably right not to trust me cause I never brought you home

I was okay, and all of a sudden You hit my head
The weird thing is I think I don’t have a self-steam
And all this love for you is so genuine I don’t even care you didn’t treat me right
Wishful thinking that you would show up somehow with a million roses and balloons and tell me that you love me and can’t live without me  But that sure isn’t happening.
It’s over and It happened so soon. My head is in the clouds, I need my heart somewhere up there to, so this pain doesn’t feel so real.
Everyone says is for the best, he wasn’t the one. Why doesn’t my heart believe that?
I don’t remember the I love you’s on your voice. The last thing you said was that you wanted to be friends, I can’t not now, maybe not ever. Sure, maybe someday. I’m friendly with that ex that I swore I would never talk to ever again.
It’s been almost two weeks since I said goodbye and I just wonder when will the sun come out for me? When will there’ll be no more pain?
I want to remember the bad things, like those times you disappeared for days and didn’t say hello, you were so selfish to let go, while I was sobbing waiting for you to come home.
I think you wanted me gone and were doing all this to push me away. To find a way to get rid of me was treating me like ****.
Now, I am gone, alone.  Alone again, alone.
It’s so easy for people to fall in love, not me, and not with me.  I never heard you say those words.
Why am I so hard to love? I try to be a good person, to help people, to love people and I just don’t get the same in return.

I'm sorry I've let you down
Im not as strong as I should be
I'm fighting my own battles
Trying to not take things personal
But I fail each time
I let my guard down
I dont limit myself and others
I'm a mess
But I keep trying everyday
Even though it never seems to get better
Somedays are good and some days are blue
But Im trying each day
I hope I can learn to love myself
To hold myself in high standards
Wait for it
I know you go this, my dear

I gave you my whole soul
You gave me your broken pieces
You took a loan, you never paid it
It hurts to see you don't keep your word
Hello and goodbye that's all we ever say to each other
Please keep your promises or I'll die
Once and for all, please leave those vices behind
I keep holding on the past where you left me on the floor crying
Even if you said you were sorry, I keep it all inside
My head hurts today, and tomorrow and forever
I wanna cry cause it heals
My heart is so broken, I don't even know
I know life is short, but these emotions keep afloat
I can barely breathe, God, show me the way to heal
otherwise, I don't know how to live

This hollow sensation feeling so numb
When will this pain be gone?
Afternoons on a Sunday welcomes my demise
Chillin on a Friday makes my heart stop
Will this misery last forever?
Only happiness meets joy
When lonely people dissipate their minds in the club
I don't wanna feel endless and empty
I wanna feel whole again
At least once, at least tonight
Just for a moment

How do you fight your own battles
Do you tell yourself you are capable of anything?
I dont think Im good for much
I have these thoughts about not being perfect enough
How do I turn them off?
When can I be me without feeling so guilty?
I struggled as a kid with my own self
And now I feel the same things that I did back then
I feel unwanted, and no matter how much I write
Those feelings don't go away
How do you heal one's self?
How do you care for yourself?
How do you stop fighting with your brain?
All these questions
Does someone know?
Am I just helpless on my own?

Once again you pushed me away
When will I learn to stay in my place?
Dealing with loneliness and fear
You are not one to call dear
I just want to be close to you but you dont want me there
How can I be so obssessed with someone who doesnt care?
Im feeling tired and burned out
I feel like Im dead
When will I learn to let go of these feelings?
When will I move on?
It doesnt hurt you to see me sad
You just get mad
You are the worst person I fell for
How can I get over you?
When you feed on my betrayal and hurt my truth?
I never learned that those who hurt you are no good

This Sunday is my demise
Alone in the dark
No one to call my own
Just expectations from people
Just requirements of help
My heart is shattered
I hate Sundays, I really do
It reminds me I'm not for you or for anyone
I keep trying to do good
I don't deserve anything at all
I came into this world to suffer
I came to this life to pay
This feeling of emptiness that doesnt go away
I see the moon, and I see myself alone out there
Asking for help
But no one hears me, no one can see me
I'm all alone in my shell
Waiting for someone to save me
But no one comes
No one is there
I eat some ice cream
I drive around
And my heart beats faster than the speed of light
I don't know what else to do
Life is meaningless, Life is blue
For some people like me and you

I want to tell you, that you are valued and you are true,
You try your hardest to be this woman that has no clue
Please know you are loved
And understand that things will turn out in the end
No matter how many people turn you down
You still got yourself and that is all that counts
Always look up at the sky
Remember its okay to cry
Keep treating yourself like you are special
And help me welcome a new space in your heart
Where the only one who matters is you, my love