chest tightening
pressure building
here we go again

throat closing
panting
coughing
crying
can't breathe
why does this
always happen?

head pounding
heart racing
mind buzzing
all i did
was say your name
out loud

How do I get over the past,
when it was supposed to be my future you and I were meant to last
So don't ask me for my heart back when you've thrown it in my face.
cleansed of your fingerprints, you didn't even leave a trace.
It's frustrating.
how trusting I am of your loving hands
that caressed someone else.
I'm just stressed, Can not stop thinking
Thinking about her lips on your lips
instead of my name.
I'd give anything now
for things to be the same
as they were
And there's really no cure
for love.
It's a miserable thing
no matter how lovable how kissable
I need to be closer
A tattoo on your skin
But even as ink I'd never soak in
deep enough.
Its a miserable thing, this thing we call love.
You don't have to believe in us
because
I know it's unlikely
The fact you even think of me is striking.
Just tell me you're willing to try
You're killing me,
I cry and I cry
How in the world do you sit there dry eyed

© copyrighted Nicole Ann Osborn

You & I,
are a lullaby

We're the deafening *silence
just after the crash
we are moments of happiness
that never last

We're a riddle
that has no answer
we are both the cure
and the cancer

We've read this book
a thousand times, and in our hearts
we both know this fairytale
can never have a happy ending

I'm made of all;
The books I've ever read
Poems I've ever written
Faces who have smiled at me
Hugs that have wrapped around me
Caresses that have graced my inner thigh
Countries & continents my feet have touched
The lovers as we simultaneously reach ecstasy within
Lonely nights shedding tear drops
Nights gazing black skies moon & stars
Children falling asleep to my heartbeat
Animals whose soul was found through reflective eye stares
Conversations spoken in French, Spanish, Italian, Xhosa, Afrikaans, Norwegian, German
Years of ******-, cognitive-, dialectical-, art-, drama-, music-, mindfulness-, trauma-, psychiatry-; therapies
The drinks & drugs & mind altering substances dispersing my mind
In all I'm made of;
Love
Lust
Greed
Fear
Joy
Freedom
Longing
Dreams
Despair
Sadne­ss
Anger
Frustrations
Happiness
Anxieties
Insecurities....

In all I'm made of;

A soul; securely contained within a body of battled scars;
over;
pain & triumphs, losses & gains, rejections & acceptances, dishonours & accolades...

With the hope; she too, can live life through.

© Sia Jane