I'm still a child,
in most senses.

I would be one to say no child deserves to die.
And so I don't deserve to die.

I want to write honestly.
Speak the truth.
I want to stare in a mirror
and see anyone but you.

I want to love out loud
and speak my feelings, too.
I'm not the kind of brave
that counts, no matter what I do.

I wish it wasn't almost over
that I had more time to spend.
I want to speak words into facts,
to stand tall but only ever bend.
I'm working toward a finish
but only coming to an end.

They said love is a melodious song,
A rhythm felt by two lost souls.
But in a world so materialistic,
Maybe love, too, is an illusion—
Sometimes you're in, sometimes you're not.

They said love is a bird’s soft chirp,
A peaceful echo lingering near.
But when the bird fell silent,
It was just another mirage,
A fleeting sound meant to disappear.

They said it all so true,
But fairytales know it well—
That song is fading,
A tune I wish would never end.

Growing old
is nothing more than
the lengthening
of one's shadow
as it
stretches into
eternity and
is seen no more

Today I looked at my belly, and said

I hate you.

Tomorrow, just a little less.

i'm breathing fast
i'm seeing the past
things i don't want to remember
hit me like a blast

anxiety rising
breath denying
i'm hearing their words
i feel like i'm dying

their words hit me like a stab
i crunch like a crab
that they stepped on
i feel a jab

words bleed out of my chest
as i remember what i don't want to
i'm not ready
wait... just let me

try
to
forget