Stray cats dreaming of leftover nibbles
gather when I feed the cats I call my pets.

Wistfully they look at the chewing jaws
that would pick clean the fish from rice
and maybe leave at most a half morsel.

The tomcat I wrote about some while ago
has not since been seen
breathing only as a lingering ache uncomfortably undefined.

But I know from the crop of the present visitors
some I would sniff in the next mango laden summer
with opaque diamonds in my eyes.

the heavy heart is a heathen
corrupter of better nature
committer of soul-treason

fueled by the miserable notion
that death is twilight
and life is dawn

to flight, to flail
to rage, to rail
to weep, to wail
to no avail

to unhope

and all of this minus the mercy

©Jason Cole

Find solace in solitude,
There is no shame in that.
We are unknown to ourselves
An ocean to which we delve.
Scarcely coming up for air,
Entangled in fathoms
Whirlpools of despair.
Waves of introspection
Spare us shallow reefs,
Yet cast us into darkness
And the horrors of the deep.

When your ex,
Texts you on some..
"Babyyyy where you been?
I miss you and i need you, always feel you like the wind"....

**** you left me though?..
Why'd you even save my phone?..
I thought we went our separate ways i thought that we were grown?..

That's when she calls me up, && i smell it in her tone..
If only she knew, Alcohols a quick escape and not a home..

Shes like..
"Naaaa nah bruh,
ive only dranken just a lil.....
But in honesty,
like really we should go on dr.phil.."

Proceeds, on some..

"i need a ride, whats for dinner, why dont we go visit moms"
playing the Weeknd, on a weekend, its The Same Old Song.

i always pick her up, and drop her off at Katie's..
******, like **** you know **** well she can get this crazy!
Now Katie's mad like, "****, you be her roommate then!"
I'm like, that was the plan but that **** caved in..

Well, this will probably happen again next week, & the week after.
what a long, sad and repetitive chapter..
i mean to most drunk texting is a matter of laughter,
but it leads me to drunk text her back & attack her...

On some,
"Babeeee where you been...
I miss you and a need you, & i feel you like the wind.."

Shes like..we talked about this before..you never hit me up when your sober.

I'm like,
"nor do you, so so so when you coming over?"

She hangs up. .
Happens twice a month.
im sober when shes drunk..
& when shes sober im a chump.

relationship? Or relation-****?
Either way,
Far from a REALationship.

But i guess you can say, at least we speak it could be worse...
by the way, later today its my turn to text her first..




-afj

born poverty stricken, 
she lay her head on no mattress..
still she sung along to mary j. blige, like religious practice..

Stronger with each tear was the motto,
&so; she shed..
Because its hard to have dreams when you don't have a bed..

Its hard to have food for thought when you cant afford bread.
& the local Goodwill is dead..

Her speech was absurdly intact, & well spoken.
you would assume a girl trapped like that, wouldn't be open,
Yet.
Just 14, she showed potential of a graduate, beyond bachelors.
&& in our city record deals are the only time we owned Masters.

beneath those hazel eyes. there lies an old soul,
told, 
by her surroundings her future was a pole. 
bold, 
in her approach, how she stripped away the cold.
now dances in the daisies, dodging Hades, never sold.

&this; is no figment of imagination,
how her eyes hazel pigment, 
had the power to judge a nation.

Because she woke up daily, prepared as **** for that math test..
Though she was born poverty stricken, lay her head on no mattress..




-afj