To love and be loved, with no limits. no questions or hesitations, no double standards.... to just feel the warm feeling inside when all things good happen. To wear a smile and not have to question if it's real. Life is too short to waste it with tears, sadness, unanswered questions. Are we living to die or dying to live? Nowadays we gotta live like we're dying because tomorrow is never promised and this just might be our last day here.... To feel the sun on our faces, wind in our hair, soft lips of our other half, laughter piercing our stomachs.... what is all that? If you have to think about what happiness is and wish you had it, then are you really happy at all... to think about all the good that can be instead of living it, are you really living? We all live in the same world but different lives, different stories, different paths.... but we all have one destiny, some just chose it sooner than it's time. To end you're story it takes a lot, but one can only hold in so much pain, so much tears, sitting in the dark hoping someone hears their cries and saves them from the monsters in their heads.... monsters usually win, I know mines almost did. To love and be loved is a wild thing, something rare.. not all stories have happy endings or those amazing love story endings, they usually end in sadness or some kind of turn around miracle..... at least that's how mines seems to be going, I found a miracle in a guy he showed me there's more to life than ending my story.. he showered me with love and gratitude and to this day he still does, he put the pen back in my hand and inspired me to continue my story, with him being apart of it..... I have days where I want to put the pen down and give in to temptation to end my story where it is, but life is too precious, he is too precious, MY LIFE is too precious.... I must go on... I chose to continue my story to the rhythm of my heart, and when that beat stops so will my story...

In the darkness, I am still loved. In the darkness, I still have hope. I still pray. I still have an easy way out, but I don't take it, because if I do, others will to, and if I do, I will never learn to FORGIVE, and HOPE, and LOVE. I will never learn to not be afraid. But with you God, I will learn to TRUST, to be HAPPY, and to be OKAY. With you, I am learning to correct my mistakes, and to HEAL, and to heal OTHERS. I will always need you, but, I am trying to learn how to depend on myself, and I will, just not now. But I know, I, will be, OKAY.

In my head, I have walked into some dark rooms. In my heart, it has stopped beating and died a few times. My soul has gotten lost. My eyes have dried of tears. My emotions numb, my skin hurt. I begin to put up a wall, a false persona. The beautiful woman you see today who is always smiling. The beautiful woman you see today who has it all together. What hides inside, makeup can cover up. No one can look at me and see the loneliness, how much I crave affection, how much I crave what's real, how much I crave a friend. In this generation I feel lost. I feel alone. I feel no faith. Today, I focus on myself. Today, I love myself hard.... because no one else has.