how sweet it must be
to feel all the pain at once
      then, never again

─ m.j

I thought I was clean
but I found sky colors on my skin
The cold wind knocked my broken window,
wanted to drown me in another sorrow
Fake faces mourned for a week
and I fell to the bleakness of my own weak
I swallowed those happy pills
but everything just led me to the empty hills
Heaven was never the home for all the demons made from my bones

when my son was younger
he asked -

how old are the mountains
from where did the First People come
why does the sun sleep in the ocean
what is the color of rain

now that my son is older
stronger, wiser and bolder
he asks -

how old are the mountains...
...what is the color of rain


some things don't change.

I wanna stop wondering what if '
I wanna start knowing what is'


-second chance

Can you teach me how to smoke,
At the indoor pool?
Cannabis and chlorine
On a night so cool.
I can ditch the white pills
Without crushing the moon,
If you can roll something up
Without killing the mood.
         What's left to prove
If it's just me and you?
I mean, you and I
Decide
If we have any rules.
We can feel, we can chill.
We can deal with the truth.
                   Cannabis and chlorine.
Fuse green with the blue.
Cannabis and chlorine.
A mixture of hues.
All you gotta do
Is make my lungs so confused.
Cannabis and chlorine,
When it's just me and you.
Can you teach me how to smoke
At the indoor pool?