Hey Mr. I used to say
Hows your morning
hows your day 

Your my wisdom my teacher my caregiver

When I need you, you said you'd be there
 
I did my best as a kid to give you attention and appreciation for the simple life I lived

Presents and notes to show I cared
 
Thank you cards of admiration and words of ill always be there

I was a kid, it was pretty much all I could give
 
Mr. you said one afternoon were going out to dinner when I get home
then I remember how you bailed
That’s ok Mr. I know your busy  
You would say then Mr., maybe tomorrow if time permits me
 
I remember Mr. a few times you said get ready in a while we will go shopping… 

But we never did 
Maybe tomorrow Mr. said  

I know now its better not to hold my breath 

Help me pick up this house Mr. said 

But I am tired and on my way to bed…
 
Ill do it tomorrow I promise 

To that Mr. replied tomorrow never comes
 
And he went on to explaine, tomorrow there will be tomorrow… And another one…
 
Out in the world now 
No longer a girl...
 
Hey Mr. I  hate to ask… 
But I need your help and I need it fast 
The bills are do, my checks on its way but I need to pay my bills today 

I know tomorrow my check will arrive I can pay you first thing in the morning
 
I remember you were fast to say I'd  help you.....

but you would learn nothing and then you would say...
 
you say you will pay me tomorrow…  
but I know better if you need money now tomorrow you will be no better off

Sorry Mr. your probably right…  
I'll be ok its just one day and one night...

you were strict all my life, but you taught me well to never count on anyone…
never…
not ever in my life will I be optimistic

I'll never be anything, but protected and shelterd

forever never free all my days...

when I was a kid...

I remember it all to well

you gave me what I needed… 
and nothing els 
no memories of fun
no memories of any extra attention...

sometimes I feel you as cold as ice  
Mr. I remember I'd  often look at you twice
 
You never smiled you were always in a rush
 
I was a child and in the way… 
Way to much... 

Mr. I wish I learned your lesson sooner
that you were a promise maker...  
and most importantly a promise breaker
 
I know you may have not meant it,
but finaly…
I finaly learned your lesson, Tomorrow never never comes
 
And Mr. when you say Ill be there for you tomorrow…
 
I know now tomorrow never comes 

Still Mr.
I love you today… 
I love you forever,
but never tomorrow.. 
Never ever
 
Ill continue to wait though for you to come around to all the love I gave

All my love you never found 

Ill wait today…  
I'll wait forever 
Ill even wait for you tomorrow again  
even though I know tomorrow will never end……

If only everyone could appreciate all of our heroes

The ones who left home to protect home, not just the ones who fight here in our homeland in our streets

Love is protection and protection bitter sweet

Cold as ice

I should have known

You turn on your emotions like a light switch

Ever so safe

How I wish you could feel my sadness right now

Cuz it will be nothing compared to the loss you will feel when I walk out

But you think I'm crazy & dumb

And you believe I'll get over everything

Maybe I might...

But, maybe today, maybe tomorrow

I'll leave this place and let go of my sorrow

I know you believe that this game will last forever

But I'm not dumb like you think....

I just love you

I might cry, but freedom will give me happiness

you will be the one to realize you shouldn't have taken my love for granted

I might be older
I might be bigger
But I'm still a prize
And I'm still beautiful

I might be hurt right now

But your hurt won't start till I leave 

I might be hurt right now, but your hurt won't start till I can breath

Why was I gifted with intelligence if it won't allow me to fix or make sense of our shattered lives

I feel ignorant to everything as memories and thoughts embrace and drown my mind

I gasp for air and fight to sort them, but they come in so fast and strong...

I can barely keep my head above this harsh tide

Life you curse me

Then you punish by taunting me with the slightest hope
of an answer

Like the moon I can see...

Still ever so far as to touch or explore, as it passes when it fades with day

My mind is there just as the moon, but it's only use is to  help me survive
barely giving me enough strength and hope to linger

If I can't use my wisdom to help me, help her....

Take my mind

Make me dumb

Make me numb

Just don't leave me helpless

Give me something to give her

Or give all of my strength... every ounce of wisdom,
all that makes my heart beat, and smile

Give it to her
leave me none
Make her mend make her whole
Or simply make it not so....

My heart stopped as I gasped for air

At first silence...

Followed by an uncontrolled cry

It must have been torcher for thoughs who heard the cry

They know to...

That there's nothing anyone can do

Rip out my heart, please

I can't take the pain inside of me

What should I do when there's nothing I can do

I'll hold it in, so I can think

I know there has to be something.....

There's has to be

I prayed like I do every day, but today when I prayed...

I prayed questioning God...

I prayed asking why, instead of being greatful
I prayed for strength for many but most for her

This poem speaks of my pain

And without words my deepest fear

But this poems not mine

Because I could never love,
or cry out for me
like I did for her

As I write I hold myself from from weeping

I write with a lump in my throat and a pain stricken heart
A mask of strength on my face and so many words inside

Help me...
help her please...

And as I write I still can't believe...

And as I write I'm strong
I hold back most of my tears...

and put an end to this poem...

With all this mess that we made
I'm not sure if there's anything left to save

As we try not to sink
I believe it's our struggling for air that drags us beneath

Proving were right or wrong
the question of faith

I'm afraid it's pushing us closer to hate

Will we survive

Will love conquer all

Will we ever agree and be happy
Or will we continue to fall

I remember falling when I found you
I never knew we might part or that I'd fall when losing you

Take this heart and save me the time

Let me know the future

Will he still be mine

Let me cry now
I'll flood the world

Then I'll be okay,
me, free
and a happy girl


If the future holds you in it
Let us get past this

Let us see, hear, love, forgive

Let us be us
not you or just me

Let us be honest and free of secrets

Just let the us part simply be

Let us not be blind
and let us not take our love for granted
If were meant to be let us simple be forever together happy