Your my world
my sun, and moon,
my water, my air,
my food to

With you here, by my side
I know not fear or sorrow

Only loves bright light

I can't express all that I feel

I can only say that it's something that heals

It's difficult to write of you

My minds so cluttered with thoughts I fail to find words as beautiful as you....

And so instead I'll write something true.....

Your my baby, my heart and soul
Your all that mushy stuff that the word love holds

With what few words I have found, you should know

I love you like that cheesy line.... from head to toe

I was saved years ago

Saved from the drugs and crime I was so close to finding

All the abuse and sorrow I lived was now fading slowly, as he grew like a seed inside this teen kid

All the hopelessness slipped away

I had a reason to behave

Forced to grow up far to early

Today I'm exactly who I was meant to be

I'm a mom...

A few times over

But he's my first experience with pride...

The very first true joy in my life

People say I was brave to raise a child

Truth is he gave me purpose

He gave me life

All of the pain I almost drowned in, almost gave in to...

All the me that was left,
he found and saved me to

And he did this from simply existing in my whom

That little boy gave me the will to learn from my lifetime movie past

My angel, my heart, the first boy to steal my heart

The night you were born it rained so hard

It washed away any chance of being consumed by the dark

Loves the best thing in the world and you are my proof

Heart you babe......

I love you

I'm here, but I'm not

Consumed by my own demons and yours

Weakened by my past and afraid of my future

Forever dumb, useless

Digging my own grave using fear as my shovel, and love as my soil

I'm sure I'll have a beautiful funeral with lots of tears

Of course I won't notice till I'm there

With life's struggles I still loved and caring came effortless

It's myself I can't figure out

Pride for myself is honestly pride for others...

I know my value is somewhere in my mind, but fear and failure are far to strong

I'm ok

I live for the love I give

As long as they know thier loved and safe

I'm accomplished in the best way

God put me here to bask in love

My pain is the hurt of the world

The ones I protect myself from and pray for

Loved ones, your ever so close, but most of you are blind and until I die and you find my life's notes.....
You will never know

That's ok.
I'm ok.

I lived for your not your praise

As I fade from your site

I slip slowly away from the light

It's so cold in this place

It screams silence so loud my thoughts are forced into a paranoid, irrational state

With time I'm hot with bitter anger
Frustrated, because your a stranger

I'm now that girl you called crazy
the very one you pushed away and isolated

I hate myself for playing your game

I hate you for bringing me so much pain

You sit so high on your thrown

Looking back...

I should have known

I'm a little crazy

I must admit

And it's not so cold now where I sit
All that hate and shame I felt...
Its all yours now...
And no one els

Take what you are and make it real

Never hold in what you feel

Cut to the chase and be free

Don't let anyone tell you who you should be

Open up don't waste time

Remember the opportunities you may let pass you by

Pretending to be what they believe is right will only lead your unhappy life

Take what you feel and embrace who you are

Forget people who won't accept you

discover the ones that appreciate you

Be you the best you, you know

Go out into the world and enjoy life
and attract the kind of people who will support you and be proud by your side

They say loss gets easier.... But years later my heart cries along with my eyes....

Had I known

I had would of wrote her more letters and many poems

I would have used our time wisely,
And hugged her much more tightly

I would have forced her to take a deep breath

To truly relax and admire all the beauty she inspired

Had I known I'd let the rivers of love, appreciation, respect, and pride flow....

And flow....

Had I known.....

I would have never let her go.....