step right up to this broken machine
she'll take anyone
look at this queen
she's shiny and new with smiles so bright
every step she takes is light
her colours are more than a rainbow can boast
she has more than any
she has the most
they drift in the wind and fall from her fingers
her joy is infectious
she's contentment's dead ringer

this machine never stops
that's why its so popular
people will travel far
there is no other
none so dedicated to her job as this
she's a volunteer so surely she loves it
but a crisis strikes every once in a while
the machine won't admit it, she's in denial
but her colour store is personally supplied
if she told you it's abundant, surely she lied

this machine has colours she enjoys sparing
but to spend her whole life as this machine is daring
machines must be turned off
must be unplugged
this machine never does because help is her drug
she goes and she goes until she overheats
her colours start melting
they run through the streets
these runaway colours are scooped up and scrounged
meanwhile the machine is left on the ground
she rusts while it rains, there on the ground

no regard for the girl whose rainbow
seems to be gone
look how she lays so
curled up and crying but not from her loss
crying because her aid is the cost
with no regard for herself she whispers
"if I take a break, look at who suffers"
but the rainbow too must be regrown
it can only take time and care and sweet tones
encouraging words to let her know
she's not alone, she will never be thrown
from this world with contempt
because love exists
but love may not always come to you free
sometimes there is just one fee
it isn't much... just to ask

when everything is working against you it's hard to stand up. society and your own mind are like gravity ten times stronger than what you experience every day. all the predispositions and beliefs and your religion and your ethics cling to your wrists and your feet and they drag you down until your skull vibrates with pain. and all you can think is my country did this to me. my geographic location is killing me. and if only i were from here or from there or from thither or yon then where would be be? better. standing? maybe. i would like to think so. some say they know so. i'll never know though. your upbringing is a brace and a shape that you take and it's set before you birth. it's a gift and a poison seeping through your veins, controlling your hands and your feet to do the thing you're told is right and keeping at bay those thoughts that make you think things unacceptable to a crowd. well i say undo yourself. cut away those puppet strings and let them fly like ribbons from your free hands. they will colour your dance of independence and show the masses they are ***** and you will be an inspiration to all. just wait. if you fall you fall. maybe it will be worth it because you got to dance and they didn't.

how could this have happened? america was once the city of oz gleaming green in the distance as a hand of liberty reached out to ellis island. we were strong and proud and a country made of immigrants. a melange of ideals and talents that made it unique and beautiful and a portrait of diversity. but then it all came crashing down. we were going to have a proof. she would show that we are who we say we are and we are unafraid and we love and accept but all that came crashing down. suddenly a tornado of hate sweeps in and our progress comes crashing down. away with everything good and in with the stupidity and the unreason and the uniformed of the next four years. oh but worry not he will surely listen and respect you. simply name it and it's yours. but not if you're a man manlover. or a woman womanlover. or if you're a queen. or if you're a beautiful foreigner. or if you're a hardworking traveler. or if you're of a different anything. he will disrespect you because you are not as good as him. or different. of a different gender or race. if you are not orange, you are not worthy. but we can do this we can speak out. we will walk across our great land and manifest destiny to right the wrongs that have been done. everyone who holds this traitor up is everyone who has been shamed and we will not hold up someone who intends to bring us crashing down. we will open ellis island again and receive a flood of losers like us.

i got so lost that night
so lost
i cut all my hair off
i paced around my room
it felt so unfamiliar
the turf here was new
but in that being lost was something vaguely safe
it was like i was so lost that i was comfortable
i was so lost that i suddenly understood
that being completely lost is comforting
because finally
now that you know
at least you can start to find yourself
from ground zero

I stood flat-footed upon an eroding hill

Here the sweet peas, on tip-toe for a fight
With wing of coarsest black o'er delicate night
And spiteful fingers grasping at all beauty
To bind us all in deeds unworthy

Oh, toxic wind and fertile rain
Disperse the fragrance of this pain
In healing gardens root a seed
Sprout the bliss we sorely need

This tiny pulse of life we hold
Thrives in soil tilled with love
And tender vines create a bower
Of sweet pea tended, brought to flower


I stand bare foot on an erupting volcanic mount

Here the sweet peas, on tip toe for a flight
With wing of justice verity o’er delicate sight
And nails that compassionately snowball serenity
To bind us all with concord and altruism

Oh, acidic rain share the tears
Wash thy tainted eye-sight
Then crux us in the high-yield land
As we germinate to heaven’s height

The seed so robust and fertile
A shell encased with human forms
The greenness of reflected sextile
Oh Sweet pea, our mirrored storm



Inspired by a stanza from Keats' poem:

I stood tip-toe upon a little hill

Here are sweet peas, on tip-toe for a flight:
With wing of gentle flush o’er delicate white,
And taper fingers catching at all things,
To bind them all about with tiny rings."

think of ice cream melting so you have to lick it off the sides of the cone

think of holding hands with a boy for the first time

think of being *****- not a gross ***** but ***** like you worked so hard today that you deserve this 800 calorie meal

think of the sounds of summer when you close your eyes, of a slight wind and the chimes that they blow about on your grandmother's porch

and speaking of grandmothers, and their porches, think of how you discovered watercolours in that very place

and think of coming home from a long day at the pool and watching the rain on your porch while you feel your skin cool down and you drink that amazing caramel tea

think of climbing the tree to get to the wall to climb on the garage roof and watch the clouds roll in over the mountains

think of the feel of the first time you got to hold a baby bunny and how in a way this made you see God

think of that feeling when you hiked the mountain even though your hip was broken and you got to the top and said 'i did it'

think of when you swam in the ocean and all your troubles ran off into the water and left you forever because the water was the pacific

think of putting on all that makeup and your prom dress just because you felt like it

think of dancing in the rain with your sister when the grass smelled sweet and the dirt was soft like a carpet and you felt at one with the world

think of cooking when billie holiday belts it from a record player and you sip red wine and pop the tomatoes in your mouth and your curls dangle in your vision

think of running off stage and getting high fived and glowing because you just successfully became someone else for a scene

think of that wonderful little secret joy you get from seeing that look he gives you when you're not looking... he just doesn't know you're staring at a glass reflection

think of how you have no money and the waitress is at one time annoyed with you because you can't afford a milkshake but grins as she walks away because she was that crazy kid too

think of the love you feel on your birthday when so many people made a special time to buy you something they think you'll like. even if you don't

think of falling asleep in the arms of someone you love and feeling like everything is in the perfect place and you are safe

think of the way cathedrals go up and up in the gothic style and how you understand the phrase heavenly light and feel yourself become weightless as you lean your head back

think of being cuddled in a soft blanket with hot chocolate while it snows, how you know your cheeks are pink and nose is rosy but it's all due to the world baring winter with you

think of thanksgiving and family and eating so much but being together because you are from the same people and you share blood and you are bound

think of swinging around your new haircut because you have nothing touching your shoulders and it ends so quickly and is new

think of drinking wine with your girlfriends in your pajamas and being classy together

think of backpacking through europe and how the locals know you are there to experience the real stuff and not some tour bus nonsense that never lets you stop at this little cafe you want to love

think of finishing a long book that shows wear on the covers that lets everyone know you smelled it paid so much attention to it for so long

think of falling asleep after a long day and knowing you deserve it and you are happy and all the bad is gone from your life. You've coughed out the demons and cried out the poison and you're now a week sober of sadness and everything is getting better and it's not even uphill from here, it's a sleigh ride now