That moment when you know you just can't breathe
The moment when you completely lost control of who you are
See not many people have that true honesty to confess this.
I know this because I know what's it like to  be this sad
The constant feeling of whether you are good enough
Oh and don't forget the constant panic attacks that haunt you
You start to wonder why you are where u are
You start to wonder how
is it that so many people are ok
To be honest I am not okay
I've said this millions of times
But how is a person ok when they know that their whole world is falling down
How is it that I can still never find the secret to success
My mind is locked away in a series of codes
Codes that I can never find
I wonder if I died today, would people be ok
Would people be happy that I'm gone
Would they cheer at the fact that I am no longer here to annoy them
This morning I had that thought
The thought of what if I died today
I told my parents I didn't feel good
I told them I'm not okay
My mother told me to stop being dramatic
How do I control this please tell me how
Please help me,
When I cry I never know whether it's because I'm dramatic or is it because I'm just depressed
To tell you the truth, I am depressed
I'm depressed… I do not know why though
I'm stuck
I'm so depressed that I've learned to wear a mask already
Like mother like daughter, some might say
Or would They simply say …. Well I don't know what else to say
I don't know how to be the person I was before. I'm not the same. Ik that we constantly grow
But do we grow so much that you can't even recognize yourself in the mirror
Ik I've told this before but when I look at myself in the mirror all I see is a face and a mirror
I no longer see a girl with a dream
I no longer see that girl with a bright smile
I have completely changed
I've been told i am honest
Idk if I was ever this honest

Red dirt haunts the bottom of your boots
All of your curiosity cannot be contained in one suit
You will do the things most men dream of.
You will colonize a land unknown.
I asked you what your dream was
And you said you wanted to go to the stars above
Apparently Mars has always been your dream home
You want to colonize that red speck in the sky
And believe me, I know how good you can colonize
I mean you’ve already taken over my heart
Your footprints will stay there even if we were to part
Your words are more treasured artifacts in my chest
And so far I think I like them better than the rest
Stay on my planet for as long as you need to
I will help you here until Mars needs you
Use my poems as your rocket fuel
Keep them with you until they are useless
Let my hands be your shelter
Make my mind your control center
I will be whatever you need me to
Even after you’ve blasted off into the blue.

Please for the love of God help my people.

3.5 million U.S. citizens live on the island and are in need of help.

America you claim you want to help your people well let’s start with people who truly need it.

America your necessities are their luxuries.

Puerto Rico was not yours to begin with

But now that you’ve claimed us at least take care of us

We don’t ask for much

We are only asking for the ability to breathe and read books

I didn’t know that was such a high demand

My people are suffering

With no water to drink or bathe

We are left with the stench of hopelessness

Because America, you are more concerned with toupees

Than your own people

Yes, I did not stutter

Your people, Puerto Ricans

No not the immigrants because we are not immigrants

Our passports are twins not fraternal

Why do you like us when we hit a baseball or sing some tune on American Idol

We are doctors

We are cashiers

We are students trying to better our lives

We are a people begging for help

Do not look at us and turn away

My island was once a beautiful place where birds sang in harmony

And the coquis call smoothed the worst of souls

We don't know this island anymore because our island is America’s landfill

A place where the government tested nuclear bombs without thinking of its own people

The people are living on faint hope backed the knowledge that tomorrow probably won't be better

Why do you, America, want us like this

America you ask me why do I care so much about an island I haven't been to

I care because my roots flow back to the land 100 miles across the sea

One that I have the ability to call home from my rented home here

America, you created this land so people of all nations and backgrounds could have a chance at a better life

My people are still waiting for this promise to be fulfilled

America we beg you, help us

My people are suffering

We are tired of being the last pick for the team we didn’t even want to join

We are tired of the rottened mold you have put us in

So let this be a warning that your mold is finally falling apart because of your greed

Do not blame us for this

You are the hand clamped onto ours and forced us to cover our mouths

America, Puerto Ricans are ready to talk so we can live in harmony

All you have to do is take our hand off our mouths

fall, (v.)

what i did.

home, (n.)

when i am with you, there is nowhere else i'd rather be; and i am a person who always wants to be somewhere else.

hurt, (v.)

i have vague memories of what i said the night i lied to you that i did not love you, but i remember my voice hitching in my throat. i remember it hurt.  

kiss, (v.)

our faces are inches from each other. you freeze, and i giggle before calling you a coward. i rarely kiss first; but if i didn't, then i don't think that distance between us would've closed at all.

lost, (adj.)

i was willing to let you go, and yet, at the same time, i have never wanted to be so /selfish/ in my entire life.

love, (n.)

you.

mine, (n.)

what i want you to be.

name, (n.)

your mother's maiden name was the same as my ex' middle name. i remember laughing until my sides hurt once i found out.

prom, (n.)

"you're all mine on prom night." prom night never happened, but it's the thought that counts.

song, (n.)

all those corny tunes on the radio have been reminding me of you lately.

sick, (adj.)

you, too very often. i wish i knew how to take care of you but i can barely do that for myself.

sing, (v.)

my most vivid memory of you includes you auditioning to our glee club with *together in electric dreams. you ******. we would laugh about it later on.

stay, (v.)

you make it so hard to leave.