the average cost of a funeral is
$8,515

death is unaffordable for me

put me in  big oblong cardboard box

2 feet by 3 feet by 6 feet

packing list enclosed

fragile (not really)
      please handle with care

keep upright

       or

supine

send me to the
grande vide

postage due

Foot Tapping
Hand Shaking
Mind Racing
Walls Breaking
Strength Taking
Nail Biting
Head Throbbing
Knees Clattering
Teeth Chattering
Life Shattering

she gave me her nudes
she was bare
and naked
and so out
and open
and i willingly
accepted it
because it wasnt the nudes
that showed her body
the physical aspects
that made her beautiful
it was the words
she didnt choose
and the spontaneity
that left her
either from her lips
or her fingers
or ink

she was as bare
as her nudes
and i accepted
her for her.

He was imperfect
He was young
She loved him
She was crazy
She wasn’t so pretty
He loved her

He had doubts
He had challenges
She loved him
She was naïve
She was carefree
He loved her

He was smart
He was cute
She loved him
She got brains
She had talent
He loved her

He lied
He cheated
She loved him
He became rude
He was difficult
She loved him

He was scared
He was reckless
She cared
He was arrogant
He was insensitive
She was hurt

He ignored her
He hurt her more
She became different
He cheated more
He cheated carelessly
She ignored him

He became scarce
He cut off ties
She survived
He was addicted
He was pitiful
She had empathy

He fell
She brought him up
He got sick
She nursed him to health
She slipped
He didn’t catch her
He got into trouble
She turned her back on him

He wanted her back
She didn’t
It was too late
She felt nothing for him

She was,
A diamond he got
She was,
A diamond he lost

Love and Death
are actually a couple.
Both steal hearts,
Both take away breaths,
yet
Love breathes new life.
Death gives a portal to an afterlife.

Take control
Have control

If I give you control then you can't force it out of me
I may not like it but you can take it

I gave you control over one thing now take the rest
You seemed to like that

Control me as you do
I don't care anymore

Just know this
I can play too

Someday I will be gone and you will wonder why.
I’m here to tell you why.
What I want you to do…
So listen and listen closely…

To start I don’t want you to get sad and depressed and cry…
I’m not something to be dwelled on…
I was never the important one…
I was always the last choice, never fully wanted…
I want you to live your life…
I want you to be happy like I tried so hard to be and just failed…
Long gone I was before I met you, farther and farther I fell away from everyone…

Someday I’ll be gone and you’ll think back to everything…
You’ll wonder why of all things.
You’ll ask yourself where did you go wrong
Then you’ll think it wasn’t you but it was me…
In all reality, it was both of us, all of us…
Everyone who was blind…
Everyone who never spoke up with their mouths sewed shut…
Me for never being able to speak up
Not being able to say this is what’s wrong with me please help me…