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Jessi Robinson May 2015
I have no fear of love
I have no fear of lust
I have no fear of falling into them
I live for these feelings
But you make me afraid
Jessi Robinson May 2015
I get so giggly when I'm with you
I'm really bad at this stuff
But you ignite something in me I've never felt before
Like a caveman discovering fire
except I'm so nervous that I dump water on it
I'm so scared that I stomp it down until it's gone.
I love you but you scare me a lot actually
simply because I can't see that same fire
under your skin, behind your eyes.
So I just giggle and stay bad at this stuff.
Jessi Robinson May 2015
Are things ruined between us?
Do you want me anymore?
Do you think about me?
Because I still think about you.
Constantly.
I can help but lie in bed at night,
Replaying that one night as I try to sleep
So vivid, so clear.
Was that really what you wanted?
Was it out of love?
Or did you just want to take something from me?
Something so precious that it would **** me?
Well you took something
But not what you wanted.
So now what do we do?
Jessi Robinson Mar 2015
Would you think I'm crazy?
Would you think I'm weird?
Because those are true.
I believe so anyway.
My brain jumps like a kangaroo
Happy, sad, angry, happy,
I don't know what to do.
My mind rattles like gunshots
But that's exactly what sent me overboard...
Into the sea of darkest thoughts
Sinking to the bottom, down down down
Until I'm resting with those who drowned before me.
But until it get there I'll gently float down
Trying to make the happy memories I'm still holding into keep me afloat.
Jessi Robinson Aug 2014
Breathe in
Let it out
Let go of all the worry
All the dread
All the hatred
For yourself

But how can you
When everyone around you
says you're perfect

People only see the surface
You struggle
The word tears you apart
Every strand of muscle in your heart
Simply shredded

All your life you struggle
To find your path
To find your place
To find you

And how can something so "perfect"
Be so broken at the same time?
Because you're so accustomed to
The theatrics of being "happy"
All of the time
You can't be upset in front of others
You can't be broken in front of the pure
You can't be less than what's expected

You smile.
You don't let the cracks show
You choke back your tears
And just go about the day...

Stop.
Cry in front of them.
Let someone help you.
Be venerable.
Let the people you love see your broken pieces
For once..

Get out there.
Tell the world you're not perfect
And love yourself.
Now breathe in.
I'm Jessi, and I try to love myself everyday.  I am not perfect.
Jessi Robinson Aug 2014
I am a girl
I shave my legs
I do my makeup
I am a girl

I am not stereotype
I have short hair
I am thin, you can see my ribs and hip bones
I am not stereotype

I am not your constant comments
****, lesbian, anorexic
Freak
I am not your constant comments

I am a girl
I have feelings
I have small *******
I have bleach spots on my skin
I have really short hair
I bite my fingernails
I like to smell flowers
I am the little spoon
I wear cute clothes
I like to look pretty
I am a girl

I will not build myself to your standards
I will not destroy myself for your beliefs
I will not belittle myself for your pity

I will be me
I will have short hair and kiss boys
I will eat whatever I want want and watch my weight
Because what I am is considered healthy
I will have feelings even though they destroy me
I will look pretty because why the **** not?
I will be the little spoon because I feel safe
I will be a girl who isn't defined by sterotypes and
Constant Comments
The "I am a girl" stanzas aren't meant to be stereotypical, they are meant to just be me stating what I do to make me happy and feel like a girl. I am not a hypocrite.
Jessi Robinson Aug 2014
You
Your eyes, your hair
Your smile, your body
All sending my heart into a spiral
and my mind into tranquility

You
Your laugh, your voice
Your words
My heart races
My mind goes blank

You
My heart breaks
My mind is in a million places
I want to love you
I do love you
But oh, the problems
Oh, the agony of you

How can hearts so far apart
Love each other like they're side by side, you say
You love me
But you don't want to
You can't..

We hug, we grasp hands
We lock arms, we kiss
But you can't love me
Does it hurt you like I?
Does it break your heat into pieces
Does it send your mind in millions of ways?
Or do you not feel for me
As I for you?

I shouldn't worry, shouldn't care
I'm going away
Meeting new people who love what I love
But no one will ever fill your void,
That hole in my heart
Where you sit and torture me

I want you to myself
For now, for always
I want you to fill the space between my arms and my chest
I want you to make the tears run down my face
From laughter, from fighting
From love....
I want you to help me realize that even though I'm ****** up
That you're ****** up too
And I'm not alone
And that together we can pull through everything anything
You are the light I see at the end of the tunnel
You are the hope I feel when I've worked so hard
You are the joy I feel when something actually goes right for a change....

You are you, perfect
And I just want
You.........
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