Those silly songs;
so sad but true
With lost feelings
of me and you

I played it on
with the tape's side A
Felt like blossoms of dawn
and flowers of May

I flipped the tape
Found side B's empty
The same thing I get
Every time you look at me

"You'll get over this."
You once confided
That's what our love is;
Too one-sided

How lovely it is to see,
their family so happy,
sharing kisses and hugs,
what a perfect holiday.

Here i am, scrolling up and down.
Reacting with so many hearts and wows.
Oh how i long to be real happy,
To smile so pure and genuinely.

This circle that i am right now,
i really don't know how to get out.
And so, I always dream about the parallel universe,
maybe my circle is so perfect there.

Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down

I'm feeling kind of lonely
but please
leave me alone.
I want to open up my heart
but please
don't ask what's wrong.

I'm longing to be rescued
but please
just let me drown.
I've built these walls
to keep you out
but please

just tear them down.