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Aug 2023 · 1.0k
Used To
Jesibell arz Aug 2023
I used to be such a beautiful delicate Rose, now all I am is dead Rose that has been Wilting in the winds of disappointment/stress and solace.
    I used to look at myself in the mirror 🪞 and be happy with what I see, a beautiful girl with long spiral curly hair along with a nice slim figure and beautiful beautiful big brown coffee eyes. All I see now is a used to be beautiful girl that went from an 8 to a 4, her big brown eyes became smaller, her nice slim figure is thicker, and her long textured hair became nothing... Relationships, the 🌎, and people can damage you. Most importantly.. YOU can damage you. Putting others before your happiness will destroy you. Since I was a little girl I was putting people before me at all times; I wish someone would of taught me to love myself the way you're supposed.
    I used to be such a kind soul. Still am but my eyes and my glow are not as bright anymore. It has dimmed down to depression, anxiety, and introversion what makes me seem like a monster... The people I gave/give my heart to and my all to are the same people (including myself) that made me into the dead Rose I see today. I just want to see my glowing light shine nice and bright...
  🥀
     Like it used to.
Getting old dealing with things.
Jan 2017 · 433
Bitch
Jesibell arz Jan 2017
B. eing annoying all the ******* time                                                            I.  hate you but love you at the same time.                             T.  hinking of all time I wasted on you   
C. An you leave me all alone                                                            ­         H. OoooooooooooEeeeeeeeeeeee
Sep 2016 · 519
Now your ready
Jesibell arz Sep 2016
I told You to go More often Than once but never did You leave, its like You didnt understand maybe playing a dunce.. I knew this would happen oneday wich is why i was telling You to go away; act like we never met and never touched one another, honestly i want all our memories to go down the gutter. I thought You where the one i could spend the rest of my life with, but my mind is on a More grown level not like yours thinking like a kid..



I wish You would of never wasted my time.
Not much to say about someone who played with your heart. Other Than ******* and ******* ^_*
#tf
Sep 2016 · 1.1k
Jascitti
Jesibell arz Sep 2016
You are a lovely soul i can tell by the kicks inside. The lord had this gift for me, what a surprise :D. Finally after nine Months i see what You look like; More beautiful then i imagined this feels so right.
kissed You, hugged you, squeezed You with all my heart ME AND YOU i know is a relationship that will never part.. Seeing that smile makes my day shine bright, laughing playing feeding until night; time to go to bed my little rose flower dream of You flying More Higher then the highest tower, to always keep in mind aiming high is the power.
I will always love You never forget that just hurry up And grow so when mami talks You can talk Back :* <3
Sep 2016 · 311
Heart</3Break
Jesibell arz Sep 2016
A Kind Heart Is A Weak Heart, But A Weak Heart Has A Strong Mind.
Sep 2015 · 516
hello poetry
Jesibell arz Sep 2015
I appreciate you for giving this site to express what i feel inside, but i just poured my heart out on a poem i named Distress but ur site froze on me and deleted everything :'(.... and i cant remember what i wrote because it was straight from deep within, i cant go back in there because the same words wont come out as fond nd flowing as they were. That poem was to make me feel better everytime i go back in to read it, but now i just have a blank!! Now my mind is blank until i feel something in my heart again...

So ******* for that, but i still love you for being here :*


Ps: nd if it wasn't your site, it was my phone. Then **** my phone and i apologize to you.
So mad nd sad at the same time cant even describe..
Jul 2015 · 400
is it real?
Jesibell arz Jul 2015
Is it real to look at someone and just visualize hearts floating around them, or light up like a Christmas tree whenever they touch you.

Is it real to melt in their hands when arms are wrapped around you, or the tingling sensation when someone's voice caresses ur ear.

Is it real to laugh like the cutest child in the world whenever their stare gets to intense, or For ur toes to curl when the loving is to good..



  Is it real? L<3ve
greatest mystery of all times.
Jul 2015 · 382
int°rude°rs
Jesibell arz Jul 2015
Just me and you, no-one else sees sparks in our eyes. feeling is so radiant, our rays is touching the sky.. as soon as we decide to really show our love for eachother, their are always intruders trying to bother; With thier filthy looks of hatred desire, i sometimes think they wish we would just die in fire. Why so much hate? We would never know, we should of kept it between us stayed  on the low...
     Intruders are disrespectful beings, never caring about feelings; changing by the season's realizing they dont have much meaning. So they come up with a plan scheming, i guess that's thier only thing to believe in. Ruining our lovely passion. Or shall i say trying to ruin our lovely passion, with dishonest rumors that me and you know are not true; so we just laugh go for the ride and stick it through..
Intruders vs us thats a debate between the majority population, I just know our intruders was put on regulation..
One way or another thier is always that one person that cant mind their own ******* business. Or that one person thats not happy so wants to ruin yours.
Jun 2015 · 2.4k
4:48AM
Jesibell arz Jun 2015
I hear ur breath match the same beat as mine, i want our rhythm to last forever until the end of time.
Ur arms are around my waist holding me tight, you light me up inside; shinier then the brightest star at night.
Bodies so warm together i can feel the heat,  
I would never want this on pause; just play and repeat.
So for now i'll end this little sweet poem for you while you sleep ***, can't wait to kiss you with the essence of the morning sun.



                                                *Truly yours
Jun 2015 · 439
difference|between
Jesibell arz Jun 2015
Dear old love,
You were my only true love, so close and dear to my heart love; our happy days was filled with joy love... we were tangled with eachother like a knot on a string love,
We danced with so much melody like chimes blowing through the wind love.
In between the bed sheets i was ur queen and you were my king love, love love love i could of never gotten enough of.

Between you and me their was an invisible lining thinking up love, one that caused us to cry at night and hold our pillows tight love; making you disappear completely out of site love. Making me realize things was not going right love.
                  The difference between the beginning of us to the end love, is that our beginning was the color red then faded to black love.. i wish that things turned out different between us love, but then again everything happens for a reason love. I will never forget you for the reason that you were my first love, but years go by wounds heal keeping in mind that my heart is big enough to accept a new love.


The difference between you and me love...
Jun 2015 · 414
I'm that type:
Jesibell arz Jun 2015
I'll sacrifice the last bit of food on the dinner table, i wouldn't mind starving because seeing you hungry; i wouldn't be able.

I'll give you my last kleenex tissue just for you to blow ur nose, while mine is running like water through a garden hose.

I'll never let anyone do harm to your soul or you, I'll twist those words and fight every battle; thats the least i can do.

I will always be here until the very end, you are my sister/brother/mother/father/and my friend.
Life's to short to hold grudges
Jun 2015 · 515
*Limerick*
Jesibell arz Jun 2015
Their is a woman sitting by a tree
watching one buzzy bee;
She starred until it flew from flower to flower
(hhm. how long the wings flap per-hour?),
*Pretty bee dont sting me
May 2015 · 606
Midnight skies
Jesibell arz May 2015
Clouds grey telling me the future and the past.me wondering how long this future can last.
               keeping in mind that                
It all comes back around, something similar to like a merry-go-round. with the price of different people different acts including different facts... It's either better or beyond worse, sad to say but theirs some life who can't overcome the curse ££¥

Some are fortunate hitting the lotto, others are caught trying to steal an auto. I don't know but it all seems a little crazy causing me to sit back and roll up a stick that's hazy *.


midnight skies never tell lies, the moon is my light at the end of the tunnel until my demise; never questioning why my eyes are drawn to this dark sunrise...
Brightens up my day. Metaphorically speaking
May 2015 · 415
Smoke him out my Feelings
Jesibell arz May 2015
Inhale exhale
inhale exhale
inhale exhale*
       deep breaths in and deep breaths out.
inhale exhale
inhale hold in... Then let it go slowly
inhale exhale
inhale exhale
* inhale........
R.I.P
Apr 2015 · 322
Luv or love
Jesibell arz Apr 2015
When you say I <3 you I wonder if it's spelled  L O V E or L U V in your mind.
Just curious
Apr 2015 · 337
Please.
Jesibell arz Apr 2015
Don't be useless.. But you were -__-
Waste of time
Apr 2015 · 552
Where do I go from here.
Jesibell arz Apr 2015
I'm lost like a little child when they lose their mother at the store screaming and yelling but someones helpful hand I do not recall; people just watch me run and laugh as I fall..
Where do I go from here?, I stand back up brushing off the negativity dust wishing someone can witness my stregnths and realize that I'm not ready to rust. Because in the eyes of the other beholder im sure they see misery nd distress, I try to hide it with a smile to block out the stress; but the dark circle under my eyes let's people know how i really feel inside..
sounding like a depressed mess ready to cut open my chest, I am. Just not with a knife but with my finger tips as I write; just need the sun to shine a little more bright. I fight and I fight to make things right, with me myself nd I to visualize a better site.
where do I go from here?
god bless the ones who have true friends that will ride or die to the end, and god bless the ones who don't because either way we won't; quit on ourselves or life the war was giving to us/me to ignite the fire that's within our soul to overcome anything that blocks the path so I been told.    
where do I go from here? oh now I know, just walk around with eyes wide open not slightly closed.
Mar 2015 · 3.9k
123... Game
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
123...
I hug you then you hug me
we go our separate ways like the red sea.

123...
You call my phone already feeling alone, I send you to voicemail leave a message at the tone.

123...
Theirs tears on my pillows aswell as my sheets, just wishing if oneday again we can meet.

123...
A few months go by I hear a knock on my door, wondering if it's you coming back for more.

123...
I'm taken by surprise, it's you standing infront of me wiping the tears from my eyes.

123...
I can't live without you and you can't live without me, this is our 123 game of uncertainty.


                                  *I Love You Tho
Mar 2015 · 431
Boring Bear with a rose
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
(0)(0)
(• - •)
(>@~<)
[]  []
_________
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
__________

Boring bear with a rose posted on the side walk wanting to give it away but no-one seems special enough to give to, Then the bear starts to walk to find that person but still can't find a boo. So, the bear gladly takes it home and shoves it up the ***
Silly bear
&:p
Mar 2015 · 1.5k
First time xanax
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
First time Xanax I tried that **** today, getting a little personal but who cares this is my page. Took that Xanax now my body feeling extra numb, can't even really get up to eat because Like I said I'm feeling numb lol.
anyway i'm not a druggy just like to explore, I'll never turn to crack or heroine that ***** a killer; not trying to meet up with the undertaker. Just trying to have a little fun, feeling beyond this world rising higher than the sun. It's 3am in the morning as eminem states it, the pill was given to me was not going to waste it.
I just know that before and if I do this again, my stomach will be full instead of starving because this **** is not make pretend.
I'm far from a softie jus not used to this type of drug, first time Xanax makes me feel like a trippy slug *.
Trippy ****
Mar 2015 · 2.6k
My prerogative
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
When I chose to lay with you it's for the experience of ur life, not for you to catch feelings from just serveral nights.
I really like you, don't get me wrong but my heart has been broken I'm not trying to write a love song. This is the thing. If we stop making love and just ****, then don't you think the feelings will be mutual between the both of us? You grab my hips with one hand while the other caresses my back, I chose you for pleasure you think I have time for that. I rather have you pull my hair and smack my *** just a few pointers, for the next time I throw it back on ur delicious *****.
I am the romantic type I do like it slow, but for now just run the red light and yellow light; green means go... We'll get to l<3ve making when the time is right, right now just be there for me when I need someone to hold me tight.


                                 Sincerely
                                        FWB
I believe we all had/have one
Mar 2015 · 539
Cartoons|Animated series
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
You laugh with us you cry with us I am here to entertain you. You sleep with us, you wake up with us you watch us when their is nothing much to do.

You see our every move, scenes that take action; aswell as hear our voices. I would like to see/hear you but us not doing so was not within our choices.

I'm sure some of us would clique with our earthly beings especially the cast from family guy/american dad/Cleveland show/ and south park. Theirs a whole bunch I forgot to mention, where do I start?

Either way, I appreciate the love for our shows. Don't ever stop watching us or turn into foes. In reality we are pronounced technically dead, but in fictionality we are alive and well bred.

I'm sure oneday we will meet through imagination and concentration, but until then jus get a goodnights sleep and have some aspiration.


                                     sincerely
                                         Character
Mar 2015 · 488
Unwanted Guests
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
These people are telling me awful horrid things, that I shouldn't pay attention to but   Thier words are so loud it causes my ears to ring.
I don't know what they want from me? they know their not welcomed into my humble abode, I most Likly lead them in when they witnessed my broken pieces being sewed. These people are evil hapiness is not in their agenda, thier mission is to destroy having people bow down and surrender.. I became one of the victims more than once. I've had suicidal thoughts and pushed away love; causing me to rip the wings off of doves.
Demons is what I call them, I can't even have a goodnights sleep, my dreams get disturbed by this late night creep.. The sun that once lived shining on me so bright, now causes me to pull down shades and hide from the light.
But this transaction does not go on for long, it only lasts until the unwanted guests are gone.
Get out!
Mar 2015 · 601
Letter in my mailbox <3
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
Your heart may be cut, cracked, broken and bleeding but deep down within, you would rather not believe it!

So you seek a gust of wind that can lift you off your feet, then you wonder in your mind if your thoughts could see defeat!

Alot of memories soon fade but they don't never really die so I promise to hold you tight and not let go when you cry!

For the beauty in your heart is something money couldn't buy and I hope  you believe in faith because your heart should never lie!

I* wanna take away the pain while I kiss away your tears, let it out and let it go ma... There is nothing here to fear!

Lets watch our souls light the way so we can love another day, just envision us together and forever be my bae!
Made me smile &:)
Mar 2015 · 516
So many:
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
so many lies* 1000
so many cries 5000
so many times, these lies and cries hurt my heart. So many reasons for a re-start...  
so many things to start anew, so many people and obticles to go through;
so many hopes and dreams to persue, so many pieces to collect to start a new you.
                                                /)(\
                                                (•_•)
       ­                                          ()€()
So many things to sit and ponder upon.
Mar 2015 · 720
Respect
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
Instead of looking at me I see you stare down at my lips and my chest, those are not my eyes so give the perverting a rest.
                    **(no perverts)**               
   *Instead of speaking with me to try to find the inner beauty within my mind
, you jus look at me up down while licking ur lips and winking an eye.
                          ***                         
it seems to me the only thing the hasmster is spinning for you is ***;
I'm not the type to give it up easy or to everyone so move on to the next.
I don't approve of you touching me without my approval you fuxking creep..I don't even know you, so how are you telling me the feelings you have are deep?
  My outter appearance doesn't judge my attitude or personality, words would have to be exchanged to recognize the reality.

Just next time you see me come correct, all I'm asking for is respect >x<
Don't take to offense
Mar 2015 · 793
Deja de beber
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
Tu bebe y bebe sin motivo, yo Nama me pongo pensar que lo que contigo. Me hablas mal sin ningun rason, tu me majas el dia de FelizIdad a enojada Como un ajo al pelon..
  Mejor dejarte trankila en tu propio mundo, porque parece que tu y yo ya no podemos andar juntos. Y lo que me molesta es que somos prima de Sangre, pero cono a ti te gusta peliar y poner la situacion bien grande. Tu dices que ya uno es grande y somos adultos, so Deja tu mierda y ponte pa lo tuyo.
Enverdad ya yo estoy jarta de ti con la bebidas que tomes, tu cuando esta borracha hace mal aciones. Te quiero pero en esto no quiero esta en relajos, porque me imajino que algun dia nos fajamos.. So me voy a quedar 5000 milas de ti, porque la Vida tuya sera mejor sin mi. No me voy a poner Triste para na, ya lo dejo aki esto sera el final.  

                                      *me fui
Si vas a beber, bebe porque te hace bien no mal.
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
Dear rain,
I admire the drip drops coming from the sky and I love it when the drip drops hit my eye                  * <3*
I look up jus to feel real water not from my tears,  like it cleanses my inner sins makes me feel like the almighty is here.

the breath that I take in everyday to rise again, to see the rays of the sun shine on my face hopefully won't soonly end

pardon my French Im not going to lie; I did step outside to get a little higgh that's part of nature to it comes from the ground, honesty I think that's gods way to make us turn to clowns. Lol, i'm fine with that boosting us to to get back on track. But don't get me wrong the high is not for everyone, some start acting like fools and everything turns numb. But there are others that just opens the mind and gets more artisitic.
I sound a little ballistic...

Well is all and all in all rain just continue to fall. .

                                          ***** it
Random randomly done. High*.*thoughts
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
Don't think that this is going to be a sad story to sit around and mope, if anything it's a few ideas to make someone strong and filled with hope.

when you get your heart broken don't think of it as the end of the world, jus take it as a lesson please don't cry like a little girl. You would only make that person feel more infinite aswell as powerful, the tears rolling down your face they will feel unstoppable.. What I mean by that is that they will take full responsibility, by making you feel way down and taking away your dignity.
  Never give someone that power to overcome your soul, taking your skin skeletons and bones. Of course it hurts nobody is doubting that, just remeber if it's true love it will never fade to black; and if it's meant to be destiny will be sure to bring the two hearts back..

So just keep in mind never lose yourself, be stronger then ever and be proud to wear the heavy champ belt.. <\3 <3<3
Never plan love let love plan itself for you.
Mar 2015 · 691
!statement!
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
I don't mind doing for people,
  But don't take advantage of my doings.
Mar 2015 · 494
YOU
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
YOU
I'm here with writers block not knowing what to say or do, you got me ****** up and a little confused.
    I really like you a lot I don't know why, cause you always somehow leave me unsatisfied. And I'm not talking about *** so get your mind out the gutter, I know we're not in a relationship but somehow I feel like you have another. You make no time for me not even a little bit, sooner or later I will get tired of this ****...

For now let's leave all the negativities behind, I appreciated the first day I met you because who knew down the road we would intertwine. You caught me by surprise with just the look of your dreamy eyes, starring back at me I must admit you had me mesmerized. Your smile is the cherry ontop, those beautiful soft lips that I can kiss non-stop..
    Not going to get into furthur details beause from this you should have a clue, the feelings that I actually have for you.


just for you xo
Got asked on the spot to write a little something.
Mar 2015 · 404
Influenced bit by bit
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
You influence me to realize my full potential by using words that are so influential.
Piece by piece I put my puzzle together in hail/sleet/snow or any weather.
Once complete I hang it on the wall for the whole world to see my crazy visions taken from different pieces bit by bit from you and me.
People are in awe from what I see, me and you just created a master piece.
The reason why their is no specific name brought up from the beginning of my story is because you where never near me  just a mystery (who are you) plus a ghost that won't stop haunting me..
You are here with me now as I write these crazy words I can hear you laugh at me and call me a nerd.
LOL so I laugh back with all intent to make you squirm and feel less than a simple earth worm.
                     HA HA HA
                           HA
are the sounds bouncing from wall to wall in my room, to block out the harassment that you cause that opens up my wounds.
             LEAVE ME ALONE
be gone
be you
let me be me

I finally said the words to let you be free.
Mar 2015 · 739
L O S T for words
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
I somehow forget how to write with a simple pen or pencil to express my feelings delight

I sometimes realize I'm not really a poetic rhythm to ring the ears of the people while being under hypno-tizum.

I see how people use their imaginations and creativity to create the fondest stories in history.

I can relate to the angry/hapiness/sadness that i read that sometimes makes my wrists bleed purposely.

Either way poem/poems are one of a kind  that people cannot duplicate unless we have similar minds.

                            sealed with a kiss
                                          Xoxoxo
We are different in everyway, in the things we say. Be yourself and no-one else
Mar 2015 · 733
Barbie<3Doll
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
So you want to create me like I'm a Barbie doll, you want to make my hair long and my thighs slim. But I'm sorry Hon I'm only human.

We come in all shapes and diffrent sizes, we don't come in a box labeled barbie doll so wake up and stop imagining because that will be your biggest down fall.

Love me or hate me that's a debate between you and only you, I just know that my feet does not fit in a 5mm shoe. I am who I am wich is human I popped out of my mothers ****** as a healthy live baby, so don't try to transform me to a plastic beauty because if you continue... Then you must be crazy!!

                              sincerely,
                    ­                     Human baby

   <3XoxO<3
People should love/like you for who you are.. Not what you look like!
Mar 2015 · 938
You can/can't replace me
Jesibell arz Mar 2015
You can replace me because I am a female, Wich their is alot of in this world.  Who wrap some strands of hair around their finger to create a curl.
You can replace me because I have female parts for you to love, jus like every other female who's skin is as soft as a dove.
You can replace me because I make your  eyes spark with lust and desire, wich is what happens with every man when they see a female hot as fire.
               But one thing is
you can't replace my personality/attitude/***** all in all, because I was the one who made you fall; deep in love with the inner me, that will be hard to find you'll see.
  You can't replace my smile or the twinkle in my eye, that always made you laugh and hug me by surprise.
You can't replace my passion stares and lovely kisses my wonderful long lasting love that almost changed my name to mrs.  
                      You can't
                   You just can't
                      You can't
................................................................­.....

but yet you tried and you have failed.
General love story
Jesibell arz Feb 2015
Me Myself nd I* is all that stands; there's nobody next to me to hold my hand. I like the days that I feel happy and alive, but then theirs others days I just cry and cry.
   Me Myself nd I go through struggles together, most of the time I helps Me get through any weather. I know deep inside I'm very strong, that doesn't keep my face from being long.
   Me Myself nd I dislike our surroundings, I think that's why we stay so grounded. To keep away from any stress, that can make me more into a hot mess. Me Myself nd I always listen to eachothers advices,  to not get into any crisis. But no matter how hard I try, it's still kind of difficult to get by. Even though I have parents that help me with certain situations, though I appreciate it, it still brings me some frustration >:o
  Me Myself nd I get caught up in imagining things, that's what causes my life to sting. I still pat Myself on the back because I Havnt let Myself die, I'm just being patcient while things modify. Either      For better or worse, no matter what Me Myself nd I will over come this curse..
Back then blues
Feb 2015 · 409
Jus certain things
Jesibell arz Feb 2015
Certain things (you)
never believe a heroic face, that might just be your biggest mistake. That person may seem fine and dandy, when in realality he/she comes up shady. You were the one that caught yourself up in this mess, now have no idea how to deal with the stress. He/she claimed to be picture perfect, it took you a while to realize it wasn't worth it. What is love to them? Let me just ask, their own dreams all together in a form of a mask. Every now and then they where it for you to see, and you know when it's on because all they do is talk about we... They look into ur eyes and pretend everything is okay, they have completely lost themselves and you don't know what to say. Don't worry things aren't always as fond, whatever it's life.. Snapshots unknown from beyond.


                  Certain things (me)
most swear you were a monster, in my eyes you were my knight in shining armour. You told me the truth no matter how bad it was, that's what I consider true love. Of course we had our ups and downs, you still managed to turn this frown upside down. I miss holding you, kissing you, and loving every part... Your name I will never erase from my heart. I miss you more and more everyday, most Likley because I can't be by your side to lay. Reason being you are behind bars, but it's ok because I'm here to help you through your scars. I appreciate everything we been through and done it made me realize you are the one. <3


               Certain things (we)
when you're in a crowd you think everything is cool, when really "friends" take you as a fool. You act like yourself thinking that you fit in, then there are other times you just don't feel good in your own skin. They look at you up and down, considering that your a clown. At times you think their laughing with you, na their actually laughing at you.
          In life you have to find friends that will stay by your side, lean over and give you their shoulder for you to cry. Avoid the ones that are your friends for one month or year, ones that are barely there to express your fears. These so called "friends" are just make pretend, so go on a hunt and find the ones that will stay until the end !!
Jus certain things involved in/with life.

— The End —