Hell is when you are in pain
But don't show it
Cause you don't want a million questions
Hell is when you feel pain
And there's no moral
No lesson
When you are trapped in emotion
And have no control over what will happen
When the tears roll down your cheeks and you can't stop them
When your soul is screaming
But no one will listen
When your soul aches
When your eyes are blinded by the heaviness
The hurt
The pain
And knowing that tomorrow,
The cycle stays the same
When smiling actually hurts your feelings because its proof that you're a liar
You're lying to yourself
And everyone else
Cause when they see that smile
They don't see the pain
The tears
The emotions felt
But just a facade you put up
Because you're scared.
Scared of the implications
And seeing how people actually feel-
Do they care about me?
Only God knows
And meanwhile the pain grows
Fornicates, multiplies!
And so do the lies
The "I'm okay"s
The "I'm fine"s
But back to what I was saying,
Hell is when you have a million ways
To explain your pain

Black box breaking
Slowly breaking
Slowly
I saw the cracks
I saw them ripple down her back
I saw the freeze and thaw of nations
The renaissance and death and renaissance
I saw the wealth and worth of world powers
I saw them crumble
I was there
And I am here
I read it all and wrote it down
I saw it all and wrote it down
I kissed the survivors and wrote it down
I saw the earth in its entirety
I fell in love and vomited and fell in love
I saw her in her emptiness
I saw her sway in the winds
The winds grew cold and colder
She grew old and older
And so distraught
Mangled
Destroyed
Derailed
Demolished
Stripped of poise and polish
Stripped of it all
I saw her disintegrate
I saw her fall
Still I,
I still
I always standing
Watching still
Always seeing
Standing and seeing, I
Drinking tea
Calm, cool, collected, serenity

Now your turn
You see me
See me walking down the street
See my waist-long wavy hair
Blonde and sparkling in the sun
Lipstick smile
Hipbones and cheekbones chiseled and deadly
Long leg strut down the runway
Of center town sidewalks
The world is my oyster
See my backpack full of alphabetized books
Handwriting neat and perfect
Pen behind my ear I’m ready
For all of this
See me smoking cigarettes out my dorm room window
Listening to Mozart
And smiling fully when the strings jump in
See me on the park bench reading
Long Russian novels
I inhale the pages like heartbeats
In-hale
Ex-hale
In-hale
Ex-hale
Breaths and beats fully synchronized to the flipping of pages
And to the Metronome Mozart wrote me.

Don’t be deceived
I made my world and destroyed it and made my world
Independent to a fault
I made my living off stitching together broken bones
And melting old forgotten thrones
Sculptures that said I needed no one
No one could keep up anyway
I ran too fast
I ran all day
And kindof expected someone to care
But no one ever has
I was never worth the trouble
Pull me out from my own rubble
And kiss me if you can
No one knows my secret plan to live an embarrassing convention
All this glass is just pretention
I glued it together myself
I wrote my own pamphlet for self help
I pieced together my own face
I sculpted my own form and adorned it
I broke my own heart and mourned it
I arrived and left and arrived
And here I’ll stay
Black box breaking
Slowly breaking
Slowly
I saw the cracks
I saw them from the start
Death and renaissance and death
***** and love and *****

She came out at night
Past the pond she'd stir
She fell upon a grave
And prayed it would be her.
But prayer doesn't work for her
For she is still alive
Go home and scar herself
Reminders of time.
She looks at the grave
Time moves slow
But she's dead still, she is sure.
Past the trees she'd stir
She found a new grave
And hoped that it'd be her.

The dreamy eye lashes of your eyes
When they meet,

The soft wisps of your hair
When they fly,

The quiver of your lips
When you feel shy,

The spell of your smile
When it comes by

Stirs the void in me.

Resurrects the dream.

And my heart,
Then embarks on a flight
Of myriad conjectures
Only to stumble
And fall
In the abyss
Of lustful hope.
.. Yet again.

The darkness that shattered her world was left behind. Ashes to forget, memory lost in the wind of no rewind
She finally took the narrow path towards a new life. Today, she stands so tall and bright. No one can bring her down, solid as a rock. There's no turning back.

Selfless, relentless to fear
Everything that mounts to heights of frights, she's the warrior. Inferior to nothing. Candors of cadence impossible to break. Her heart made of mettle steel, nothing can make her falter.

All phobias are mundane
Except for one. That's when she met him at edge of the unexpected.
He sits at the rooftop alone everynight. Smiling to himself as he gazed into burst of constellations brimming with life.
"Is this love at first sight?", she thought
Past of men that broke her,
made her who she is today.
But this boy with a smile that could break her Titanic's Ice,
made her vulnerable.
With a smile that could break
the ice in her temple.

The power he illuminates
can set her eyes on fire.
Her fast beating heart is jumping out
Thoughts scribbling every night,
'This is going to be a mess,
I can't decide'

He closed his eyes, feeling the euphoria flowing inside.
The chimes and the chill of wind are all he can hear. He slowly touched
his chest and feel the bliss
As he opened his eyes,
a scintillating star in his sight.
Their eyes didn't meet, yet,
He glances back without her knowing tilting his head to the left, as she watched him from her window.
He was falling and sinking into her ocean eyes. Each glance makes him drowned and drawn deeper to her.

Yesterday was a blur, tomorrow is a vivid life. Within her is starting to tear with fear. Prayers of hope she will win and take the climb. She wants to grab the chance and be happy for once in her life.*

Both having the intent to speak.
Both prepared to make the first move
But bartered smiles was all it took
Heart's stolen, melting ice
They somehow knew this love will last..
Forever.