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Jd Ferrarez Oct 2015
Breathing is what I do best
Just standing there with the rest
Doing something great is what I would never dare
Because I just walk but have no idea where

People are around me, but I never connect
Fear of being mocked, shunned and getting no respect
I open my mouth but words slip my tongue so errant
I talk but the words are incoherent

Voices of the ****** flocks my mind
Making peace very far from my hand
A clogged psyche that never glisten
I hear but I never listen

Every day I am afraid to see
That somebody else would replace me
In this world he could not perceive
Someone who only exist but who does not live.
Jd Ferrarez Oct 2015
The dimness of night
Illuminated by sparks of light
Under the dome of constellation
I give you a kiss of adoration
A promise to keep, never to waver
Never to leave you alone forever
Just like the fourth of July
In our hearts, sparks will fly
  Mar 2015 Jd Ferrarez
Madeline Janisch
I think about burning my bridge with heaven a lot
Crave that sweet release
Drip drip
Blood trickling
Down my arm, my leg
God can't help me now
I'm draining
Draining myself of pain,
I don't feel pain anymore
I don't feel anything
It's euphoric really, the sight of blood soothes me

White sheets,
Stained from late nights
Razor's edge,
dragged along, free of fright
Press harder
Go deeper
It doesn't hurt anymore

I thought I could be an Angel
This is how I died
Jumped and realized I cannot fly
(All along, I knew, my wings would give. I cut them too)
(I did it on purpose)
Can't you see?
The sight of my own blood,
It soothes me

God Almighty,
who the **** are you?
A savior who did not save me
You didn't even try
Just like my parents
"Oh, she's fine"
But now comes the day
Today they will have to say-
"Oh, she's dead"
I want to pound it into their ignorant heads
SHE'S DEAD SHE'S DEAD

Her own mind killed her
Now she's free
Somewhere floating in the sea
The sea of dead girls
Not above, but deep down below
Heaven would not take me
Ah...
Hello Hell,
I know you would come for me.

To take your own life is to sin
But how? Why? I did not win
The devil did
And I praised him
You kicked me out and he took me in
Wrapped me in razors
Swaddled me in sin

How does it feel
To be beaten at your own game?
You built me and I put you to shame
*******
You ignorant man
Save me? It appears as if you no longer can
This girl, she's dead
Burned deep down into the ground
Blood flows from me like a raging river

And then one minute
It's gone
Not a drop is left
I have been drained
Not a live nerve left to feel the pain
My blood is gone, just like me
Left somewhere floating in the sea
The sea of dead girls
Not above, but deep down below

I always knew I belonged in Hell.
  Mar 2015 Jd Ferrarez
Simon Woodstock
Yelling at the TV feeling so small
Another loved one dead why don't you just take them all
one by one we die
but in support groups we cry we all have pain in life
but no one truly gets it at all I just sit so alone and small
everyone says I can come to them anytime
but it's not their problem they don't wanna here me whine
so I choose to sit and decay don't let anyone see me today I've buried myself in everything that's bad for my health  and I don't want them to be disgusted with me
so let me sit
let me rot
everyone's gonna die so why not me
just let the rest of my family be
please please please!
STOP STOP STOP
take me instead take me instead
if I had a choice she'd be alive and id be dead
I lost a loved one today and just having trouble accepting it so this is how I channeled everything...enjoy the people you have nothing in this life is promised

— The End —