please

forgive me,

this chest scar,
is a crack in the heartland,
deep rupture,
grime and shadow seeping in.

landscape,
an infinite black lake.

I can see
my reflection clear in it;
it is
broken glass, fragmented and
reassembled again,
again,
monstrous, twisted as a
swan dipped in oil, drowned twice, feathers
lathered so thickly, so
irrecoverably.

oil, oil, it drips so
slowly and sickly and
sweetly.

Big hair, don’t care
With cherry cola lips
Hotpants flatter her hips
She’s a roller derby girl
Gonna give you a twirl
Skating in a rock’n’roll rink
She gives me a wink
As she rolls on by
I think she might be bi

Color Me Yellow
Bright,
bright,
yellow.

I grew up knowing
to never look at the sun,
to just trust it was there.

I was taught,
to never look forward,
if the light is yellow.
"Prepare to stop."

I don't see color anymore,
except red.
except when the pain in my eyes
almost reached a different pain on my thighs.

we're Bright
even when nobody can ever see it
nor direct or indirect
Nor behind or in front.
nor in front or above you,

hanging like the photos of
when I used to be happy.

Bright,
bright
Yellow.