Jason L Rosa

Jason L Rosa Mar 2017

Was I ever really the one to say.
That this would ever be easy?
I never made a promise yet that I couldn't keep.
Yet every time you put up that face.
that face that tells me I've done wrong.
Shows you i couldn't promise you forever.
Cause dear,
there's just
something about the pain that keeps drawing me closer.
And I'm not quite sure it's the best deal in the house.
But I'm not budging.

My blinders were on for so long.
I thought it'd be nice to let go.
Excuse me if your death was just a product of my mind.
Sometimes, it needs to be there.
Sometimes, it helps.
And no, I still will not make promises to you that I know are false.
Because we've all been down the hard road, and dear.
I've been down too many.  Spare me ---

Were you the one who told me, "Love" is all we needed?
How could I ever ask that much from you?
I knew how naive you were, because in a far away land, I too, was in your shoes.
and even though the fire diminished in our violent wake.
I still have the need to thank you.
Because love is a lesson.
And even if our hearts cooled down and snuffed out the fire.
You taught me.  Yes. You taught me.
And yes dear.  I was a student and took it all in.
And yes dear.  I learned---

#love #heartbreak #life #loss #strength #growth #lessons

Jason L Rosa Mar 2017

Love Lesson Learned

through the eyes of my lovers i see.
the happiness they once brought to me.
my heart beating black and blue.
cuz all i could do was think of you.
cuz all i could do was think of you.
cuz all i could do was think of you.

please answer me how. how. how.
i don't know what to do now.
how do i feel something you stole from me?
how do i fall in love again?
how do i fall in love again?
how do i fall in love again?

was it me who said i couldn't live without you.
was it you who said you wanted more to go through.
this is hardly what i deserve.
you being my mentor of love.
and me being the love lesson learned.

another's smile is warming my heart.
but the void left there cools quickly.
it longs to beat another's name.
my heart needs it.
my heart needs it.
my heart needs it.

you're long gone, but I'm still a prisoner
of a love that rides like a tidal wave.
destroying everything in its wake.
passion, please break free
passion, please break free
passion please.
break free.

i want...
you to understand, this is going to hurt.
i want...
me to accept that there is no other way.

was it me who said i couldn't live without you?
was it you who said you wanted more to go through?
and this is hardly what i deserve.
you being my mentor of love.
and me being the love lesson learned.

Jason L Rosa Mar 2017

Confession

It was me and you,
Then one confession.
It was you on me and no resistance.

My lips still burn,
My memory still clear.
I felt perfect and free.
My mind racing back to relive it.
I wake up to nothing.

Was it a dream or a secret?
Do you need me to keep it?
It was me and you,
and one confession.
You on me without hesitation.

God it was you all this time.
And to let me know without a chance.
to let me know without romance.
to let me know without your pants.
to let me know like that.
you ****.
like that?

I woke up not knowing.
You woke up not saying.
I woke up blind, my eyes still behind.
My ears still ringing.
Your voice replays.
The night replays.

It was me and you and one confession.
Another day of love's long lesson.
teach me more, my heart gets stronger.
every day, my mind thinks longer.
life is cruel, just add another
name to those I've wished for under
the stars, the moon, a secret to keep
until we both wake from sleep
and we'll part ways and say I miss you
and never speak of when I'll kiss you
and we'll both sleep and wake tomorrow
memories just turned to sorrow.

It's quiet today.
And I hope you don't remember a thing
like you're pretending.
And I hope you dont feel this way.
But it was good to know.
No matter how I found out.
And it was good to know
you on me, and the one confession.

Every time I said I love you,
I meant it-meant it.

Jason L Rosa Mar 2017

I'm Ready

Listen Dear,
Close your eyes and just breath in, Dear.
Happiness is just over that bend there.
Open your eyes, realize its always been here.
You and I and all our love.
Fear? Nothing has come to break us,
but us.
Tears will be shed,
and I'm giving in, Dear,
Every night without,
your voice I hear.
Your honesty means so much, Dear.
Knowing there isn't love, without trust here.
Despite the words of hateful friends,
Peer into my eyes, Dear,
Lets finish the cries and loose ends, Dear.
I'm ready to be loved, Dear,
I'm ready to be loved.

Jason L Rosa Mar 2017

Wither

Turmoil
Is the sun
Crashing into
The Ice-Kissed Mountains

Denial
Is an antelope
Fighting inside the
Lion's clamped jaws

Paralysis
Is a bird that gives in
To human fascination

Masochism
The unconditional love
Of what hurts the most

Dissension
Having one mind
In a house of many standards

Wither
The fine art of aging
Through the storms
And vanishing within
your own shadow.

Jason L Rosa Mar 2017

Yearning

Chances are you don't feel the same
Significant value when I hear your name.
Partly because I've felt no shame
Hopelessly going about playing the game.

That all changed the day you stayed;
One special day our bond was made.
Rules were set that I obeyed,
Everyday I played a different charade.

Everyone in this town has gone by,
Instinctively I tell you another lie.
Vivid dreams distort me of you and I:
Rosa am I and I your guy.

So why can't my dreams come true?
Endlessly I've fallen in love with you.
Simply be yourself is all I ensue.
Tonight I'll wish upon a star for you.

Not out of lust, nor personal affair,
Can't afford to lose the bond we share.
Only God knows how it's not fair.
How a love like you comes so rare.

People tell me I should just let you go.
My emotions have been tethered to and fro.
How can they just say, "Let you go?"
All they see is the pale scarlet snow.

Enclosed is my love for you held secretly,
Never again my face you'll see.
Remembered in my heart you'll be,
Never again your face I'll see.

#love #gay #friendship #leaving #heartache

Jason L Rosa Mar 2017

Don't Worry

Don't worry, angel.
I know what you are thinking,
I know the situation well,
I've been there too.

You're worried he might hurt you,
Another broken heart pending,
But you see something different in him,
You see a future,
A life of happiness!

So how do you know?
How do you know he is the one?
Maybe it's those butterflies you get,
everytime his name is said.
It could be that aching heart
when you two are apart.

Yes, you've fallen in love,
You still have that dream
That this one could be true.
Yea, don't worry, angel.
I've been there too.

#love #doubt #desire #wanting #loveletter