I hope his love lives up to your standards, because my could not, and I wish you nothing but happiness

I remember being able to write poems about you, the words would come like ease, while I pained in writing the words, now I forget your eyes and the way you use to look at me, I forget your scent, I forget how our hands used to fit together, I remember thinking I could never forget you, I remember nothing

Your hearts like the snow, so ******* cold, but your brown eyes remind me of the warm summer, and the nights we spent together, and your scent makes me sick to my stomach, it reminds me of our last day together, but whenever I look at you I think of every good day we had, but the scent of your beauty reminds me of coldness inside of you

i don't watch home movies
hate them
reason being because
when i was young
i was looking for a movie
my mother
had recorded for me
and accidentally
put one in the vcr
that i'm not sure
i was supposed to see
i know the obvious response
"uh oh, ****"
sorry to disappoint
they were only marked with dates
  1991
on live television
montel williams asks my father
"how can you just throw
your child away like a piece of trash?"
   1994
i spend so much time
in the emergency room
that my parents stop
penciling in growth marks
on the frame
of my bedroom door
i always thought
it was because they believed
i would never grow out
of this sickness
sometimes i believe
the reason that they
never bought me a dream catcher
was because they never thought
i'd live long enough
to see them come true
   1996
i am eliminated
from a spelling bee
because i didn't know
the 'dad' is silent in 'family'
   2013
before i got into poetry
i used to do standup
none of my jokes were funny
one of the other comics
tells me my skits are dry
sometimes sad
he says "why don't you joke
about something like your family?"
so i say
"i never wore any sunblock
because i didn't want anything
to keep me from my father"
i say "what do you call christmas
without lights or heat?"
before he has a chance
to answer
i say "1997. better yet
why don't you
make like a dad and
leave"
   2014
every time we drive
past the hospital
my mother reminds me
how much it cost to save my life
like she'd rather
have her money back
she doesn't have to say
that sometimes she wishes
it was me who had died
instead of my brother
i can hear it in the way
she says "love you"
sometimes i imagine
that if i were to die
that she
would pick out a casket for a child
because she never loved
the person i became
yesterday i told my father
how close i'd been
to suicide lately
and he said
"that's my boy,
livin on the edge.."
and i can't remember
if i laughed
or cried

I hope someday

That you will know

The love that was born with you

And will die with me

I hope someday

That something

Will take your pain from you

I hope you know

That I wanted the pain

To end with me

I hoped

That I could make it better for you

I couldn’t

I am sorry

My love has never dulled

And only will

When I cease to be

I love you

And will never know

If you care

I can never change that

But I will replace you

I swear

With something

That will make me forget

Although

All of the things

I’ve tried in the past

Have not worked

Someday

I hope

it might take two to tango,
but not everyone knows how to dance

a.g

I remember being able to write poems about you, the words would come like ease, while I pained in writing the words, now I forget your eyes and the way you use to look at me, I forget your scent, I forget how our hands used to fit together, I remember thinking I could never forget you, I remember nothing