I gotta say, you sure know how to pick 'em.
I know that by now, you realize that I'm the furthest thing from perfect but for some reason you still saw something in me that made you want to spend the rest of your life with me. And to that again I say, you sure know how to pick 'em.

There are few things i want you to know about me before you get too heavily involved. You see, I am a nurturer by nature. I am the caretaker to all and the kind heart that everyone turns to. So I apologize if some days I am lost under the weight of the world I put on my own shoulders by accepting the problems of those that asked and believe me, everybody asks. I'm sorry if this can crush me to the point where I disappear but all I ask is that you help me find my way back again. Because you are the lighthouse for my stormy mind.

Another thing is that I can ask too much. I can lose myself in the problems of my own design and the problems designed by others and sometimes I will fall apart and not know how to put the pieces back together again. So I'm sorry for asking too much but I hope that you will learn patience and knowing to pick up the pieces, but let me put them back together.

I am also one with what you'd call "flights of fancy." I may want to be a pastry chef one day and then a French teacher the other, I will go through weeks, and sometimes months, where I will be preoccupied with only one thing. Just know that no matter where my imagination takes me, where my interests may lead, I will always come home to you because being your wife is the one thing that I can never stop wanting to do.

I'm sure you've already noticed how passionate I can be when I care about something. I will scream, cry, and cheer with everything in my being for the things that I believe in. Please don't laugh too much when I start crying over the death of a character in a book series or start screaming at the tv because the people talking are just so stupid and wrong and they need to know that they're wrong so I'm going to tell them even though they can't hear me... Just let me be, but also know when to tell me that I'm just being crazy. Because I know that I'm crazy, sometimes I just need a second opinion.

On the topic of second opinions, oftentimes I value the words of others more than I value the words of myself. Know that with a few simple words you can even lift me up to the heavens or you can tear me down further than you ever knew was possible. My uncertainty in myself will always be a problem and so I apologize if I constantly ask if I did anything wrong or if I upset you because I'm terrified that someday I will and you will leave like all the rest. I just want you to hold me. Tell me you love me even if I don't believe you especially if I don't believe you.

Be the husband I hope you will be and I will be the wife that I know I can be. Because even if it's hard, even if you get sick of the sight of me, even if the words that I say bounces off of you like water on a hot surface, know that I mean every word of "I love you" and I meant what I said when I told you "I do."

You are an *******.

You made me believe that every time you said I love you would be the beginning of something that would last forever, you made me believe that every time you held me in your arms it would be a safe place to go like the way that the birds fly into the trees and know that no matter where they go, they can always come home.

You made me believe that maybe someday I would be good enough to be somebody's mother.

You made me believe that when I looked into the mirror that I was somebody beautiful, not because of the way you held me, but that since you saw something and you never lied, it must be true.

So excuse me if I don't understand how you can look at me now as if I'm just an person in a picture that you forgot about, I don't know how you can look at her the way that you used to look at me and not feel the pain that I feel; knives ripping apart the heart that you worked so desperately to stitch back together then gave up on. I don't understand how you can say that you'd fight for her when you gave up your future with me so easily...

See... how can I go on with knowing that the future that I planned with you, the names that we named together, the plans that we made together would all crumble away with the few words "I don't think we should be we anymore." I accept my mistakes. I was not always right and I put too much on you, but I needed you...

I needed you and you left... because you said it was too much for you.

I told you that I could change and be better, but you said I was perfect just the way I was. You said that I didn't deserve you and when you said it, you meant I didn't deserve pain that you might put me through...

But you see...

How dare you tell me what I deserve.

How dare you tell me that my future that I planned with you was no longer an option. How dare you throw away the one love that listened to me when I said

"No. Stop. Please."

How can you look at me the way you did before before you knew the pain that I've gone through? I shared depths of my heart and parts of my soul that had never seen the sun, but now only know the warm light of your love.

I trusted you... And I trusted what we would become. I put all my eggs in a basket that wasn't woven quite right and watched helplessly as it fell apart. I hope that maybe someday you'll see what I saw and know that it's not fair for you to say I didn't deserve you when you made me feel like I deserved the world.

I just want you to see what I saw.

Somebody worth loving... and sharing my little part of eternity with.

Without your arms around me, how do I stay together?

I never intended for this to happen,
I never knew what could be.
I didn't think you'd be much more
Than a friend, nothing more, you see.

I never intended to hold you tight
And share my hopes and dreams
I forgot what it felt like to be cared for,
To repair my broken and torn seams.

I never intended to feel what I feel
And what I feel scares me to death.
But what I feel is strong and it's real
And I will defend it to my very last breath.

Because I never intended to fall for you dear.
I was a broken and terrible mess.
You've helped me see what I can truly be.
I just had to get this off my chest.

Love is painful.
It's not a soft and gentle thing.
Love can rip you in two, it can make you wish you were dead, and cause more pain than was ever wanted or needed.

But the pain of love is dulled every moment that you look and smile at me.
See the pain is unstoppable but it can be offset by the act us of being together.

Why must the hard work of others go unnoticed?
Why must the grinders be punished?
Why must I never know my true potential
And never discover myself?

Why are we all only driven by money
And follow the empty path before us.
The only way we can find our real calling
Is to close our eyes and jump into the void.

I wish I could say that I fall in love beautifully...
That I drift and soar with the wings of the birds on my heart.
That the air envys my weightless mind.
But I don't. I fall from the highest height into the deepest places of you and I
crash
Into love.

I lay atop your body
Breathing hitching,
You **** me nice and hard,
But I know you'll soon be gone.

I've learned the hard way lately,
I don't seem to mean much.
I'm just good for one thing
And then you leave.

Prince Charming isn't real, you see,
He's a child fantasy
He's never gonna come
To save the day

I know you're not the one,
I know it's not gonna last,
But it's still nice to feel loved
Even just for a little while

We were the best of friends,
Spending all of our time
Together
I can do anything
With you in my life.
Now that you’re gone
nothing ever feels right.
Take the clouds away
And bring back the light.

Nothing really matters
Without you by my side.
When you hold me in your arms
I feel alright.
Baby, come back to me,
I’ll stay here with you
Don’t leave me here alone
Please, don’t say goodbye.

We can spend all day,
talk about nothing forever
You are the thing that moves me,
You make me better
The sun doesn’t shine,
The rain clouds set in.
I would trade all my days
For one with you again.

Passing through the misty air,
In the gentleness of dawn,
I see the shining rays of light
Of which my heart grows fond.
The sleepy dew upon the petals
Shake in the morning breeze,
With the chirping of the morning bird,
My heart grows soft with ease.

The soft still light between the leaves
Comforts the weary heart.
And brings the rising sun inside
Keeping darkness out.
Now rest your worries at your feet,
No need to think of pain.
Just let sunlight fill your mind
And feel the peace again.

The day is cold
In this my hour of need
I want to curl up in my heart
And let the pain wash over me

I got no sleep last night
Feeling the bleeding of my heart
Let the darkness fill my sight
Let me fall apart

Maybe now the pain will stop
Maybe that is what I need.
If the cold knife is all it takes,
Then I don't know what's stopping me.

Just let me sleep forever
And let the darkness win.
No one would miss me anyway
They'd be happy once again.

My heart is broken,
Nothing’s real any more.

No point in returning to the way I used to feel. 

So much is hurting, so much has gone.

I wish you could see,

I don’t want to be alone anymore.

I still love you,
Yes I do.
The sun is darker
When you aren't around.
Please listen to me scream,
Listen and you'll find


That maybe, just maybe,
You still love me too.

The day seems like the night,

Endless clouds in the sky.

The rain will never end,

Every night I hear our last good-bye's.
I want to hold you,

In my arms.

Just know, my dear, you’ll always be here,

Inside my heart.

I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,

For all the pain I’ve caused.

I want to see you happy,

To take away your scars.

Perhaps in that heart of yours,

The heart I know so well

If you listen to it closely,
You'll hear it start to call for me.

*Come back... I need you too...
It'll be different this time...
Please, my love,
I still love you too...

Hold your head up,
Push away the dark thoughts,
Think only of the good you have done.
You'll soon be okay,
You'll soon come to see,
You don't have to be alone anymore.

There's a person who cares,
A person that thinks
That you are their whole world.
Just give them a chance
And hold out your hand
To take hold of the future with them.

The wind whispers softly,
Remembering the day
When everything was silent
And the earth was pure and new

The trees are quietly sighing,
Passing knowledge through their leaves,
Telling of the days gone by,
The secrets of today.

Breath in the stories
That the trees provide,
Listen to the knowledge
Shown by the wind.

Touch the air,
Feel the movement,
Keeping the fire of life.
The more you listen
To the world around you,
The more you are able to see.

Little girl,
Hiding in her bedroom.
Listening to the sounds of glasses smashing,
Voices screaming,
Crying softly in her corner.
She wants to run far far away,
But where is there to go?
She closes her eyes, looks inside,
And hardens her heart

That little girl is growing up,
She becoming something new.
All the boys know her name and see she's easy prey.
They use and abuse, but she doesn't really care.
If she mattered to anyone,
Maybe daddy would have stayed.

She's an adult, looking back,
On the mess of her life she's made.
She just puts on her mask and undoes her clothes
To find love she knows isn't real.
She knows the game and plays it well,
Nothing to her is real.
She wants to run away again...
But she can't, same as before

She dreams of the days befor the war
Between her mom and dad.
She could laugh and have fun, playing around in the sun,
Having no a care in the world.
She looks into the mirror and cries at what she sees,
She sees the little broken girl, hiding in her corner of the world.

Save me... Take me away from here...
She reaches out and pulls her close,
Rocking her gently through the storm.
When she opens her eyes and looks down,
The little girl is gone.
She sees she's holding herself,
Cause that's all she has in the world.

She runs to her drawers and pulls out the knife,
The only exit she can see.
She presses it to her pale, bare arms,
But removes it after a while.
She looks at her life and the mess that she's made and
She throws her head back with pride.
She packs up her things and leaves her fears all behind,
Finally, going far far away from the pain...

Pulsing at the speed of light,
Finding the perfect rhythm of life.
Seeing the world change and develop,
While ever bathing in their glow

Seeing nothing, hearing all,
Answering that desperate call
To be a guide, a light in the dark,
The hand to hold when it all gets hard.

Feeling the fire and the cold,
Remembering millions of wishes untold.
For the rich become powerful and the poor grow bitter,
Yet every single one has been awed by the sky

For when the child looks at the ground,
He sees nothing and hears not a sound.
Yet when the children look at the stars,
They see the universe taking them far.

Past the sadness and the hate,
Past the killings and the ****,
Through the darkness, it's always there,
Taking the dreamers into their dreams of old.

I just wanna pass through your empty eyes,
Finding the fire that used stop time.
Catch the moon in your smile and keep the stars in your heart,
Yet it seems that piece of you has left me alone.

Perhaps some small moments will bring you alive,
You'd become the person I once knew and loved.
You've become a shadow of the one you were
And I miss you... Come home.

Passing through the sunlit days,
Just trying to make it through,
I pass a stranger on the street
And I wonder about his heart.

Is he happy in his life
In the endless blue-bell haze?
Or is he, a stranger at best,
More like me than I am myself?

Does he spend his nights alone
Thinking of why and when and how?
Or is he lost in the thoughts of night
Wishing someone would understand?

Next time you pass a random person,
Nothing more than a face,
Say "hello." Brighten their day.
Who knows where that meeting may lead you.