drown in the hatred
of yourself
as they wish you were
something else
try to be good enough for them
because all you want
is to be wanted
no one's okay with who you are
not even you
bore them to death
with useless silence
and wish you knew
how to make them laugh
how to make them keep you
go back to the darkness
and let it surround you
because you're no better a person
than you were when you left it
still irrelevant
lost and hiding
notice no one
because they'll notice you
and then forget
as you fail to fill the silence
as you fail to fill what's missing in them
because there's so much missing in you
push them away
before they take hold of your heart
and drop it as if it burned them
when it only meant to be a little warm
before they see just how
unfixable you are
cringe in embarrassment
because you opened up
and no one saw what you were showing
cry rivers on the inside
because you'll never be perfect  
look at yourself
and see how you don't matter
you are no one
and to everyone
you are less
wish that mother would have
saw her mistake and ended it
so you wouldn't exist
distract yourself from this reality
before it suffocates you
with its truths you'd rather forget
-IrisMaddenPoetry

The sights fly past the windows
carrying with them
the last sounds of your voice
the wind takes away
the rest of your words
my hand has long forgotten your touch
and now I forget your face...
This dark void and time
takes everything
and we will never be everything
to each other
I'll never see enough of you
to not forget
We'll never be more...
07.31.16
-IrisMaddenPoetry

...and I'll search your eyes
for a hint that you've missed me
or maybe your touch
was only a dream
from my wildest imagination
Maybe it's only me
who has been longing for you
for what we could be
if you adored me
as much as I do you...
-Iris Madden

Rush these days
of restless pacing
of watching the clock
with an anxious heart
waiting to seek reassurance
through your hands
laced with mine
These seconds away pass too slowly
and the hours with you
pass too soon
Life's unfair
and I think too much
maybe I care too much...
- written 12.15.16
@IrisMaddenPoetry

Good surprises
leave me be.
Decent starts are deceitful,
and we're all heartbroken
by the end.
Sometime early
I dreamt of his love
Tomorrow our lips must go untouched,
Today I admitted who I've missed
but she should have just
left me alone as I was,
sparking past hopes
could be a murderous crime
if I had a passion
for anything at all.
My try at charm and wit
a pitiful attempt
to one so charming.
So scared of falling
back into the numbness,
but I'd never realized
how much easier life is
when you can't feel your feelings.
2.2.17
-Iris Madden

alone in mind
alone in body
alone in spirit,
lonely soul
and lonely heart.
to sleep you go
and all the words
die on my fingertips,
all the questions
move to take their spots
among things
I'll likely never again
find the courage to ask,
here's to hoping
one day
we'll know.
@IrisMaddenPoetry