If I were to send you all the letters I wrote,
the ones where my heart bled out the words
and where my tears painted the borders.
—where I laid out all my pain to rest,
you would know the depths my heart has tunneled,
just so I could make more space for you.
you would know the dreams I tucked away
for the day we reached our promise of forever.
you will find, there, the thousand different ways
I wish I could have said I loved you.
and a thousand
more ways I wished
I could have made you stay.
call them prayers, the way I begged the heavens
if there was a way to save a sinking ship.
or heal all the wounds yet to be inflicted;
or take away the memories yet to be made;
If I had sent them, would you have understood?
that there was no way for me to love you
any less than I did. That is the way that I am.
And there was no way for me to love you
and not lose myself. I’d have given you my soul.
and your glass would never have been empty
because I would have given you my all.