When the oceans rise
And thunders roar

I will soar with you
Above the storm

Father you are king
Over the flood

I will be still
Know you are God

I kept everything hidden
Stacked behind the thickest wall i built
It made me felt safe
It gave me all the hapiness in the world
Until one day the wall leaked
Suddenly im sitting somewhere alone
Pathetic and sad

The spaces behind it is no longer empty
All these painful memories rushing are making me weary
There is no running now
There is no escaping now
As a single tear drops from my eye
I realized the price i paid for that wall
Was myself

I know in fact this is never wrong
im not confused nor confounded
because i know in my very core
this is whats right
i cannot be wrong and i should not say its wrong
i need to fight this
to prove that its worthy of conflictions

You dare to beat without understanding,
for what lies beyond is'nt something reassuring
you dare to speak for you could negligent,
cause what may come after needs solving with intelligent
you tick for the forbidden
but yet you soar like it ain't burden

But i need to feel love for thats what we need
                                       We all need love but that aint the one kind
I want to be caressed by an angel
                                        You aint getting one lets cut it loose
Beautiful future to attend for me
                                         Attend my lessons you dont need attentions
Hope is faded for i am conquered
                                          Atlast! Atlast! fly free now like a bird
      
        
         From now on these sights will not be blinded by the light
                                         Cloud 9 has fallen
                                         Hope is fading
                      But maybe atleast judgment isn't rising?

And so i sneaked
To the garden of promises


Hearing the restless winds
Shout every moment witnessed
The stolen touch of our lips
The hidden moments of our actions

All the times i ponder in the garden
Was reasoned with love and happiness
The memories of sweet talks
And endless nights

But now, this time
The sun finally rises
All the promises were drifted
As the coldest wind
Touch the heart of once loved

The siren were loud
But stubborn was i
I never listened

So the consequences
Left by stupidity
Will be faced with guilt and regret

Once happy
Now in despair


And so i left
To the so called "garden of promises"

One day,
When dust and ashes becomes us
And all there's left is a house made of memories
I hope i'd see you
In a life after the end.

I like stars and moon
I like planets and universe
I like rocks and stardust
I like universe and the cosmo
Most importantly i like you
Because i created all those
When im with you

Today I am bold
I'm not wearing PRIDE, EGO, and SELFISHNESS, but I am wearing and holding LIES
Lies that keeps a certain batch to stay together with love and friendship . Lies that makes me guilty of knowing it can hurt somebody's feeling. Lies that may soon rapture and burst that could explode someone's temper
I don't want to hold these lies which is why I try to fix things with my knowledge and observations. I need to keep and hold them until I can persuade both to realize what they're doing destroys something.

Days have passed with all the same aura and sides. But still I was, believing and staying positive about what I'm doing, until something hit me. The truth hit me hard! I just realized that i already knew the truth I was just denying and regreting it. Suddenly I felt tired, maybe I was tired of linking them but not getting any connections, or maybe I'm not just good enough in attaching.Maybe it's time to LET GO?

I am tired
Im exhausted and i want to give up
I dont want to feel like im masked by layers and layers of insecurities
I dont want to pretend that im always ok
Im tired

I feel like i just want to cry but i cant
I think this is what happens when you pretend too much
You wont be able to feel normal things that you're  supposed to feel
Why does it has to come this way

Im scared to soar
Im too frightened to fly
I dont even talk to my friends very closely anymore
I dont even want to walk around the neighbour
I just dont have the confidence anymore

Everynight i think about my self
It kills me inside knowing how things have change
And knowing im not the same person anymore
It just gives me anxiety and depression

I want real friends
I want a bestfriend
I want a friend that i can share with
A friend that i can be honest with
And a friend who can accept me for who i am

I need a friend who i can confidently show the real me without layers of mask and pretentions

I got so drunk to you
It made me lose sight to what mattered
My family went blurry
My friends went away
And i stayed drunk
I stayed thirsty for love

I stayed addicted
To your poison paradise
In remorse

Trust takes time to build
Like a pile of a 20 meter bricks
But if you throw your betrayal at it
You will watch it fall
It may stack up again
Only this time it's 15 meters shorter

My heart has been dead
For quite some time
Im surprised, really
Because you still manage
To break and hurt me
My heart once wasn't beating
Now in pieces, scattering

Sometimes
I wonder what would it be like
If i told you my truth
If i shared you my story
If i offered you a door to my heart

I would have never ever wear a mask again
But i just dont think i have it in me
I don't have the guts
To open the pandora's box inside me

Someday,
I'll eventually find the courage
To burn this bridge between us

And I'll watch you crumble
Before my very own eyes
As my heart witness you drown
In a pool of tears
I wasted

Vague, a word used for uncertainity
Vague, a word used for unclarity
Vague, a word used for your sincerity

You know why your sincerity?
Because your love for me is uncertain
Even a telescope cant see it clearly
For it possess so much unclarity

You should accept me
Not because i accept you
Accept me
Because you accept me

Love me
Not because i love you
Love me
Because you love me

I yander
I ponder
To your mind
Full of wonder

Where am i you said?
I am only here standing in front of you
I am only here waiting for you

But why are you asking?
Are you broke?
Are you drunk?

Cause it would be a miracle
A miracle that is impossible to happen
But why would i believe didnt i say its impossible?

You only need me
When you want something from me
You only see me
When you are down and ignored
You only talk to me
When no one does to you

And most importantly
You only loved me
When you knew that
I am desperately willing to give you everything even if it destroys me

Im just a toy
A toy with specs of dust
For i am blurry to your sight
A toy that you play
When your bored and down
Just like a puppet
That you stringed
To use and control me

As we were facing the coldest winter
I had the warmest heart

Another season of winter has come

Now, mine's as cold as the season

I saw a star
A wishing star
It was far but i reached it
I grabbed it and caged it
I forced out the light, the magic, the tales hidden behind it
A wish to be captive, only then i can be stopped
A wish for the healing
A wish for the best
A wish for this desperation to stop
only then i can rest
Only then i can sleep

I saw a star
It was quite far
Falling from the sky
With it's blinding light form afar

It only takes one eye to see
What monster the people have become
Yet even with two
Many still chose to get blindly
Selfish and arrogant

A true artist
Uses experience as it's greatest ink

Alongside with it's color of emotions

Trick or Treat!
I never had to choose
You just offered them both
Who am i to refuse?
When i needed you most

A trickster at midnight
A treater in daylight
Im just a dog
Loyal to a termite