the bugs crawling, decorticating my skin,
my thorny spine trying to escape
as my mind starts sinking,
making me aware of every part of my body
the attentive audience of all i perceive to be staring at me
                                            Deserted
i thought, maybe isolation would get the better of me
as ever inch of my soul leaves my autonomy
                                           Floating
in a state of fear, but yet bliss
i see vivid colours melt in the sky
                                         Deteriorating
but i am away from all the fear,
i am away from my self
as soon as i venture back,
                                        Falling
i am scared once again

I hold down your eyes, forging a filter of darkness
My daunting arms holding you down. Making you slow.
I drag you to the places you forgot existed
I wander the sinister alleyways of deserted thoughts
I force feed you your own spoiled hatred until you’re so full you cannot eat
and so sick you cannot sleep
I steal the fluorescence from everything you see
You only write sad poems because of me

- depression

before you, i lived as an empty silhouette waiting to be overflowing with love and warmth
i don’t believe in soulmates
our love is more than that
our initials aren’t engraved into anything immortal or written in the very stars we gaze upon
but they are engraved in our hearts flowing through every vein of our existence
i wasn’t drawn to you because it’s been a prophecy for centuries before the earth even knew our names
but because my heart desires every part of you, all your beauty
when our bodies became intertwined
teaching me how to trust
you wrapped your love around me
and cocooned me
becoming the catalyst for change I needed

The lilies and the butterflies would grow from the demons
As I remember to forget
Forget all that I hate, that I am
because of what others made me
I wish I could have a fresh start
But the memories will forever haunt me
From these memories, blossom will grow
Happiness will arise
One day
But it is not a fresh start
Only change
As The winter trees grow blossom and become something new
the roots stay the same
The lilies seeds came from something that died
And from the evil and the demons, something beautiful grows.

7:30am, and sleep is yet to find me
Her angel wings have forgotten to lift me up to a harmonious land
Where my hands don’t shake
And I stop counting the hours till when the day starts
I wonder if she will ever find me
Will her moonlit eyes ever meet my gaze?
I need her to protect me from the poison of misery
The dark lasts so long when you can’t close your eyes