My thoughts are poisoning me and you're the only antidote

60, 59,
the countdown has begun;
55, 54,
2015 was anything but fun.
50, 49,
alone on New Years Eve, as usual;
45, 44,
my desire to be loved; immovable.
40, 39,
i've had countless brushes with death
35, 34,
and it's like feelings of nostalgia are ****** in with every breath.
30, 29,
no family present on this miserable day,
25, 24,
all alone; make way as the unloved fade away.
20, 19,
i hope next year will be better;
15, 14,
that is, if i last until then.
10, 9,
i suppose it's crazy that in a few seconds,
something 365 days long,
will be over
5, 4,
oh please don't let this be the end...
3,
2,
1,
...
i am alive.
*happy new year