she can love your body
but she can't touch your soul
why does it take two people
to make you feel whole

For everyone, I was always too much,
For you, I was never enough,
I still yearn for your touch,
I am tired of being tough.

Breathing has become a torture,
Every time I try I find myself suffocating,
I feel like a mourner,
Weeping over our ashes, waiting.

Doubt is what you gave me,
It’s crushing my lungs,
Please set me free,
I no longer want to sing tragic songs.

this isn’t going to make sense
cause it’s not supposed to
and if I’m being honest
this isn’t for you
it’s not even for me

I’m stuck
I’m trapped
I’m lost
I’m every other word that describes people who feel at a dead end

I’m typing on a ****** phone
That’s connected to a ****** connection
That could possibly be a metaphor for my life

I’m writing
Because I don’t know what else to do

I’m writing
Cause that’s what they told me to do

But they also told me that what I think isn’t always true
That I’m special and I just don’t see it

But that’s the thing
I don’t see it

And if I don’t see it then why should it matter if anyone else does

And if I’m thinking something why should it matter if it’s true

What matters is that it’s in my head
What matters is that it’s always there

But here I am
Stuck in the same place
Back to square one
No progress made
The same questions, whether true or not

Will I amount to anything?
Do I really help?
Am I really worthwhile?
Do you actually care?

I see these people
When I’m online
They smile and post
They edit and pose

I can’t help but wonder

Do you really smile, or do you just do it to look happy like me?
Do you really feel happy, or are you trying to lie like me?
Do you understand what I feel?

Or is it just me?

I’m not trying to be selfish
I don’t want a lot
I just want to be happy
And I want others to be happy with me
But neither is happening

So instead there’s a poem
That doesn’t even ryhme
That makes no sense
  I’ll try harder

don't make promises
you can't keep

can't fight the monsters
i can't see

you hold me like you care
but you don't love me

don't tell me i make sense
then make me feel crazy

everyone is around
somehow i'm still alone
it ever used to be this way
then again
no one used to know