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In life you go through changes
You can either grow with them
Or you can stay the same
No matter what you gotta grow and maintain to make change
All change matters
 Feb 2019 habiba
Blue Jay
 Feb 2019 habiba
Blue Jay
‪I just feel like falling.. at this point I don't mind that there's no one to catch me.‬
I see you.
With your heart of stone
I see you
With your gilded mask
I see you
With your diamond tears
I see you
With your blazing tongue
I see you
With your glass smiles
I see you
With your empty eyes
I see you
With your fragile hands
I see you
With your broken lies
I see you
With your stooped shoulders
I see you.
Everything you are,
Everything you are not.
I see you
And I care.
I see you, because you are like me.
 May 2018 habiba
 May 2018 habiba
I don’t find myself being happy,
My taste in men is rather lacking.
They’re like the whiskey in my mouth I taste when I’m hungover.
Feels good at the time but I’m always sorry when it’s over.
I don’t feel good enough in my current relationship,
The man I’m with .. makes me feel like a *******.
He doesn’t look at me the way he looks at other woman,
and he tells me clothes don’t do me justice and that I look better naked.
and the lies are too hard to ignore anymore,
When I have to fight for his attention and he treats me like I’m his chore.
He said he was on his way home to go to to bed, but he did me real *****,
he already told me earlier he got invited to go out drinking at 10:30,
But why would he lie?
Because the last time we went out drinking together he did things that really hurt me.
This relationship is toxic because I already knew what would happen after that lie.
He’d ignore all my texts and “forget to reply”
The way it works is he will apologize and feel bad the next day,
Because I’m such a nice girl and he sees his mistake,
But it’s not enough to say I forgive him or pretend it’s okay,
Hes breaking my trust every lie, each day.
I’ve tried so hard to get him to realize how much I care,
But he doesn’t seem to understand what he’s doing isn’t fair.
From the candlelit dinners to the mixed CDs and “Bang Me” valentines cake, i now realized were a waste of time and my own **** mistakes.
The nights I spent running my fingers through his hair ...which was he favorite thing
will just have to be memories that he’ll have to bear.

Because I’m not enough to get him to change,
It’s not enough to be me.
I haven’t any choice anymore
Hes forcing me to leave
 May 2018 habiba
Robert Frost
I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain—and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.

I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.

I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,

But not to call me back or say good-by;
And further still at an unearthly height
One luminary clock against the sky

Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.
 May 2018 habiba
A moment, eternal-
As I write these words in my journal.

I do not write for the sake of writing.
I do not write for the egotistical citing.

Wherever I may be and whatever I am doing
There are constantly thoughts and ideas brewing.

And, yes, those thoughts may be neither good or bad
They may uplift others, but inside make me sad.

Whilst you read and try to find meaning,
You may never understand, behind the book, what I am feeling.

There may be times that we have parallel energies;
Like constellations bring their warming memories.

Alas, nothing is permanent, even those galaxies far away
Pleasure and pain are inevitable to decay.

What a fickle thing verses and lines are,
Shifting colour from blue to red, a young and old star.

You need not hesitate to paint the abstract
Carve moons in my eyes and play the act.

Lies and truths have their worth in tales
The narrator may indeed bargain for their sales.

The rain may keep falling, icy storms in silver planes
Whilst you remain caged in the wounding pains.

You need not worry, traveller,
for these words are soothing lullabies.

For now, let's sing under a haven of flora
and look up to the azure skies.

The day will soon come-
When I breathe the final air out of my lungs.
When my final song is sung.

— The End —