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 Feb 2018 jack of spades
del
i spend so much time
looking back at memories
my eyes cant focus.
 Dec 2017 jack of spades
avalon
dark eyes. laughter.
i don't remember a time
without a smile. were you
as funny as i
though you were? no.
perhaps i just hoped
one day you
would fall for the laughter
in my eyes
like i fell
for the laughter
in yours.
reminiscing.
 Dec 2017 jack of spades
daniela
there is nothing more american than superman.
i know this, not born but raised in kansas.
at the movies, when the man of steel tells
the government agent that “ma’am he’s from kansas,”
the entire theatre starts applauding.
he is the only illegal alien people from kansas will ever clap for.
when i was little, my father used to tried convince me
that he was alien, just not an illegal one,
because, well, it was technically true.
he’s just like superman, really, a boy living in a world
that’s not quite his that he loves anyways.
white kids in my classes never laugh at that story
but i still think it’s pretty funny. white kids in my classes never
like a lot of things i keep talking about, writing about.
because they’re always talkin’ about bootstraps
like everyone is born with the same pair of shoes
and i can never stand that.
because america is not a dream, it’s a meritocracy.
i mean, superman, that’s why we love you, right?
you’re the best and we only like things that are different
when they are cutting edge, bodies sharp
but not knife blades, nothing too lethal.
the reason we should allow immigrants in the country is
because of how they stimulate the economy,
the reason we should fund public education
is to keep kids “off the streets,”
the reason we should stop burning our planet alive
is because we have nowhere else to go,
the reason we should care about another person is always
bound to how they affect us. and i’m tired of penning arguments,
aiming to teach people how grow empathy a few years too late.
stop talking about my people like they’re dollar signs,
like we’re only worth our output. you like us when we’re superman,
sob stories to success stories, model minorities.
but you hate us when we take up too much space.
you hate us when we’re too angry or too loud or too comfortable.
you like us grateful, don’t want us to ever ask for more.
can all our american dreams live at the same time?
or are they pack of cannibals, eating each other out of existence?
does a dead boy in kansas mean the same to you
as a dead boy in syria? do you cry for him in the same way,
is his body just as heavy in his mother’s arms?  
riddle me this, if a body falls hard against the concrete
and his murderers walk around as if they are not murderers
then does it make a sound?
how much is it worth?
how much is it worth?
 Dec 2017 jack of spades
avalon
CPR
 Dec 2017 jack of spades
avalon
CPR
minutes falling and counting and
running away as i chase them,
laughing at my face, laughing as i
reach for them, whispering
what does she think she can do?
our lives ended before they began.
does she pluck time's harp strings
so well she believes she
can pull seconds into hours?
can she force heartbeats
from wilted flowers?
.
 Nov 2017 jack of spades
alex
i’m not sure what it is
about being a stranger
that makes them all seem so beautiful
the faces in the crowd
blend together
but not before i notice
every single one of them.
i’m not sure what it is
about abandoning their identities as strangers
that makes them all seem so beautiful
strangers are strange
and i think we all become strangers
to ourselves at some point
and so
aren’t we all beautiful to ourselves
at some point
too?
the bus is the best place for introspection
 Nov 2017 jack of spades
avalon
conversational   tones too often
tumble into sloppiness, leaving
my words marked with fumble
-d caresses and stuttering half-t
-houghts. i don't leave you with
my leftovers on purpose, they d
-ropped  into my purse when i c
-ame to see you today. a lot of th
-ings drop into  my mind when i
see you. but it's mostly  your wo
-rds. perhaps my only love affair
was with the   letters you placed
under my name. i never wanted
to be beautiful until you wrote o
-f it with a ball point pen;  never
dreamt of living extravagantly u
-ntil you dusted me in spices and
sparks with flecks of ink and the
marks of your fingers. you crafte
-d everything you loved about m
-e. you are the only reason i am e
-xtravagantly in love  with the fle
-cks and sparks under my skin. y
-ou planted whispers beneath my
eyes and called them  dangerous.
but only you      were  dangerous
to                                               ­  me
this is new. this is the breath of winter as it fogs before your eyes, this is disguise, this is the hundred times you laugh before you start to cry.
 Nov 2017 jack of spades
haley
SMELL
my favorite, old,
yet loved book;
the yellowed pages
bent at the corner
as bookmarks,
and
margins full of notes

SEE
a young adult
with a goofy aura,
a gentle smile,
and
an adventurous look
that never leaves your eyes

TASTE
your kisses
are addicting
and
sweet like honey

TOUCH
soft
and
tender
yet
aggressively intimate

HEAR
your voice
calm and relaxing,
your laughter
is music to my ears
and
authentic

FEEL
(as this is different from touch)
warm
and
cozy,
it comforts me,
safe
and
protected,
on a rainy day indoors
curled into your arms


home is where the heart is
and
it beats for you
to the love of my life
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