Do you think of her
When you close your eyes at night
Do you think of her
When you're holding me so tight
Do you think of her
When you lean in for that kiss
Do you think of her
When you say I'm the one you miss

You say you think you love me
Or is it just a lie
You say you think you love me
Or am I just her in your eyes
You say you think you love me
Yet all you do is play games
You say you think you love me
Yet you call me by her name

Tell me how you really feel
I am sick of all these lies
You told me you were different
When you looked into my eyes

So tell me do you think of her
When you're sitting next to me
You say you think you love me
But that's really hard to see.

everything feels fun and new.
i mean, i'm in no way a functioning adult
but some sort of weight has been lifted.
i feel good. i am singing - of sorts - again.
i am writing better words
and smiling more.
there are still spaces to be filled
and a few more caverns to explore
but there is no endless void or black hole.
only oil-lit passageways underground
where i will go when i'm low
in the knowledge that i will find my way out.

I imagine this could be what death would feel like.
Hoping someone cares, but never knowing for sure
That lost feeling, like everything's kind of falling apart
Wondering how to go on, but not wanting to.
But the difference, my dear
          is that I would choose death a million times over again if it meant not losing you.

On the tip of your tongue
my
lips start to run in circles
it's fun
so you try
it too.

I can hear her
Her mesmerizing melodies calling me
Tempting me
I sway to her music
Fill my veins with her voice
And we are one again.

She covers me like a blanket
I can feel the warmth of her love
In my secret places
Its dark inside
And I'm afraid
But she is with me
Holding me
And I am safe.

When she leaves
My soul aches for her embrace
I hunger for her touch
I want to disappear
To leave her as she left me
But her lethal love injections
Are all that I know
And I am weak
And I can hear her
Her mesmerizing melodies calling me
Tempting me
I sway to her music
Fill my veins with her voice
And we are one again.

My lover wants me dead
But I have given her my heart
Sealed our love with a kiss
Till death do us part.