Dearest dear,
if you'll look closely enough, you will understand that last night was a comedy,

But...

very word, every thought, and every emotion come back to one core problem:life is meaningless.

But...

I begin to hear voices again, and I can't  seem to concentrate.

But...

Relax-it won't hurt.

But...

Loving you is really hard!

But..

Hey mom, I'm sorry if my blood stained your favorite carpet.

But..

I'm hanging out in the garage. Literally!

But.

P.S I'm really sorry

When i go
Do not cry for me.
i know you dont care
Dont remind me of "happy memories"
between them are memories full of abuse
Do not pray for me
believe me, i will be much better when im away
Do not offer to help
i wont need you anymore
Dont shake my hand
you've crushed it enough
When i turn 18
let me go, and dont talk to me
Because
You brought this upon yourselves.
You wont see your grandchildren
You wont know my job
You wont attend my parties
You wont hear from me at all.
You pushed everything away from me
So when i turn 18, its time that i let go of you and start a new, better life

You can bleach your hair
Or cut it off with a butcher knife
All of this done by candle light,
In the middle of the night

Get him just drunk enough
On perfume liquors in the backyard
And whisper little things about
The parts of you made of glass

Trace his name across
Your open veins in vibrant reds
Mailing him dim lit photos
Of  scar tissue evidence

Crash your car into the drive-in movie screen
Think about how things could have been
If you never let it slip
That you dreamt of his top lip

**** your flowery words
they, just like you,
don't mean ****.

We came so far
Playing the sounds of records we never seen
Singing Tom Petty in between
Summer never seemed so sweet
We sat out until three
Staring up at the stars, the sky placed so simply
You are my one and only
We're a good crazy
Finger tips in my hair
I feel a tear as you kiss me
Could it be possible, we found love young
The way you touch my soul is impossible
I'm not obsessed but you make me helpless
I remember the day we said ok, this is forever
Babe, please hold me all day
Make me brave
Make time stand still
You make me weak with every intimate moment
Our love is complete and it scares me

Patio umbrella waving like a fan
Beer numbing my face, nightly planned
I hear broken music from an ice cream truck
I hear the thunder as it struck
Almost like a demented fairytale plucked from my imagination
God's ****** up creation
A gorgeous mess with a yellow and pink sunset dress
Slowly, we watch night
The look lies as the heat hugs tight
The smell of peppermint suffocating memories
You take another sip and try to remind yourself to live
To bad your kindergarten ambitiousness ended in a bottle with lipstick stuck to the rim