I was meant to be your crutch because you bruised your legs..
Yet I walked away just as you were about to put your hand on my shoulder
The voices steered me away and even though my heart relentlessly told me to go back and pick you up, the voices muffled it's sound
Even as my soul also told me you were on the floor..unsupported.my head was fixed to the front
You always thought I was the strongest fighter ever to be born to this earth
But I wasn't.. I failed
I let some whispers that were all in my head dictate how I cared for you and that is not right.
Poetry may not solve this...maybe nothing will but maybe one day you will let me dust off the dirt that gathered when you fell

To blow out the candle burning in the spiteful darkness
Is to wait until the feverish snake devours my toes and kisses my bones

I cannot allow my only light to be snatched
Leaving me to hug a shroud and to wait for the faint sound that will signal my end

I instead shall burn a hundred candles,a thousand if my hands are not tired and burnt.
Coaxing the darkness out to die by the hand of light

Days that are gone
Are counted more than the days that are here

Dear Mr President,
My mother told me I was the universe
So I will be ****** if I am told I am only a kitchen
If I am told that I am 'the other room'
I am the universe Mr President, stars and all
So do not mistake me for rooms in a house
Because they will never be able to contain my spirit

Dear nightingale, won't you sing to me your sweet song?
As I watch the moon cast it's shadow unto your tainted wings?
I want to be absorbed in a world of your tune
Dancing until the sun allows us

Like a fog so thick and consuming
it comes when you least expect it
When your children are tucked in bed
And your lips are tucked in red wine
**Death

Deleting this account goodbye to every friend or foe I met on here.

Does death inspire you?
His preciseness?
His skill?
His unpredictability

The way he may come in winter
but then leave us be till summer?

Does death inspire you?
with his cool demeanour
and shaded eyes
the way he never gets up
and just keeps going

Does death inspire you
to live and be you?

I felt something last night, a body against mine
It was real but like a dream at the same time
I was struggling, I was petrified
I was shaking and fearfully cried
Last night there was too much body contact
Last night was not a dream

Those drunken nights
Spent on the streets
Those drunken nights
With tired feet

Those drunken nights
Spent with those bottles
Those drunken nights
Craving warm cuddles

Those drunken nights
Talking with your demons
Those drunken night falling asleep for eaons

Those drunken nights
When all seems ****
When you die more than you should

lovE is Evol
Just spell it backwards

You held me together so tight
But it wasn't till I was touched and fell apart did I realize you were fake glue.

Sometimes I feel like fall

When I arrive

Things die

I'm fascinated by my ability to be useless

I stalk,
And then I find you in my belongings
I find you between age old books as a stained piece of paper unbelonging in the chapters
I find you behind a photograph stained and almost unrecognisable, I find you there as worn out ink and there I try to read you but fail oh so miserably
I continue to search for you, find you and lose you again in the mass of my clutter while the clock ticks on waiting until I find you again

I was used to the beep...the beep of the smoke alarm in my body,telling me my heart was on fire again and burning vibrantly and happily.

I took that for granted and now all I feel is the dying fire and the embers that are losing their glow.

In the sea we call the world you have two choices

You either float and let yourself be seen for who you are

Or you try to blend in and end up being swallowed whole

My emotions are like a flower shop
You admire the beauty of the flowers up front
That you hardly notice the wiltering ones at the back

Forgetting,is a gift
but I never got the chance..
You were just ripped from my memory

I do not know you,
But this is for you,
Look at your friends
Their love is true
They cannot bear to see you cry
As they pray you do not die
As I look around
I see so many you have touched
You are loved beyond what you may know
So please Andy do not go

Upon my hands I hold fear
It isn't something I hold dear

It frightens me in reality
It hunts my dreams

It tells me
"Nothing is as it seems"

Upon day break it speaks softly
But at night it is loud

Gathering in my head a large un silent crowd

It whispers about demons
It whispers about legions

About how they will choke me in my sleep
If I was to dare fall to deep

So I stay awake
As he tortures me overnight
He is my enemy and his name is fright

Frost is like coffee compared to you

I stare into space wondering why your ribs are so hollow.Your cheeks stand out and your collarbone begs for tomorrow.Your brown eyes beg for my help and attention.Your skin has scars and marks of a nation.You think your tears make you weak,and that is why you refuse to speak.You just keep your silence and continue to draw.upon you broken and fragile wrists.And as you lay your head on my lap.I swear I heard something inside you snap.

And so shall my presence be gone
Upon the wind and never return.

Why can't we be like grass?
When it gets stepped on,it gets back up

My great grandmother is gone
But when I speak
She lives once more
And when my mother tells her tales
It is as though I was present for every moment

Every moment when she spoke when she meant to be a "silent woman"
Every room she was in when she was meant to be an "absent woman"

She was vast,
Always more than expected
And always enough for herself

When you're a baby your friends are your bottle and your mothers hands

When you're three your friends are Mr.teddy and lego

When you're six your friends are your new bike and the occasional scratch on your knee from falling

When you're ten your friends are your tree houses and making forts out of old bed sheets and a white dress you found in your mothers wardrobe

When you're thirteen your friends are magazines and a pair of kitty heels

When you're 16 your friends are a scale and a measuring tape

When you're eighteen your friends are a whiskey bottle and pills

When you're 20 you realize you lost all your friends and your only company will be the shadows

I'm compelled to cry
But the age old question is....does that make me weak?
Someone please tell me because I'm getting cold

He weaved me with delicate fingers
The fingers of an artist old yet new
He told me to give my heart freedom
And to never cage my emotions
He told me I was free
And that I was never a mistake
That I should just be
He caressed his way through my hair and past my ribs
Untangling my secrets and my shadowy fears
He kissed his way up the roses of my dreams
And yes he planted a garden in my chest
Tulips,Daisies,dafodiles and more
And he wrote me poetry.For every day I was sad
And felt I deserved more,
More than just the floor keeping my weak body up
He just was

When you are heartbroken the whole world turns gray

And all you needed is someone to show you the rainbow again

Is my heart connected to my inbox?
Because they are both empty

I die inside everyday but no one sees,but all honesty there is no one to see.I walk the streets alone and dance on the raging sea,when the night is still young and i see the purple left by the sun.Blood and tears mix and fall upon the canvas of my skin,broken.memories replaying in my head.My heart.knocks against my hollow chest,begging me to feed it with the love it knows exists.I thud against my chest,silencing my frightened heart,giving it smoke of relentless pain instead to quench its thirst.Then my limbs ask for attention too,begging to be coaxed awake for once and not left to die like autumn leaves,I silence them too.Finally my eyes ponder at the sight they see,black and white,what happened to the purple the sun left they ask.I silence them as well and they sleep for eternity

They all ask me if I want to die
How can a dead plant die again?,unless its torched in that case set my body alight.Watch it burn and fade as the smoke melds with the tortured clouds.As my remenants become bad omens to the once blue skies.
Listen to the sizzle of burning skin,as the tears you are forcing come out in inadequate drops.
But no,I am not dead.Not physically but oh how I corrode inside,waiting for the day when all can smell the decay.
I wait for arms to evelop me,if not yours then his or hers.Greedy eyes,I wait for them to drink me but how I am left to wait is a sin on its own.
I wait however,still waiting as my arm burns itself with its own sorrow,I wait and it seems like forever until maybe the moon will be full enough for me to see my reflection and call upon the other lost souls of the world.

Her ******* you say
Are only good for suckling
For your needs
For your mouth
So you tell your friends as your laughter vibrates and shakes the room
You fail to tell them that her ******* often cradle your head when you weep
That the only vibrations in those moments are you choking on tears

Her hips you say
Are only good for holding her in place
For making her stay
Because "she's yours"
You fail to tell your friends those hips are often the only thing that hold you up
When you are shaking
And the world is spinning
That they are the only thing that steady your feet

Her hands you say
Are only good for chopping, stirring, serving
For creating anything you desire
You fail to tell them that those hands are often your only saving grace
That those hands have pulled you up when you could not find the strength to

So you forget
All the things about her that keep you alive
Instead you tell the things you believe she is only alive for

He set me free
He broke the chains
He helped me stand
He gave me new legs to run
He is my hope
My salvation
And without him nothing is possible.
I am free,because he set me free

He will love you like there is no tomorrow.
Hold you like you are the last hope on earth.
Touch you like his fingers haven't experienced the gold that is your body.
He will praise you and raise you up like the highest mountain.
Display his love for you in torrents of unspeakable affection.
He will treasure you as though you are a rare gem,
One that so many explorers have tried yet failed to discover.
He will remind you of how beautiful you are
And how you deserve the space you occupy in this world.
And he will always make sure you realize just how truly special
And cherished you are and make sure you don't feel less important than you truly are

You cannot swim my dear,
Yet you beg the ocean to love you
Then it swallows you whole to the very bottom of its belly
And it's like you were never there
And when new lovers ride his waves
He caresses them with the same blues
He used to crush you

His hands were to be strong enough to carry us both
But how bruised and battered were his hands
How broken were his fingers
And where were his nails?

But he was told he needed to be stronger,  
To carry me even when his hands were broken
But they forgot I could walk
And I could lift him with me

''Mirror mirror on the wall please show me my every flaw''

My response is..

''Dear dear before me you're horrid theres the door''

I see the tears and i cant help but smile

At the power i have over you every while

''Mirror mirror you're so harsh!''

''Please stop screaming you are trash''

You gaze at your reflection

You have no direction

You scream and you cry

But i also want to

Having you to go through.

Every day

Every minute

Same old question.

I try to tell you

''you are perfect''

But you always feel low

like a reject

Then now i show you everything you think is wrong

Boom boom boom like a strange song

You listen to all my lies

As you do everday

Me the mirror and what i have to say.

Now i watch you twirling around

Your self esteem wont touch the ground

''Wow i look perfect just as always''

And i feel like strangling you just as always

But a mirror with no other job

I stay there watching you smile

not watching you sob

You're never exisiting pain

And your forever arrogance

Makes me want to watch you dance

on sweet sweet broken glass.

No respect

short little nonesense

As you think you're queen

But i am royal

and will remain forever so

I am the mirror

the torture of your soul.

As i watch you

shy but certain

my smile is permanent

I'ave watched you grow

I'ave watched you so

Now complete

No more tears

No more fragile years

You love yourself at last

The pain is long gone

A distant past

I awoke this morning to a feeling in my heart
I had to come on here and not just to try vanquish my demons no...there was something more
I got here this afternoon and I couldn't help but smile at all the love I received.
People liked my poetry and wanted me to stay.
I'm not leaving...not anymore

Pelvic stars glow across my being,
But just because this light allures you does not mean you are welcome to take what lays in between the infinite universe of those stars

No...

I dreamt of a dream
Where I was happy in happiness
Where I was sad in sorrow
And anger in rage


I dreamt of a dream
Where I was paradise to heaven
Where I was lucid to water
And flames to fire

I dreamt of a dream
Where I was a dreamer of illusions
Where I was the harmony of peace

If the noose was around my neck and not his
If the blade was in my hands and hers
If the pills where down my throat and not theirs
My face would still not be on the news
My name would still not be sung
My memory would be wiped off like last Octobers dust

I feel like a ghost town
so empty
torn down doors and rancid smells
what could they be?

I feel like a ghost town
creaking hinges and naked trees
strange roads and strange noises
what could they be?

I feel like a ghost town
not a single open shop
no visitors
where could they be?

I'll show you my scars I've been hiding for so long

I'll tell you of all my pain and how it stung

I'll bleed out to you and you can watch me cry

Because eternally I watch myself die

I'm afraid though of all the judging you will do

Because I can never no if ones feelings are TRUE

I'm tired and weak gazing at the stars

As I unconsciously rub my scars

What?

You know you are in love
when you meet the one that will make your heart speak in a language you won't understand